Who would have thought that having children that cutting their hair was like pulling teeth! Metaphorically speaking of course. Literally speaking though, cutting a kid's hair when they are autistic makes them feel like their being tortured.
We have not even tried to take my son to a hair salon because he would freak out most likely. We considered "Fantastic Sams" but we changed our mind quickly after our shopping experience at Walgreens. He threw a fit and didn't want to leave the store. He ran around the aisle and was hard to catch. This was because we wouldn't let him get a new toy. We are trying to teach him that we can't buy him something everywhere we go just so he behaves.
I cut my own hair to save some dollars. In the meantime I have cut my dads and my brothers. I cut my son's just so he doesn't take out his frustration on the person cutting his hair. I don't think they would be able to handle him squirming and screaming that his hair hurts. He cries and tells me "All done!" I keep telling him, "Your doing so well. We can take a short break." One side is done and it looks like crap so I want to finish it. He does get back in the chair and it is painful to watch and clip trying not to hurt him.
I don't understand what hurts him. Is it the pulling of the clippers? I cut slow and the blades are sharp so they glide gently. Is it the buzzing noise of the clippers? Is it too loud for him? Or both? Apparently hair can be as sensitive as biting into a mouthful of frozen ice cream.
This is my online diary about my son diagnosed with autism at age 2. His progress and regressions. His behavior and his sensory overloads. Therapy and picture schedules. Drama and humor to figure out how his mind works.
Showing posts with label tantrum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tantrum. Show all posts
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
No Easy Explanation
I feel that you really need to tell an autistic child several times about something before it happens. I try to tell my son about leaving for work and he goes through a range of emotions.
He will ask, "I come to?" To tell him that he can't go gets him really sad. He cries and walks away. A while later we will tell him again that I have to leave and that I will be back later. This time he will get angry and stomp his feet and storms off crying.
This happened again at his grandparents house. Grandma was having a dinner award for her 40 years in the factory. Grandpa had to go with, and why not, it's a free meal. Telling him that Grandpa has to leave and he can't go set him off. Sadness, anger, agitation. It's very overwhelming. It leaves me stressed trying to make him understand that he will be back. Some things he just can't do with us or his grandparents.
The time came when Grandpa was leaving for the dinner party. He didn't take it so hard at the final moments of his leaving. What a relief. I thought he would go into a tantrum and we would have to deal with that for the next hour. Maybe it was worth telling him 5 times prior leaving to not deal with him screaming. I could have dealt without the tantrums the other 4 times however.
With therapy and hope, he will eventually be able to control his emotions from what his therapists tell me. Autism is not cured but it is treated. It is not easy dealing with situations that you have no control over. Once control is regained, the bitter sweetness of happy children who we love is upon us until the next fight or meltdown. Enjoy it while you can. With fingers crossed, it will get better with each passing day.
He will ask, "I come to?" To tell him that he can't go gets him really sad. He cries and walks away. A while later we will tell him again that I have to leave and that I will be back later. This time he will get angry and stomp his feet and storms off crying.
This happened again at his grandparents house. Grandma was having a dinner award for her 40 years in the factory. Grandpa had to go with, and why not, it's a free meal. Telling him that Grandpa has to leave and he can't go set him off. Sadness, anger, agitation. It's very overwhelming. It leaves me stressed trying to make him understand that he will be back. Some things he just can't do with us or his grandparents.
The time came when Grandpa was leaving for the dinner party. He didn't take it so hard at the final moments of his leaving. What a relief. I thought he would go into a tantrum and we would have to deal with that for the next hour. Maybe it was worth telling him 5 times prior leaving to not deal with him screaming. I could have dealt without the tantrums the other 4 times however.
With therapy and hope, he will eventually be able to control his emotions from what his therapists tell me. Autism is not cured but it is treated. It is not easy dealing with situations that you have no control over. Once control is regained, the bitter sweetness of happy children who we love is upon us until the next fight or meltdown. Enjoy it while you can. With fingers crossed, it will get better with each passing day.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Routines
A routine I didn't mention at the early stages of my son when he was still a toddler. Before we left anywhere, he would have to jump over the seats in our vehicles, turn on the dome lights and honk the horn.
