"SOCIAL STORIES"

Lately we have had problems with our autistic son hitting his little sister.  Danes behavioral therapist has given us a sheet with a social story on it.  This is a short and simple story with simple pictures that help him to understand why he should not hit others.  The story goes like this:

Sometimes I feel mad <shows angry picture>
I do not hit people <image of no hitting>
Hitting Hurts <image of no hitting and someone crying>
___________ does not like hitting <shows person and no hitting pictures>
I do not hit friends <no hitting picture plus people image>
I say, "I am mad." <shows mad picture with person cringing>

The social story is made up of four different types of sentences.

1.  Descriptive sentences show information about specific social situations or settings. They provide what the person sees, who is involved, and what happens.

2.  Perspective sentences describe the feelings, emotions, thoughts, and/or mood of others. This is the way a situation is viewed by someone else. Children with autism have difficulties understanding how others see things.

3.  Directive sentences provide the autistic child with information about what they should try to do and be successful in that situation.

4.  Control sentences provide the autistic child with how to control their emotions.  In this case with my son.  His anger and wanting to hit his sister.

This is the 3rd social story I have gotten from the school.  When you sit and talk with your child's teachers, let them know what they can do to help you. They will gladly help with any information they can give.

"PICTURE SCHEDULE"

For the most part, it has been difficult getting my son to do things independently.  From the moment he got out of bed. Doing tasks throughout the day.  And at last, putting him down for the night.  Something has got to change, he's 5 years old! We possibly can not be doing everything for him for ever.

I know that he knows how to do things like getting dressed, but he doesn't.  Everything we had done with him we have been doing since he was a baby.  I guess I'm saying that we got so used to doing it for him.  I remember earlier that we tried, but, he just didn't.  Did he not want to because he knew we would take over and do it for him? Or does he not understand? This was very frustrating.  How can we make him to get himself dressed, pick up his toys, brush his teeth, etc...

Some of Danes Pictures Schedules

We were referred to a picture schedule from the school.  This is where we put a line of simple pictures down in a row and when he does it, take it off.  I am still amazed how quickly things started to change with him.

This is where visual thinking comes into play.  Even though I would hold up his coat right in front of him, he didn't understand what I wanted him to do.  Something as simple as a picture schedule gave him a visual of a coat.  When he sees that picture, the image is stored in his mind and things start to click.

I don't know where we would be if we didn't start this picture scheduling.  The autistic mind holds on to routines and with picture schedules, it helps them show what is to come next.

BABY EINSTEIN to the RESCUE

I can not stress enough what a difference DISNEYS BABY EINSTEIN videos did for us in the young life of our son.  Nothing could ever get done around our house.  The calming music, puppets and visual stimulation plus entertainment it gave him.  Finally, some tranquility.

Not only did these videos entertain him, they also educated.  I am in no way condoling you to just sit your autistic child in front of the television.  This is just a way to get control once again to your already stressful life.

After he had watched most of these videos, we thought it might be a interesting to buy the CD version of lets say... BABY MOZART.

In the car he would scream, a lot!  It was hard enough to get him into his baby seat.  One of his main routines at that time was, he had to jump the passenger seat and turn on the dome lights.  After that was over, then he would sit and be buckled in to leave.

Back to the CD.  We would play the audio version of Baby Mozart and just look into his eyes.  You could just see the calmness it took over.  He was totally visualizing the entire movie in his head.  He knew every inch of the details that were going on in the music and to what exactly would be on screen if he were watching.  Come to a point he'd say, "Uh OH!" then laugh.   I knew exactly what he was thinking because I have seen the video enough to know what part it was at.

Let me again point out that Baby Einstein has made a big difference in our life.  It will give you the resource you need to do the dishes or fold laundry.  On the other hand, your little one is learning and being entertained so it's a win/win situation, or loose/win..I hate doing laundry.

"ECHOLALIA"

Dane was finally able to speak and get words out around the age of 4.  They were no more than a repetition of verbal utterances.  This got to be very annoying and yet frustrating.  Sure, we were pleased and excited to see him communicate.  We would just like a yes or no answer.  This is what echolalia is about.

Every question asked got turned around and asked back to us.  When trying to communicate with him he'd just look confused and repeat exactly what we just said.  This appears to be a game of copy-cat that older kids play just to annoy their siblings or parents.  In cases like this, the child is learning to socialize in a different form.

