Thursday, September 29, 2011

sensory sack/body sock

I arrived at the elementary school at 2:50 to get Dane out of school and take him to his therapy.  He was so proud of himself because he walked from his class all the way to the office by himself.  That was very exciting for me also to see how happy he was to walk himself.  For the past 3 weeks a teacher or other student had walked Dane to the office to meet with me.  He leaves 10 minutes before recess and gets ahead of the other classes and away from the noise and clutter of children working their ways through the hallway.  The first thing he told me was, "Daddy, I walked all by myself."  He had a big smile on his face and couldn't wait to tell his mother, Grandpa and his therapist.

I told Danes therapist about at times how he enters his own world.  He makes lots of noises.  He bothers his sister constantly even while I try to separate the two.  He bangs his head and his body twitches.  I told the therapist that Dane has been asking for "squeezes" also.  After I give him a firm hug and put pressure on his joints that helps to calm him.  Usually my wife would take him for a short drive around town and get him out of the house and away from his sister.  When they return, Dane settles down a lot.  I asked if there were any "sensory" toys or games he could use to entertain and calm himself without having to go for a drive all the time.

Dane in a sensory sack for comfort
Kate, Danes therapist, recommended a few things.  Bean bag chairs that he could be placed between for pressure.  She said he didn't think much of the weighted vest and didn't have one in his size to borrow.  She said he enjoys playing with the beans and running his hands through them and letting them fall through his fingers.  The last idea she has was the sensory sack or body sock it's called.  Kate used it during his therapy and he did good with it.

The sensory sack Dane really likes and we got to borrow it and see if it is worth getting one.  I noticed a difference letting him use it tonight.  The sack must be made from nylon that stretches and forces pressure on him and helps calm him down.  Nonetheless, he has fun with it and tucks completely in it and hides.  The only problem is that his sister, Ally, wants one too.  The first night I had to have them take turns because they fought over it.  It looks like I will have to buy two of them just to prevent constant fighting over it.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Explaining Death

A while back before we gotten our guinea pigs Wubbzy and Gizmo, there was Nemo.  Nemo died of natural causes.  That, or it was the q-tip the kids threw into the cage. Nemo ate it within a matter of seconds before I had the slightest chance of getting it out before he ate it.  It happened that fast.  I didn't realize a q-tip could be gobbled up as fast as a human can suck spaghetti noodles by a small furry animal.

After Nemo died, I have to explain that Nemo is gone.  This is about a year ago, I tell the kids that he is with Jesus.  Where's Nemo?  He's with Jesus.  In heaven.  He's in a better place.  He's up in the clouds.  He's at peace.  What do I say?

I remember my wife telling me that Dane was shaking the cage and running back into the bed room saying that, "Nemo won't wake up!'  Uh, oh.  Nemo's dead.

Recently, the kids were fighting over their new night lights for their bed rooms.  I don't know exactly what happened and Dane got really upset.  He told my wife that she died like Nemo.  Needless to say my wife was hurt and appalled. She wanted me to explain to him how that hurt her and explain death further and have him apologize.

After school, I knelt down and told him that if daddy or Grandpa died like Nemo, he would never see daddy or Grandpa again.  I told him that since Nemo died, he hasn't seen Nemo.  Nemo's gone, forever.  I told Dane that that made mommy sad.  He didn't want to apologize because he wanted to play outside. I let him play a bit.  After while, I told him again to apologize and explain why we don't talk about dying.  If someone dies, their gone.  I want to make this a simple explanation but it seems to get harder as I explain.  Eventually, he apologized.  My wife asked what his apology was for and he said, "The night light."  Wow, something clicked and he understood what the apology was for.

I was proud that he said he was sorry on his own.  I took him to one of his cousin's houses to play with someone his own age.  He rode around in their Gator and rode bike.  He had fun.  He's been cooped up in the house all week.  Finally, he get's to go outside and run.  I hope the weather warms up a bit more and stops raining.  It won't be long and winter will be here soon.  Blah.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Time Out in School

After picking up Dane from school Monday I asked the usual question.  "How was school today?"  Dane usually responds with, "Good."  Okay, that's a start.  "Did you have fun?  What did you learn today?"  Dane says he likes school and that he got a time out.  A Time Out!?

I ask, "What happened?  Dane said, "I dunno."  Then all he said what that, "Teacher is naughty!"  I was getting ready for bed and my wife was out the door going to work.  I told her, "Dane got a time out today."  "For what? " She says.  I said he didn't tell me why.