No matter what we would do, he just had to do these quirky things or he would go wild. This is before we knew he was autistic. We really didn't know what autism was at that time. We knew there was something wrong. One routine after another. After one routine starts and goes on for a while, it ends and a new one starts.
Trying to buckle him into his car seat was virtually impossible. He would kick and scream. He would have to turn on the dome lights, honk the horn and then he would be as calm as can be and get buckled in to go. We knew we didn't want him to do this all the time. When it's time to go, it's time to go now. I don't want to have to deal with fighting with my son when we want to go somewhere.
Every time though, we would have to cave in after a few minutes and make him happy just to go anywhere. Every routine had complete control over us. Until he flipped a switch, spun a wheel, honked the horn, lined toys up, etc...we let him do it just so he wouldn't throw a tantrum.
When he would tantrum they would last from 45 minutes to an hour. That was enough to bring us as parents to our knees. Screaming, kicking and crying. What were we doing wrong? I just wanted our child to be happy. If he could only talk to tell us what was wrong.
Every day is a new adventure. There are good days and they are very well appreciated. When there are bad days it is like hell on earth where anything we try to do is wrong and nothing makes him happy. I figured out though that when he is over-tired, that is when he is at his worst. That is when nothing is right and all he needs to do is nap. After a nap he is all better. Getting him to lay down for the nap or bed time is the real challenge.
No matter what we would do, he just had to do these quirky things or he would go wild. This is before we knew he was autistic. We really didn't know what autism was at that time. We knew there was something wrong. One routine after another. After one routine starts and goes on for a while, it ends and a new one starts.
Trying to buckle him into his car seat was virtually impossible. He would kick and scream. He would have to turn on the dome lights, honk the horn and then he would be as calm as can be and get buckled in to go. We knew we didn't want him to do this all the time. When it's time to go, it's time to go now. I don't want to have to deal with fighting with my son when we want to go somewhere.
Every time though, we would have to cave in after a few minutes and make him happy just to go anywhere. Every routine had complete control over us. Until he flipped a switch, spun a wheel, honked the horn, lined toys up, etc...we let him do it just so he wouldn't throw a tantrum.
When he would tantrum they would last from 45 minutes to an hour. That was enough to bring us as parents to our knees. Screaming, kicking and crying. What were we doing wrong? I just wanted our child to be happy. If he could only talk to tell us what was wrong.
Every day is a new adventure. There are good days and they are very well appreciated. When there are bad days it is like hell on earth where anything we try to do is wrong and nothing makes him happy. I figured out though that when he is over-tired, that is when he is at his worst. That is when nothing is right and all he needs to do is nap. After a nap he is all better. Getting him to lay down for the nap or bed time is the real challenge.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sensory or Behavioral Meltdown?
There has to be two forms of an autistic meltdown. Sensory meltdown and behavioral meltdown. I'm not positive of this. This is just my concerns from what I witness with my son.
A sensory meltdown occurs when the nervous system goes into a sensory over-load. This involves the sense of touch, smell, taste, sound and vision. When an over stimulating environment causes the mind to scramble and not process the information fast enough.
A behavioral meltdown happens when the autistic child doesn't get to do something and can't get a hold of themselves till they get it done with. No matter how small the situation.
Tonight my dad was on the phone and he hung it up without my son saying hello and goodbye to who was on the other end. This upset him to a point of a tantrum that wouldn't end. It is one of his routines to say "hello and goodbye" to the other person on the phone. Thus, the behavioral meltdown in my view.
I put it off and tried to let him cry himself out and calm down without my help. I thought it would only last a few minutes but it lasted a long time. Usually I try to rub his back or give him a tight hug for sensory stimulation but tonight he wouldn't let me near him. Maybe being tired and a nap cut short triggered this?
