How time flies. Almost 3 years ago I got sole legal custody of Dane & Allyson. Their mother met a man online and stole them to hurt me. After 5 weeks of hell, 2 lawyers and a determined family to find the children and get them back. Their mother has not seen their faces in all that time. Was this man really that much more to her than to watch our children grow up? Apparently it was because she got remarried last February. Only a few weeks after his previous marriage ended in divorce.
Dane is 11 now. I know I've stepped away from writing about what my life consists of. This is truly a way to release the tension on my brain that bothers me so much. I really wanted to blog and be of help to parents out there who are raising a special needs child.
School is going well for Dane. He is making some friends. He is in normal classes but has his own special education classes to help with some things. He still gets occupational therapy. His speech therapy stalled because the school didn't think it was necessary to continue. They are probably right. I can understand him but at times he is slurring his speech. My dad has a hard time hearing him and he gets mad at his Grandpa for having to repeat himself so many times.
There is a new woman in my life as well. She is very loving to the children. We do things together I only wished to do with my ex wife. The family things I always wanted from her that she would never give me. Her online video game addiction and talking to guys and stepping out and away from the people who loved her was more important. What would possess someone to lie, cheat, hide and steal from everyone? To give up seeing our children grow up? A life 1300 miles away from her own family and to live with a guy she met online. All I can say is, time does heal wounds. Emotional pain brought on by those you think love you. I want to forget the past on live in the moment and look forward to a better tomorrow.
This is my online diary about my son diagnosed with autism at age 2. His progress and regressions. His behavior and his sensory overloads. Therapy and picture schedules. Drama and humor to figure out how his mind works.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Divorce
It's hard to believe how fast time goes since I last posted anything. They say the number of divorces are greater raising a child with special needs. I confirm this because I am in the divorce club myself.
My story begins on March 13th, 2014. I arrived home from work at 2:30 p.m. to walk into my home and notice that the floor by the entry way was filthy. As if my children were running in and out of the house without taking off their shoes. I turn to see the desk I picked up around the block and brought home was gone. The rabbit cage next to the desk was also gone. It hasn't hit me yet. I know my wife was talking about moving that desk into the basement.
I walked into the living room and the new 42" television is gone. I run back to my bedroom and my queen size bed, dresser are gone. The children's bunk beds are gone. All the toys, clothes and 2 of the 3 cats are missing.
I go up to the school and my wife had not taken them that day. I went to her place of work. She quit her job. I went to the police station. She went there saying she was leaving town in case I go looking for them. The cop tells me it's civil and they can't get involved. My life is upside down. Where are my children?!
3 days go by and still no call or known where she is with our children. I've called everyone. Only her dad would talk to me and he said, "She couldn't have gone too far." He asked me how my truck was. He gave my wife $1500 to fix the transmission. She lied to him to get money from him. She filed our taxes and routed all the money into her account.
I call the principal and plead with him that my wife is gone with our kids and I don't know where they are. I ask if any kind of transfer comes in he needs to tell me. I am trying to get her for truancy.
2 weeks go by and I get a voice mail at work. The message says that my children are being enrolled in a school out of state..1300 miles away! I call my dad and he is in total shock as am I. My sister was on vacation with her husband and my father told them over Skype where she is and they can't believe it.
Now that she is out of state the police are willing to help me. There is an investigation that takes place. In this point of time I have gotten a lawyer to get me joint custody and placement not knowing where she is. Now that I know what shes done I go for full custody of our children. I go to court and she doesn't show. I won full custody and placement of our children. It will take 3 more weeks and another lawyer in that state to help me get my kids back home. We wait for the court order to be domesticated and my family and I are on our way to get them home.
I knew my wife was up to something. Always on her phone or the computer..smiling and laughing. Locking herself in the bathroom or daughters bedroom. She would tell me she had work seminars to go to and be gone for up to 5 days. I believed this. I supported her. If this was a way to work up the latter so be it. "Have a good time," I'd tell her. Little did I know she was flying halfway across the country shacking up with someone she met on the internet.
