Marriage Counseling

Statistics of parents being divorced of a child with autism is 80 percent.  I didn't think my marriage was walking on thin ice.  I thought my wife and I were doing what we had to do until the kids get older.  I knew things sucked with the way things are.  Us working opposite shifts, taking Dane to his intensive autism therapy, working full time to make ends meet, kids fighting, stress from life.  It added up.

Everything is out of what we didn't like from each other.  We have grown apart and I didn't see it.  Our problems have brought us closer now then we have been since we've had kids.  Now we need to address our situation and figure out something to be happy again. 

We bickered a lot.  Even though we weren't yelling I think the kids could sense the tension between us.  They would fight all the time and talk back to us.  They never listened to us.  We lived like roommates and were raising our 2 kids like single parents.  When I am at work, they listen to her.  When I have the kids they, somewhat, listen to me.  When we are together they didn't know who to listen to and made their own rules.  My kids have (had) my wife and I wrapped around their little fingers.  Stick to your guns.  No means no.  Eventually, progress comes when they stop getting what they want all the time.

Ignore the tantrums.  I know it is very hard but it pays off.  Bite your lip and turn the other cheek.  They soon realize that you mean it.  No means no.  A lot of my issues with my kids was I was always saying no but not acting on it.  I'd say "no" and they'd do it anyway.  I didn't do much to stop them.  I just let them do it.  Now, I've had enough disrespect from my own kids and now they are starting to listen.  Get on your feet and take action.  Make your kids listen to you.  Do not react and get all angry and frustrated.  Act.  Stay stern and show your kids you mean it.  "NO."   They will learn to listen but it will take a little time to get it in their little minds that you are serious.