Going on to 40 minutes he wasn't getting any better emotionally. I had to do something about this. He was making himself sick he was crying so much. All because he didn't say "hello" on the phone.
It came to the point where I called my parents home phone from my cell phone. The phone rang and he finally got to say hello and goodbye to me on the other line. Now the tears turned into sniffles and sighs of relief. All it took was for me to call and have him answer.
It makes me sick thinking that it will be like this until he has more therapy. He needs to understand that some things he cannot do. He needs to not get so upset over the smallest things. I know I could have prevented the prolonged tantrum by calling earlier. I should have. I wanted to see if he could end it on his own but it wasn't happening. How do I redirect his attention to not focus on the phone? Nothing was changing his mind.
Sometimes a parent feels lost what way they can do or should have done earlier to prevent a situation like this. The best way to handle a meltdown, is to prevent it from happening. You just don't know what will trigger it off.
A sensory meltdown occurs when the nervous system goes into a sensory over-load. This involves the sense of touch, smell, taste, sound and vision. When an over stimulating environment causes the mind to scramble and not process the information fast enough.
A behavioral meltdown happens when the autistic child doesn't get to do something and can't get a hold of themselves till they get it done with. No matter how small the situation.
Tonight my dad was on the phone and he hung it up without my son saying hello and goodbye to who was on the other end. This upset him to a point of a tantrum that wouldn't end. It is one of his routines to say "hello and goodbye" to the other person on the phone. Thus, the behavioral meltdown in my view.
I put it off and tried to let him cry himself out and calm down without my help. I thought it would only last a few minutes but it lasted a long time. Usually I try to rub his back or give him a tight hug for sensory stimulation but tonight he wouldn't let me near him. Maybe being tired and a nap cut short triggered this?
Going on to 40 minutes he wasn't getting any better emotionally. I had to do something about this. He was making himself sick he was crying so much. All because he didn't say "hello" on the phone.
It came to the point where I called my parents home phone from my cell phone. The phone rang and he finally got to say hello and goodbye to me on the other line. Now the tears turned into sniffles and sighs of relief. All it took was for me to call and have him answer.
It makes me sick thinking that it will be like this until he has more therapy. He needs to understand that some things he cannot do. He needs to not get so upset over the smallest things. I know I could have prevented the prolonged tantrum by calling earlier. I should have. I wanted to see if he could end it on his own but it wasn't happening. How do I redirect his attention to not focus on the phone? Nothing was changing his mind.
Sometimes a parent feels lost what way they can do or should have done earlier to prevent a situation like this. The best way to handle a meltdown, is to prevent it from happening. You just don't know what will trigger it off.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
"DISCIPLINE"
My autistic son has a hard time dealing with his emotions. They take over and run his life. As a parent dealing with behavioral meltdowns it is complicated to not set off his temper. When he has his mind set on something, like, going to the store with Grandpa, telling him "No" can trigger this emotion. We try to explain that, "Grandpa will be right back!" doesn't help. He can't deal with being left out for a few minutes.
This brings up his behavioral meltdown/tantrum. His mind is over-loaded with sadness and heartache that he is left out. Then comes anger. He throws, stomps his feet, slaps the wall and slams the doors.
What do you do with a child who learn these life situations and can understand? You use discipline. Autistic or not, discipline has to be a used practice. To not discipline the child for being naughty and not listening to you lets that child walk all over you. Soon, you will not have any control over bad moments if they get away with bad behavior all the time.
Take something away like their favorite toy to teach them that they were bad. When they are good they can have it back. Think of a way to teach your child that they were doing something wrong and not listening to you. Discipline has its key role to teach our children right from wrong.
My sons Behavioral Therapist through the school gave us a reward chart to use. When he is good and does as he is told, he gets a smiley face sticker on the chart. When his goal is not reached, he gets a sad face sticker. When he sees more smiley faces on that chart it makes him feel that he is meeting his goals. That also makes a parent happy to see your child doing what they are supposed to do.