The next morning my wife was getting Dane ready for school and she asked about the time out.  He responded with a horrible meltdown.  He may have been getting sick and not feeling well so he stayed home from school.

I brought up with Danes therapist that he had a time out and won't tell me what happened.  I asked her if she can get it out of him.  He gave her two stories what happened.  Either the whole class got a time out or just a small group including him got a time out for hitting.  I told the therapist that the teacher didn't say anything to me about this time out incident.  Maybe it wasn't that serious and that's why she didn't tell me or send home a note. I said that it was interesting that he told me and brought it to my attention.  That's progress with his communication that something happened.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Loud Noises - sensory intake

I had gotten the kids to sleep last night around 9 pm.  I sat down and read the new Wall E book with Dane and Ally.  Afterwords, it was time for them to get to sleep.  I was tired out from the sunny day we actually had.  Will this rain and cold and wind just go away so the kids can run around outside?    Where did summer go?

I woke up on the couch around 2 this morning.  I was going to go to my own bed and go figure, Dane wakes up crying and looking for me.  I have to get him back to his bed and lay down by his side and then Ally wakes up screaming.  Dane pushes away at Ally so I have to lay between them to get them to sleep.  I wake up at 4 and sneak out to get into my own bed.  Dane wakes up 5 minutes later crying for "Daddy!"  I swear these kids have instinct when I leave.  How else do they always wake up?

6 am I wake up with both kids again and I lay on the couch trying to get a little more sleep while they are wide awake scaring the guinea pig.  Eventually, I pull myself off the couch to get the house picked up. 

We go out to eat at the family restaurant in town.  We place our orders and get our food.  I am sick of ordering meals for the kids when they don't eat.  When we get home they say that their hungry.  We lock up all the cabinets because I don't want them snacking all the time.  We try and have a nice sit down family meal and Ally is falling asleep and antsy.  Dane is staring at the ceiling and shaking his head.  He has been shaking his head a lot lately and looking up.  That is something new.  Probably something to do with his sensory input.  My wife gives him a back rub to make him settle down.

I'm halfway through my meal and the kids have to go potty.  My wife takes them.  I make her take the kids to the womens room because mens rooms are disgusting.  After they do their business Dane washes his hands and is frightened to push the blow dryer butten.  He doesn't want to but he's curious if it will be loud or not.  He always gets ready to plug his ears.  He pushes it and runs out of the bathroom back to our table.  The kids are getting tired so I guess it's time to go.

My wife takes the kids out the door and they run off towards the highway.  She yells at them to stop and they do.  They get into the truck and I stay back to clean up the table and pay the bill.  We decide to go to Grandpa's house to relax.  The kids fall asleep within minutes of driving.  If they could only fall asleep that fast when it is bed time at home.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Play Date

Since my wife works the night shift I need to keep the kids entertained to let her get sleep.  Usually I have to run out to the country to visit their Grandpa.  Out there I get a chance to put my feet up and let the kids run around.  I also get to get caught up on my family and talk with dad.

I have to discipline the kids when they don't listen or do bad things so I punish them by not going to their Grandpa's.  That also hurts me because there I can unwind and have help watching my kids.  I feel they see too much of their Grandpa and that's probably why they don't listen to me.  Grandpa likes to give in way too much and not say "no."  That causes trouble for me when I get the kids home.  They feel like they can do whatever they want and walk over me.

Some days I am so exhausted after working all day.  My feet hurt, I'm tired and hungry.  All I want to do is get home some days and take a shower and sit down.  Luckily today the kids were actually napping when I got home and I got to catch a cat nap with them.

After they woke up that's the start of another full time job keeping them happy and entertained.  I let them go outside and Dane organizes his pinwheels and played with the bubble mower.  Ally plays on the swings.  Sometimes Ally will take things from Dane and he hits her in the back.  I hate it when he does that.  He needs to learn to use his words and not his fists.  He needs to hear that makes his sister sad and it hurts her.  The no hitting social story from the school helped explain that to him.  His therapist also explains to him.  He has a hard time seeing how others feel.

I told them we'd go up to the park because I had to send out a letter for another speech evaluation on Dane.  I went the wrong way and instead of turning around I went to my cousin's place.  He has 2 boys the same age as mine.

