Wednesday, March 30, 2011

FAMILY COUNSELING

Let's face it.  Everyone has problems.  Throw in a child with special needs is like riding a bicycle up hill.  It makes it that much harder.  To make things easier for you, wouldn't you want to get off that bike and walk up it.  That's the way I think about it.

Some days are better than others.  Some are horrible.  Throw in a full days hard work and then taking care of kids is yet another full time job in itself.  Would you like just to sit down and relax for once?  I sure would.

Divorce is on the rise of parents with special needs children.  Taking care of my autistic son some days is no walk in the park.  Other days it seems like he is a normal boy smiling and playing with his little sister. 

They like to take turns on who is naughty.  When they are fighting over their toys there is no pleasing either one.  If they can't play nice, no one gets to play with that toy.  Then I'm the bad guy.  Why can't they get along when I am so exhausted after a long day?  That would be nice.

Time to get out.  Drop the kids off with the grandparents or the baby sitter.  Even a trip to the store without the children can take the edge off.  Life and marriage with children is stressful.  Take the time to get reconnected with your spouse.  Talk about you want from each other or go on a date.  Time off is a good thing.

Family counseling is going to be a part of my sons intensive therapy for his autism.  I did not like the idea at first but its worth saving my marriage and working out the kinks.  The best thing I think people can do with children is work out their differences.  For the children. 

I've seen the effects divorce does to children.  It messes with their heads.  One parent bashes the other.  I do not like that.  I do not want to be one of those fathers who just walks out.  Long story short. Work things out and think about your kids first.  Maybe family counseling is the right thing for you to save your family.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

No Hitting - Social Story


This is the social story I have to teach my autistic son not to hit his sister. I got this information from my son's Behavioral Therapist through the school system. I hope this is able to be printed and used by parents and educators to teach the child not to hit. I have meant to have this uploaded at an earlier post but my scanner was not working.

What is a social story? It is a simple picture story that helps use a visual way of teaching an autistic child how to do something or show how others feel. It consists of:

1. Descriptive sentences show information about specific social situations or settings. They provide what the person sees, who is involved, and what happens.

2. Perspective sentences describe the feelings, emotions, thoughts, and/or mood of others. This is the way a situation is viewed by someone else. Children with autism have difficulties understanding how others see things.

3. Directive sentences provide the autistic child with information about what they should try to do and be successful in that situation.

4. Control sentences provide the autistic child with how to control their emotions. In this case with my son. His anger and wanting to hit his sister.

I think the picture scanned will be able to take to full screen and zoomed for a better look and to be printed. Hope this helps for those who have been asking.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

WI Budget Repair Bill/Medicaid

Official Press Release
The Autism Society of Wisconsin: Sweeping shift of authority for setting Medicaid policy threatens Medicaid Programs, including autism services.....


Go to bottom link and read more. How many states will follow?

http://www.asw4autism.org/ASW%20Press%20Release%2002%2018%202011.pdf

Saturday, March 19, 2011

"DISCIPLINE"

My autistic son has a hard time dealing with his emotions.  They take over and run his life.  As a parent dealing with behavioral meltdowns it is complicated to not set off his temper.  When he has his mind set on something, like, going to the store with Grandpa, telling him "No" can trigger this emotion.  We try to explain that, "Grandpa will be right back!" doesn't help.  He can't deal with being left out for a few minutes.

This brings up his behavioral meltdown/tantrum.  His mind is over-loaded with sadness and heartache that he is left out.  Then comes anger.  He throws, stomps his feet, slaps the wall and slams the doors.

What do you do with a child who learn these life situations and can understand?  You use discipline.  Autistic or not, discipline has to be a used practice.  To not discipline the child for being naughty and not listening to you lets that child walk all over you.  Soon, you will not have any control over bad moments if they get away with bad behavior all the time.

Take something away like their favorite toy to teach them that they were bad.  When they are good they can have it back.  Think of a way to teach your child that they were doing something wrong and not listening to you.  Discipline has its key role to teach our children right from wrong.

My sons Behavioral Therapist through the school gave us a reward chart to use.  When he is good and does as he is told, he gets a smiley face sticker on the chart.  When his goal is not reached, he gets a sad face sticker.  When he sees more smiley faces on that chart it makes him feel that he is meeting his goals.  That also makes a parent happy to see your child doing what they are supposed to do.