With discipline comes rewards. A child who maintains his self-discipline deserves something for his/her good work. You have to let the child know that you are pleased with the results you are seeing. Let the child choose their reward also. Something like a small toy or to play at the park. It doesn't have to be big, just something the child enjoys. Giving the child a choice in their rewards makes them feel happy and in control.
That is what discipline is about. Taking something bad and making something good come out of it. Like their behavior.
This brings up his behavioral meltdown/tantrum. His mind is over-loaded with sadness and heartache that he is left out. Then comes anger. He throws, stomps his feet, slaps the wall and slams the doors.
What do you do with a child who learn these life situations and can understand? You use discipline. Autistic or not, discipline has to be a used practice. To not discipline the child for being naughty and not listening to you lets that child walk all over you. Soon, you will not have any control over bad moments if they get away with bad behavior all the time.
Take something away like their favorite toy to teach them that they were bad. When they are good they can have it back. Think of a way to teach your child that they were doing something wrong and not listening to you. Discipline has its key role to teach our children right from wrong.
My sons Behavioral Therapist through the school gave us a reward chart to use. When he is good and does as he is told, he gets a smiley face sticker on the chart. When his goal is not reached, he gets a sad face sticker. When he sees more smiley faces on that chart it makes him feel that he is meeting his goals. That also makes a parent happy to see your child doing what they are supposed to do.
With discipline comes rewards. A child who maintains his self-discipline deserves something for his/her good work. You have to let the child know that you are pleased with the results you are seeing. Let the child choose their reward also. Something like a small toy or to play at the park. It doesn't have to be big, just something the child enjoys. Giving the child a choice in their rewards makes them feel happy and in control.
That is what discipline is about. Taking something bad and making something good come out of it. Like their behavior.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
"EMOTIONS"
I try my best to keep my son with ASD happy. Some times it is virtually impossible. The slightest thing sets him off. Tonight it was a straw to drink his milk.
It all started when his sister was drinking her milk. Naturally, he woke up from his nap and wanted milk also. I get him a glass of milk. That's not good enough. He wants a straw to drink with. I try and explain that we are out of straws. This started off his temper. Now, to regain control over the situation.
He's sitting in my leather rocker recliner and starts rocking hard. Then, he goes and tips over his toys. He grabs other objects and gets ready to throw. He stomps his feet around the house. What do I do? Is this part of his autism or behavior?
I try and pick him up to give him a hug to settle him down. I tell him it's alright that we will have to get more straws. He's still really upset.
This goes on for a while. It seems like it will never end. When you least expect it, it's over. He's done with his tantrum. Wiping away tears from his eyes and taking deep breaths.
Parenting an autistic child you have to call the signs of a meltdown. One like this will strike out of no where. Remain calm. You have to try and control your temper as well. The child will feed off that emotion and things will get worse. Bite your lip and take a deep breath. We will get through another day. One day at a time. You have to have bad days to appreciate the good ones.
It all started when his sister was drinking her milk. Naturally, he woke up from his nap and wanted milk also. I get him a glass of milk. That's not good enough. He wants a straw to drink with. I try and explain that we are out of straws. This started off his temper. Now, to regain control over the situation.
He's sitting in my leather rocker recliner and starts rocking hard. Then, he goes and tips over his toys. He grabs other objects and gets ready to throw. He stomps his feet around the house. What do I do? Is this part of his autism or behavior?
I try and pick him up to give him a hug to settle him down. I tell him it's alright that we will have to get more straws. He's still really upset.
This goes on for a while. It seems like it will never end. When you least expect it, it's over. He's done with his tantrum. Wiping away tears from his eyes and taking deep breaths.
Parenting an autistic child you have to call the signs of a meltdown. One like this will strike out of no where. Remain calm. You have to try and control your temper as well. The child will feed off that emotion and things will get worse. Bite your lip and take a deep breath. We will get through another day. One day at a time. You have to have bad days to appreciate the good ones.
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