It is important for Dane to have someone close to him to play with.  I have seen many benefits with his behavior watching and learning from other children.  Daycare is very beneficial having him see all the other kids dressing themselves and how they use their manners.  We do not need daycare the way our work schedules line up.  We use it 2 days a week for Danes benefit.  It also helps my wife to get some sleep after working all night.  It also gives me a couple hours to get something done around the house and a break from the kids.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays Dane has his therapy after Dawn works all night.  She has to come home and quickly get the kids back out the door for the next few hours.  I don't know how she stays awake.  This is just something we have to do to help Dane overcome some of his issues.  He is maturing and learning to do things more independently.  Right at the moment his fine motor skills are declining and therapy and us have to help him work on that.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Emotional Behavior

Behavior.  What set's it off?  Sometimes something as little as shutting off the kitchen sink.  Dane will have to turn the water on then off or he will have a meltdown.  He has been getting better with his intensive 3 hour therapy sessions two days a week.

Over the weekend we had a cookout at my parents.  We were looking at how bad my dads shingles are on his roof over his house.  45 years old those shingles are and now dad is considering putting a steel roof on.  The shingles on the garage that my brother and I helped roof less then 8 years ago look like crap.  Most of them are curling up already?  Everything is made so cheap.  Those shingles had a 30 year warranty I thought?  Dad says shingles these days your lucky to get 15 years use.

The neighbor down the road stopped in on his 4 wheeler.  He told dad about his steel roof that he put on and wanted to show him.  He wanted dad to jump on the wheeler and take him down the road.  Dad didn't want to go but my brother and I told him to go.

Dane didn't see that Grandpa left on the 4 wheeler and then seen him down the road.  He got really upset.  He stood on the edge of the driveway crying until Grandpa got back.  After he came back, in the neighbors truck, Dane stormed off because the 4 wheeler didn't come back.  He wanted to go for a ride.  He stormed off down the road and I had to run to catch him.  He stayed on side because I have really been pushing him to stay on the side of the road. I never let him close to the road unless I am with him.  I don't know if he'd just walk out into traffic.  Eventually I got him turned around to walk back to the house with me.

Later that evening then neighbor came back on his 4 wheeler and I got to give Dane a ride.  I took him down the road to their farm. We looked at the cows and turned around.  I knew the whole while he was thinking about riding it.  I think that made him happy for the rest of the night.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Air Show

My wife wanted to go see the EAA Air Show 3 hours away.  We decided this could be good family bonding experience.  My family doesn't get to do much together because we work opposite shifts.  It doesn't help that the kids are as little as they are also. I hope to change our life styles soon to help my marriage. 

I was surprised and happy how well the children took the long car ride.  There was a park near by with a splash pad.  We wanted the kids to go to the bathroom before we got to the airport.  We had a couple hours to spare and luckily my wife packed their bathing suits.  They got to play and run through the water with all the other kids.

Dane didn't want to leave but we told him he didn't want to miss the airplanes and big jets.  He likes Big Jet from Disney's Little Einsteins.

When we got there we needed to find a place to park.  8 dollars.  Then we had to get into the airport and get 2 adult wrist bands and 2 bands for the kids.  75 dollars.  Whoa.  I hope I had enough money to get through the day with the 90 degree heat.

Now what?  We walked around not knowing how to get to the air show.  We went outside and there was a line of people waiting for buses.  That is how we get there?

Dane was hungry so we got 3 hot dogs and a bottle of water.  He wanted catsup but I didn't want him to get messy. I told him that catsup was cooked into it and he didn't need to put any on.  A little white lie on my part.

On the bus a nice guy let my kids sit in his spot.  Allyson was excited about her first bus ride.

When the bus stopped and we were on the airfield I figured the kids would be okay to walk.  I wanted to get Danes picture next to a Bomber jet but he knelt down and didn't want his picture taken.  He was already pre exhausted from the heat.  We went back and got the last 2 seater wagon for 15 bucks deposit.  They needed to hold on to my drivers license.

We looked at a lot of big cargo planes and helicopters.  Dane got to sit in a helicopter but didn't seem to excited.  He looked like he was going to have a heat stroke.

I thought that sonic booms were going off because of the planes taking off but they actually were dropping bombs.  That was cool.

My wife went to get us some more water and a veteran pilot gave Dane and Ally stickers while the next planes were flying in formation.

After the final bomb which was a wall of fire that the announcer said, "Changed the war," a big, black cloud was rolling in.  I was expecting a torrential downpour so we wanted to get out of there.

We were walking faster and faster trying to get back to the buses and I looked to the right.  A big mess of dust and gravel was coming at us.  We tried to make it inside a tent but it was already there.  That wind must have been 60 mph.  People were scattering everywhere looking for shelter.  We got to the side of the tent and knelt down on top of the kids.  I put the kids hats over their faces to protect their eyes from flying debree.  Another boy asked his father if that was a tornado.  Dane was so frightened and couldn't tell us how scared he was.

