It's been a while

I'm Back!  Yeah, I deleted this blog thinking I have some kind of a writers block.  To catch up to speed...Dane was diagnosed with ADHD on top of his autism.  Not a very big surprise there.  During his re-evaluation of his autism symptoms he barely was on the spectrum.  I think they tested him on a good day.

Dane is doing well in school.  He hates homework!  I don't blame him.  He has homework every night.  At the teacher conference I mentioned how bad it is to get him to do it.  The teacher decided to cross off some of the math problems.  He basically has to do half of what the other kids are doing.

He has made  a couple friends as well.  He has problems asking for help when needed yet and are still working on that.  We got him on a reward chart for every day of the week and when he reaches his goal he gets a surprise.  Nothing big.  Just something that tells him how great he is accomplishing his goals.  He's a little behind his peers still.  Noises and fine motor skills are his weaknesses.  He still concentrates on spinning objects and banging his head on me for stimulation.

Angry birds has been a reward system for him.  He is very good at it and keeps him happy.  It is part of his routine to play it after school.

Time out's have never worked with Dane.  We always had to take something from him to show him that bad behaviour doesn't deserve a reward.  "Do Not Reward Bad Behaviour!"  As I was saying, the sticker/reward chart was one of the best things that helped him understand what his goals for the day are.

I put of the Xmas tree last night.  Hours before he was being really naughty and not listening to anything.  I know he has a processing disorder and when he gets tired he's bad.  I said if he didn't stop that I was not going to put the tree up.  That did it.  He calmed down and the tree went up and he was happy.

His meltdowns have gotten better.  Instead of demolishing everything in his path, he cries.  It's a new emotion for him to get used to.  Sadness.  I feel so bad and heartbroken when he's like that but it's better then him trashing my house not having to try and restrain him from hurting himself.

All of Danes guinea pigs died.  We had two females together in a cage.  1 male in a separate cage.  Somewhere along the line one of the females had 2 babies.  Ally was a little rough with one and it lived for about a day.  The other baby I tried to find a home for it.  Then, the male got sick.  We thought Ally hurt it because it wouldn't eat and it would bleed out the bung hole.  Then in a week or two, it died.

I went to the hardware store where they sell rabbit food/guinea pig food.  I bought a 40 lb. bag for 20 bucks thinking that would be okay for the guineas to eat until I got paid to buy them Guinea pig food.  Then, one of the females died.  Then the baby and at last, the mother.  That sucked for Dane.  I think the food was tainted or something.  They were pellets.  I would think they could have eaten pellets for a week...I guess not.  We do however have the bunny that is still alive and well..for now.  Hopefully it will grow and die of natural causes.  I've buried enough wild rabbits, chipmunks and guinea pigs by my garage.

summer

Finally the brother in law moved out!  7 months of lazyness is enough.  You would think that taking in someone under your wing without a job, car or license would be more respectful.  Danes attitude was getting  very disrespetful and angry all the time.  It seems like all the therapy we were doing for him was going down the drain.  Dane was regressing big time.

Dane had an assessment a month back only to find out he has adhd.  That was not a big surprise.

My wife took the kids to their old day care to see how shes doing.  She ended up bringing home another female guinea pig a and a rabbit.  Great, more burden.  It hasn't been too bad.  The rabbit is really tame and the kids seem to take care of it alright.

It has been so hot out for the past week.  Roads were buckling all over the state and backing traffic up for miles.

All I can think of right now is how much better my house is now that the in law and his daughter moved out.  As if I didn't have enough stress with my own kids.  Sorry if your reading this Donny but you need to get your life in order.  God helps those who help themselves.  I wish you luck.

Neural Psych. Evaluation

We were referred to a neural psych evaluation when Dane turned 6.  I didn't see the point at the time but as he got older I thought it would be the right thing to do. 

It was to be another long day for Dane.  6 hours of testing.  We told his therapists that we didn't want him to do a bunch of tests he didn't need.  He was done in 3 hours.

They rated him on a bell curve.  They wanted him to fall within the 85% range.  During the first few fazes of testing which was very verbal, he fell way below the average.  Once they took away the verbal portion of the testing which was pretty much tests done to deaf children, his average shot way up into the 85%.  This means that he is very visual.

