Triggered Emotion

Tonight I had to work a bit late because there was no production at the plant on 2nd shift.  I had to get everything put away and finish up as fast as possible.  I do not wish to work any overtime.  8 hours is enough working in the factory.  Get to work, do the job and get the hell out.  Done and done. 

It seemed like a long drive home after work.  Maybe it felt like that to prepare what was coming when I got home.  I pulled into the driveway and my wife was putting the kids into the other vehicle.  Dane is a basket case. "The house is trashed."  Says my wife.  "We're going to your dads."

The kids are loaded into my vehicle and Dane gets more upset that he's not in the black vehicle.  We get them out and I get down on my knees and ask Dane if he needs squeezes.  He says "Yes."  I rub his back and give him tight hugs and press down on his shoulders.  I tell him that he will get through it.  It seemed to help.  I don't know what it is other then it's the sensory input he needs to calm down.

Lately Dane has been having some pretty unbelievable meltdowns.  The last one was over the weekend when we went to visit my sister.  Grandpa and my sister left to go to the store.  Dane didn't notice they left, until they got back.  Then it started.  He wanted to go to the store.  He stormed off and down the road.  He has no idea where we are.  We start off after him and he is far ahead of us.  I run to catch him.

Finally we catch up to him and try to turn him around to walk back to the house.  He screams bloody murder and that he's not going back.  He wants to go to the store.  He runs ahead of us back to the house and then curls up into a ball on the ditchline.  I try to pick him up but he screams and kicks at me.  He notices his cousin, Alex, back at the house and runs back meet him.  What just happened?

I ask my wife later tonight, "What set him off?"  She says, "Nothing."  I say, "Something had to set him off?"  She said he woke up from his nap and wet himself in his sleep.  "There ya go."  Normally we have to put a pull up on him when he naps and when he sleeps at night to prevent an accident.  On that note, either wake him up earlier from his nap or let him sleep longer but don't forget to put training pants on him.  He's fully potty trained except for cleaning himself and wetting when in a deep sleep.  If I happen to wake up in the night I try to drag him to the bathroom to release and he usually will wake up dry.

The sad part about all of this emotion is that Dane wants to be normal but he just can't control this part of himself.  I remember asking him what was wrong during this episode and he said that he didn't know.  He's so upset, over nothing, and can't calm himself down.  It hurts me to see him like that.  One minute he's happy and playful.  Next, he's a train wreck with emotions and can't control himself.  It's like walking on eggshells with him.

Disrespect / Defiance

Is it too much to ask for a little respect from my kids?  I tell them to do something and I get "Shut Up"  in a under tone voice.  I also get told to "Go Away", "Be Quiet", "Your Naughty" and "Your not my best friend anymore!"

I have also heard some swear words lately.  Dane kept saying the F word over and over before bed.  I told him that is a naughty word and that's not nice to say.  I also told him that it makes daddy sad and that he will get in trouble in school for saying that.  Not to mention I heard him say G*d Da**it when angry.

Yesterday Dane was just waking up from a short nap.  Allyson was playing with one of his tractors.  He ran up behind her and slapped her bare back leaving a hand print.  That was the hardest he has ever hit her.  She did nothing to deserve that.  He got a 5 minute time out for that.

Usually when he got a time out he would go to his room and slam the door.  Then he would lay on the floor and do a bicycle kick shaking the entire house.  He broke the trim off he kicks so hard.  This time out was different.  He stayed in there the entire time and was quiet.  He didn't put up a fight.  I think it clicked that he really did something wrong and knew he deserved this discipline.

When Dane gets tired he is at his worst.  He keeps bugging Ally.  She cries and screams at him.  He is wired up and doesn't listen.  Does he not understand what I am saying?  Is he ignoring me?  He bangs his head on me, on Ally's back, on his knee and on the arm of the couch.  He makes moaning noises and laughs.

My wife has been taking him for a short drive to get him away when he is like that.  I stay home with Ally and she drives him around the park.  It is a big difference when he gets back in the house.  He is calmed down.  I don't know what it is but that short drive settles him down.  Maybe he is so over stimulated that he needs time alone on a quiet drive around town.  I will have to ask the therapist what we can do for stimulating games for him to settle himself down when he is like this.

It's funny though.  Dane has been coming up to me asking for squeezes.  I give him a tight hug and hold him for a minute or two.  I ask how he is and he says he's better.   It has to be sensory related.  He acts naughty but can't help it possibly.  He doesn't answer when we tell him not to be doing something wrong.  He is off in his own world.

the Dentist

When I went in for my routine check-ups at the dentist I would have my son try to sit and watch what the dentist would do to my mouth. He would get curious and disrupt the dentist by turning on and off his light. We had to give him a small toy plane with spinning propellers so he would sit still. It helped that his Grandpa had his visit on the same day and could learn to trust the dentist. My son has quite a special bond with my father.

The day came and we had his check-up. He did good sitting but was having trouble with the light blinding him. After the visit, he felt happy because he got to pick out a small toy. He picked out a rubber frog. Over last summer he developed a likeness for toads and frogs. The visit resulted in him having 3 cavities! I didn't know what to expect having the dentist drill my sons teeth.

Luckily I had to work the day he got his teeth fixed. I was afraid the dentist wouldn't be able to perform his fillings. My wife had to take him and make sure he was okay and make it through alright. I wasn't prepared to witness what would be if he had a panic attack.

My son did very well for his first cavities. From what my wife told me he sat and did what the dentist told him to do. He had his mouth open wide the whole time but he had tears streaming down his face. He was terrified! My son's autism includes sensitive hearing and a sensitive mouth. He has to be prepared to cup his ears when a toilet or public hand dryer go off. I could only imagine what he felt with that dentist drill going off inside his head. That had to be extremely loud for him.

I'm glad that having his cavities fixed didn't scare him from dentist visits. My last dental cleaning was last week and he wanted to come with. I didn't take him but I'm glad that he wasn't afraid to go with me. What a brave little boy.