It was 5 weeks to the day my family took the 19 hour drive. 3 stops to refuel to get them back with us. We got to the lawyers office. He had the court order delivered into their court system and we were off the that school she enrolled them in. By the next day they were back in my arms in the principals office in tears of joy. We made a little vacation of the ordeal because there was the process of serving her more court papers and another hearing involved.
It has been a over a year since this nightmare took place and they are happy and doing very well in school. My life is no different without my lying, cheating, narcissistic wife. She never contributed financially or emotionally to me or our kids. I've been a single dad for years and never realized I did all the work to raise my family. All I wanted was as happy family and now I have it without the likes of her. A year in April and she has never attempted to come back to see them or even send home some of their personal possessions. I couldn't imagine not seeing my kids grow up. It doesn't seem to bother her much. She is so selfish and we are so better off without her. Dane has not had any major meltdown since hes been home. She was the cause of all the drama in my household.
May 4th the final judgement for divorce was finalized. I was awarded sole custody and placement again. She never attempted to come back to the state. Was an affair really worth it? Apparently to her it was. She's only sorry because she got caught. The court has allowed her phone contact with our children and supervised visitation. I don't see anything other than that of phone contact. They have talked to her about 10 times in the past couple weeks now. All they wanna know of her is when she's coming back and where is their stuff? Pretty sad they'd rather have their personal items back instead of their mother. They are angry with her. I don't blame them. What kind of mother abandons their children?
May 4th the final judgement for divorce was finalized. I was awarded sole custody and placement again. She never attempted to come back to the state. Was an affair really worth it? Apparently to her it was. She's only sorry because she got caught. The court has allowed her phone contact with our children and supervised visitation. I don't see anything other than that of phone contact. They have talked to her about 10 times in the past couple weeks now. All they wanna know of her is when she's coming back and where is their stuff? Pretty sad they'd rather have their personal items back instead of their mother. They are angry with her. I don't blame them. What kind of mother abandons their children?
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Elementary Xmas Program
There have been several cases of whooping cough going around school. Earlier in the week Allyson was getting feverish and complaining of a stomach ache. As of yesterday, Dane has had a fever and they both missed 2 days of school. Being that the weather has been so damn cold out and the kids are sick they did not sing for their Christmas concert.
Allyson was looking forward to singing in front of the gym. Dane, not so much. Last year Dane got a Santa hat from his Grandpa and he wore it in the concert. He was the only one wearing a hat. He stood in the center of the stage and did awesome. He learned the moves of the music they sang and liked being involved. I wish he could have been in the local paper. It seems like they always put some brat who's parents are involved in the city or have money always get the spotlight. That's horseshit!
The kids had dentist appointments the other day. We have been having mixed thoughts about the local dentist and took them to another one 30 miles away. Needless to say, the last time Allyson had her teeth cleaned the dentist said she had 3 cavities. This new dentist said she didn't have any. WTH?
The last dentist supposedly gave Dane 4 sealants. According to this dentist, he only had 2. WTF! Dane also has some kind of skin growing between his top front teeth. This dentist who has a orthodontist on hand and they specialize in children. They say that skin should be okay to leave and that it shouldn't affect his mouth any. The other dentist said he should have it removed. Gosh dammit, it's like choosing a mechanic who is trustworthy. Seems like everyone is out to cash in your insurance and drain the pocketbook.
Christmas is going to be pretty skimpy this year. I've been working overtime trying to catch up on these bills. Everything is so outrageous in price and it seems like ends never meet. I just had to stick 300 bucks in my truck on a stupid wheel bearing. The labor was 50 and the part was 245. What a crock.
Allyson was looking forward to singing in front of the gym. Dane, not so much. Last year Dane got a Santa hat from his Grandpa and he wore it in the concert. He was the only one wearing a hat. He stood in the center of the stage and did awesome. He learned the moves of the music they sang and liked being involved. I wish he could have been in the local paper. It seems like they always put some brat who's parents are involved in the city or have money always get the spotlight. That's horseshit!