People on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD) learn and think differently than other people.  We just have to learn more about them and deal with it as parents.  It may be a long hard road but there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Stay on track and don't loose hope.

"AUTISM AND SPEECH DELAY"

Our child didn't start speaking till he was about 4.  From what I can remember he liked the word, "Fan."  It is easy to see why.  He is emotionally attached to fans.  I don't know why and I may never understand his attachment to fans.  He will turn on the ceiling fan and bring out every other fan we have available in the house and turn them on.

The Birth to 3 program would stop by my house 2 days a week for 45 minutes.  One was a occupational therapist and the other a speech therapist.  I had to deal most with the speech therapist.  The main goal of this session was to speak slow to commands and use 2-4 word sentences.  You cannot tell an autistic child; "Hey, go to your closet, get your pants and shirt on, it's time to go."  You have to cut it short and speak slow.  Tell them "Pants on, shirt on."   You may have to even cut it shorter than that and do one step commands.  Autistic people, especially children, have trouble multi-tasking.

Our son is doing especially well right now.  I think his little sister is doing much to help him.  She is 3 and he is 5.  I also think that having him in preschool and having daycare 2 days a week around children his own age helps.

For the most part, speak slow, short sentences across to your child to help them comprehend.  Getting him or her especially involved with children their own age I would recommend to help them learn how to do things more independently.

Next Stop, MELTDOWN!

Dane cupping his ears

Parenting a child on the autism spectrum you have to spot the signs and know your child.  My son at an early age would scream every time the toilet flushed.  He would also cup his palms over his ears when certain noises hit him.  To me these noises are not loud, but to him it hurts.  Still to this day he is paranoid to flush and prepares to plug his ears.  After the flush in a public bathroom, he gets terrified or he will say, "Not too bad." if the flush is like a normal household toilet.

When we go to Wal-Mart, the florescent lights bother his vision.  We haven't done this yet but I guess wearing lightly tinted sun glasses would help him focus better.  It has to be hard for the little guy with all the loud noise from people shopping, the smell, the lights for sure and to get what we need and get out.  To a point things will seem okay, but after a while he gets these little tremors.  He will also bang his head on me meaning he is going into over-load.

To be prepared and prevent meltdown it has helped with us to give him deep pressure massages.  Also, give him a firm hug to send signals to his brain to settle his senses.  When I am at home watching TV or reading a book, he comes to me and bangs his head on me as mentioned before.  This is usually when I put him on my lap and push down on his joints to settle him down.  I gently squeeze his ankles, bend his legs and push in on his knees.  I will also put pressure on his shoulders by pushing down and then squeeze.  Not a tight squeeze, just a tight hug and that usually helps.

These are just a couple techniques that have help with us.  No parent wants a full blown meltdown, especially in public.

"RED FLAG ALERT - AUTISM"

My son, who is now 5 seemed to be like any normal baby.  By the time he turned 2 the little words that he started to speak just stopped.  We as parents didn't think much of it at the time.  What does a parent know when they are new to parenthood with their first child?

We took Dane in for his well being check-up.  The Dr. asked, "Any questions?"  "Yes, why did he stop talking?"  This is when she referred us to Birth to 3 program.

Other quirky, routine things were going on.  He always had to flip light switches.  He was always fixated on ceiling fans or pinwheels.  He was always spinning things like saucers, spoons, matchbox car wheels. When ever I used the microwave, he always had to push start or he would throw a fit.  Still he couldn't speak and would just go into a "sensory meltdown."  We had no idea what was going on.

For the time being, I was in total denial there was anything wrong.  I just figured he would grow out of these routines.  I was wrong, they got worse.  Everything set him off.  I was at a total loss and we were expecting our 2nd child.

When you hear "Red Flag" listen to what professionals tell you.  Don't just assume everything will be fine.  Take your child in and have them tested for autism if you suspect anything!  The sooner you can have them treated and get the final diagnosis, the better your child's life, and yours will be be.

It seems to me that attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorder (ASD) run side by side and hard to separate the two.  The best thing you can do for yourself is again, Get Them Tested! 

Dane

"The worst thing a parent can do, is do nothing."  The words of Temple Grandin.  She is a very brilliant woman who has grown up with Severe Autism and has a PH.D in animal science and a professor at Colorado State University.  She has also written books on her autism and I recommend reading her book entitled "The Way I See It" to get a better view on how a person living with autism sees their world.