We got back to the wagon rental station and their tent was blown over.  I needed to get my license back and people kept budding in front of me.  Finally a nice old man asked if those were my kids.  I was the only one in the line with kids.  Everyone was returning motorized karts.  He let me get in front of him.  All the licenses were messed up because the wind knocked over their file cabinet.  People were getting distressed because they wanted their cards back.  I thanked the man and we finally go my license back.

Dane fell asleep on the ride back home.  When we got home he was still shaking.  My wife said she'd take him for a quick drive to calm him down.  I'm like, "We just drove 3 hours."  It worked.  She got back and Dane settled down a lot.  She took him around the park and he told her a bit about the ducks there.  A little one on one bonding seems to help even if it's for a short drive. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Imaginative Play

What a wonderful thing to come home from work to.  Silence.  Both kids taking their naps at the same time on the couch with Maisey on the television.  Food on the stove and a hot bath run.  Wonderful.  I like it.  I like it a lot!

I'd like the kids to start playing video games.  These new systems are so complicated with all the buttons and action going on.  I brought out from storage the old 8 bit Nintendo Entertainment System from my childhood.  What junk.  None of the games would stay on.  I kept getting the blue flashing screen.  The only game I actually got to work was the original Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt combo game.  I wanted to play Duck Hunt and the kids wanted to shoot the ducks.  I think this would help Dane with his hand, eye coordination and fine motor skills.

There must be something with the new flat screen TV's.  BANG BANG BANG!  Then that laughing piece of shit dog comes up.  "Let me see that."  I say.  Same thing.  3 misses and the laughing dog.  Even with the zapper up to the screen would miss the ducks.  There I go.  Getting the kids hopes up for something cool and turns out to be a let down.

The wife is off to bed and the kids are wound up.  Dane wants to go to Grandpas, go figure.  He gets upset and takes it out on Ally.  He starts to slam doors in her face and slap her arm.  He even started to scratch her.  When he gets in that attitude frame of mind I have to keep Allyson distant from him or he tries to hurt her.  Sometimes I think she brings it on and irritates him by taking his toys from him.

Looks like rain so I have to bring the kids inside and get some laundry done.  First thing they do in run around the basement with those loud dump trucks.  Dawn wakes up and tells me to take their trucks away.  I'm trying to do laundry.  After I get a load in I'll take them back upstairs and "try" to keep them quiet.

I thought I'd bring out Ally's doll house and try some imaginative play with the kids.  Dane showed no interest at all.  Not because of the doll house.  Because he lacks imaginative play.  That really sucks that all Dane see's is reality and can't use his imagination.  He did laugh when I used the small dog to pretend play drinking out of the toilet and then lick at Ally and his faces.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Kindergarten

Dane was excited to go back to school.  He still talks about his teacher from last year.  It's sad for him knowing that she is not his teacher this year.  He is in a new classroom with all new students.  Only a couple familiar faces are in his class this year.  I don't understand why they didn't put him in a class with more students he got to know from last year.  That really stinks.  I told him that he will make lots of new friends this year.  Most of the kids are latino.

There was a young hispanic girl starting kindergarten this year.  She was crying and scared.  She couldn't speak any english.  Her parents dropped her off and left her on her own.  The teachers had to find an interpreter to speak to her and calm her down.  The girl was new to the area and didn't know anybody.

Danes first day of Kindergarten before class
The school wants the kids entering the school to go strait to the cafeteria.  This is for breakfast and for those who will eat before their first class.  I understand if someones kid has to get up early and ride the bus to school who don't have time to eat to have this option.  I live about 5 blocks from the school and Dane has time to eat breakfast at home.  I told his teacher that he will not be getting to school early to wait in the lunch room with all the loud kids eating their breakfast.  He will arrive right before class starts between 8:15 and 8:25.  I am not paying for 2 or 3 meals a day when he can eat at home before school starts.

It sounds from Danes teacher that he had a good day and I am happy about that.  Hopefully she is telling me the truth for me not to be concerned.  I need to set up a M-Team meeting to get the personnel involved with Dane to let the staff know about his condition.  A lot of the teachers and people working close with him don't know he has autism.  I could have knocked the librarian over with a feather when I told her last year.  I couldn't believe she didn't know.  I thought that the school would have brought this to their faculty's attention.  I guess that is up for me to let them know.  What if something sets off a meltdown and the teacher thinks he is misbehaving?  Anyone involved around Dane must know his condition.  That is the importance of the M-Team meeting.  Like an IEP but with all who is involved with Dane to bring it to their attention.