The kids had dentist appointments the other day. We have been having mixed thoughts about the local dentist and took them to another one 30 miles away. Needless to say, the last time Allyson had her teeth cleaned the dentist said she had 3 cavities. This new dentist said she didn't have any. WTH?
The last dentist supposedly gave Dane 4 sealants. According to this dentist, he only had 2. WTF! Dane also has some kind of skin growing between his top front teeth. This dentist who has a orthodontist on hand and they specialize in children. They say that skin should be okay to leave and that it shouldn't affect his mouth any. The other dentist said he should have it removed. Gosh dammit, it's like choosing a mechanic who is trustworthy. Seems like everyone is out to cash in your insurance and drain the pocketbook.
Christmas is going to be pretty skimpy this year. I've been working overtime trying to catch up on these bills. Everything is so outrageous in price and it seems like ends never meet. I just had to stick 300 bucks in my truck on a stupid wheel bearing. The labor was 50 and the part was 245. What a crock.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Tooth Fairy
Dane turned 8 years old in November. He has lost 5 teeth so far. The newest loss was a top front tooth. It was really loose and bothered him very much. When he would try to speak he would bite on it. He would wiggle and twist it but it wouldn't come out.
It's getting to a point where he is starting to get when I'm joking with him. I'd say something like. "We can tie a string to it and slam the door." He asked if I could pull it for him. I said he should just keep wiggling it and eventually it will pop out. He'd say, "If it doesn't come out then I'm not going to school! That's fair because I didn't want to go to work after having a 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving.
In the morning he was sleeping in bed with my wife. His mouth was open and I saw his tooth sticking way out like it was going to fall out. I shook my wife awake to check on his tooth so he didn't swallow it or choke on it in his sleep. She rolled him on his side.
In the morning, Danes tooth was gone. He was upset and thought the Tooth Fairy wouldn't come and leave money under his pillow. Dane and my wife looked all over and didn't find it. When my wife was walking to the bathroom she felt something sharp stuck in her foot. It was his tooth. That cheered him up.
Normally when Dane gets upset it's like he hyperventilates. He breathes rapidly through his mouth. When trying to explain a situation he yells, "NO!" It takes some time but he calms down eventually.
It still sucks when he has a meltdown and goes into the mode of slamming and kicking doors and hitting his sister. It has gotten better. It used to happen several times a day to maybe once or twice a week. It was a very stressful time for the wife and I. Still is actually. We are still working opposite shifts. :(
It's hard to get Dane to sit and watch a movie. But for some reason, he loves "Back to the Future" He's watching it right now as I write this. I can see him knocking on peoples heads in school and asking, "Hello. McFly anyone home?"
It's getting to a point where he is starting to get when I'm joking with him. I'd say something like. "We can tie a string to it and slam the door." He asked if I could pull it for him. I said he should just keep wiggling it and eventually it will pop out. He'd say, "If it doesn't come out then I'm not going to school! That's fair because I didn't want to go to work after having a 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving.
In the morning he was sleeping in bed with my wife. His mouth was open and I saw his tooth sticking way out like it was going to fall out. I shook my wife awake to check on his tooth so he didn't swallow it or choke on it in his sleep. She rolled him on his side.
In the morning, Danes tooth was gone. He was upset and thought the Tooth Fairy wouldn't come and leave money under his pillow. Dane and my wife looked all over and didn't find it. When my wife was walking to the bathroom she felt something sharp stuck in her foot. It was his tooth. That cheered him up.
Normally when Dane gets upset it's like he hyperventilates. He breathes rapidly through his mouth. When trying to explain a situation he yells, "NO!" It takes some time but he calms down eventually.
It still sucks when he has a meltdown and goes into the mode of slamming and kicking doors and hitting his sister. It has gotten better. It used to happen several times a day to maybe once or twice a week. It was a very stressful time for the wife and I. Still is actually. We are still working opposite shifts. :(
It's hard to get Dane to sit and watch a movie. But for some reason, he loves "Back to the Future" He's watching it right now as I write this. I can see him knocking on peoples heads in school and asking, "Hello. McFly anyone home?"
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