Danes fine motor skills and gross motor skills have gone way up.  He is starting to gain control of writing his own name and coloring within the lines.  His speech has grown much as well.  Some words are hard to tell sometimes.  He will say "baff" instead of "bath."

At the end of the test they determined that he has ADHD on top of the autism.  Not a big surprise because it runs on my wifes side of the family.  The therapists are concerned on how much he is learning at school.  Is medication the option???

Dane has been complaining a lot about headaches from school.  At home he has been really bad behaved.  The therapists think it's because he holds it all in at school.  At the end of the day he's overtired and takes out his frustration on us.

School is almost over and he will be in the first grade this fall.  The pre-K teacher who Dane liked very much may be his teacher in the fall again.  That would be great.

Very Bad Behaviour

I don't know what the deal is.  Okay, so Dane's uncle, Donny and his 3 yr. old daughter moved in with us in January.  Maybe Dane feels his home space is being violated.  Maybe he is just so tired out from the long day at school.  Anyways, Dane has been terrible to deal with.

Up to date!  My wife quit the factory and went back into nursing in an assisted living facility.  She is much happier with her life.  We are dealing with a lot of stress.  Hmm, an autistic son.  A 6 dollar pay cut, the brother in law and daughter, work.  It's boiling down.

I was having marriage troubles in August last year.  My wife moved out on me for a day and rented an apartment.  She realized how nuts she has been going not seeing me and practically raising our children by ourselves.  It reached its boiling point and now it's all out on the table what we don't like.  Needless to say, her quitting the shitty factory with bitchy women was a major plus.  I missed my happy and bubbly girl I fell in love with the first time.  We felt like we were falling in love again.  It felt like the end of our marriage was near.  I lost 20 pounds and she is rail thin.  She looks good and I've had some turn around looks at work I never seen before.  Some old bags but I can still feel flattered in such a way.

About Danes behavior.  He was down to once a week therapy for one hour.  He is now being booted back to 2 days a week for 1 hour. 

At school he has been making friends and learning how to read.  His teacher tells me what a good day he had.  I am starting to think that he started to "hate" school when during one of his teachers deleted Angry Birds off the school Ipad in front of him without any warning.  I guess he was being unattentive and now he needs to earn the game back as a "privilage."

For the past few weeks now he has such negative things to say.  "I hate you, I hate school, I hate Donny and Bella, I hate this show!"  Hate Hate Hate...I don't get it.

I never watch violent movies.  I watch my language (sometimes the f bomb slipps) Not too often.  But he comes home and talks about hand on hand combat.  That I know he is not learning from home.

I was thinking while mowing lawn tonight.  He's around loud noised and flickering flourescent lights all day.  The lunch room is especially loud.  Kids in the halls talking and running are loud.  His teachers and therapists say how good and well behaved he is.  Is this the same kid?  Ever since Angry Birds was deleted in front of him without warning...he's been awful getting up and out to school.  He has been late lots of times because he won't get dressed.  When he does get to school, the whole class yells his name and give him hugs.  He loves school!

My wife went to visit the babysitter from the earlier years.  She brought home another guinea pig and a bunny rabbit.  Dane was so proud he took it to school for show and tell.  He was very popular that day.  I wasn't too thrilled about the critters but as soon as I pet the little rabbit..I melted.

Only 3 more days left and he will be in the first grade.  He's very happy because his pre-K teacher got promoted to 1st grade.  He likes her very much.

Today Dane had a field trip to the zoo.  His teacher told me the chaparone had nothing but good news and how well behaved he was during the trip.  I don't think the parent he knew he had autism even.  Lots of people don't.

On Fridays and Sundays I have to drive 50 miles one way to trade my bro in laws daughter with her mother.  Especially working all day, I am beat!  I want to get there and back as fast as possible.  I mean, the guy has no job, license, car..not a pot to piss in and he has been with us since Jan. 1st.  I already have my marriage on the line, Danes therapy, a sassy daughter, now this?  I am up to my eyes in stress and trying to manage everyone elses lives instead of mine.

I can see why Dane is acting out.  He needs his space as well as me.