With discipline comes rewards.  A child who maintains his self-discipline deserves something for his/her good work.  You have to let the child know that you are pleased with the results you are seeing.  Let the child choose their reward also.  Something like a small toy or to play at the park.  It doesn't have to be big, just something the child enjoys.  Giving the child a choice in their rewards makes them feel happy and in control. 

That is what discipline is about.  Taking something bad and making something good come out of it.  Like their behavior.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Daylight Savings Time

I am not a fan of this daylight savings time. Why can't they just set it back and then leave it?

I used to be excited about the falling back part. There, you gain an hour. By bed time now the kids should be getting ready for bed or if not already tired out from the day. That's the great thing about gaining that hour.

Now, we sprung forward and lost that hour. By bed time now the kids are wide awake because their into the routine of getting to bed by 8:30. But now the clock would have said 9:30 instead of 8:30.

Here we go again trying to wind our children down for the night and try and get them to bed at a favorable time. Come 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock I want these kids in bed.

I have to get up at 4:50 in the morning and get them out of bed with me and go to work. This is where I exchange vehicles with my wife and she brings the kids back home. Our time slots work out perfect right now where she works nights. She's done at 6 am. I get into the parking lot at 6. We exchange a few words and then I punch in at 6:15. Perfect, eliminating day care for now.

Come spring when the clocks change again, the routine kicker happens again. Finally it seems like they get to bed on time and then the clocks go forward or back. I guess no one can win this game of father time and his practical joke on working parents.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

"SOCIAL SKILLS"

I believe in having your child with autism to be around peers their own age to help with their social skills. Children learn from watching and imitating others around their social environments.

I have seen many improvements with my own son diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

He is in early childhood class, 4k. 2 days a week for 8 hours he is involved with normal childhood activities within his class and peers his own age. Monday and Wednesday are his classes. On Fridays he is involved in a more special education class with other students of learning disabilities.

On Fridays he has one on one therapy with a Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Behavioral Therapist, Psychologist, his teacher and a Musical Therapist. He has developed to socialize with other students a lot better than he did over the past school year.

2 days a week we have our children in childcare for 5 hours. Tuesdays and Thursdays. The daycare consists of the mothers own 4 children. They are aged from 7 down to 3. There are also several more boys and girls throughout the day that my son has social interaction with.

Watching these kids eat, play and get dressed has helped my son with autism learn abilities he should be doing in his own age group. Instead of playing off in the corner by himself, he has learned to interact more with these children.

Taking my son to the playground has had positive effects on his social skills. Children want to play tag with him but he didn't understand what to do. He was off in his own world putting wood chips down the slide. Either way, getting him around other kids still made him happy.

We choose to have as much social interaction with my sons autism. This is a most definite plus in learning what children do to socialize with one another. Set up play dates with other families. Take your child to the zoo and playground. Get them away from their autistic traits. Get them into the world and be a part of life. "The worst thing a parent can do is do nothing." Quoted by Temple Grandon.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

"EARLY INTERVENTION"

A parent knows when something is wrong with their child. You see things that the child should be doing but their not. Or, they were doing it but now it stopped. Whats going on here?

We took our son in to see his family doctor for a well-being check up. We told her about the weird things he was doing and that he stopped talking. She referred us to the Birth to Three program through our county. This was the start of my sons early intervention.

If we had not taken my son to the doctor, or, if the doctor didn't refer us to the early intervention, Birth to Three program, my family would be lost today. 2 days a week for 45 minutes a speech therapist and occupational therapist came to our house to study our son and give us advice.

Birth to Three early intervention ended when Dane turned 3 years old. After that, we had our son involved in school 1 day a week for 3 hours. This was to help get him into the routine of going to school and being around other children. Early intervention was the key to help with my sons social skills. This was before he was diagnosed with autism.

The school gave my wife an I a quiz to narrow down why my son is not meeting his peers activities. The school psychologist would narrow it down to where it was a possibility of autism. Eventually, we took him in to be screened for autism and he was diagnosed.

Without a diagnosis, our son would probably be not getting the treatment he needs. This gave us the opportunity to have him involved with specialists who are trained to help children with disabilities.

Currently my son sees an Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist, Musical Therapist, Behavioral Therapist and a school Psychologist. All these people play a very important role in helping my son develop his social skills, behavioral issues and how to do things more independently.

Without early intervention I would be lost with my son. Recognize there is a problem and do something about it before it is too late. The sooner the intervention, the better.