Diagnosis

Before my son was diagnosed with autism, I was making excuses that he wasn't autistic. I was in such denial. I was constantly searching for clues and taking online free quizzes about his development skills. Even the quizzes would result in, "Probably Autistic."

Still, seeing those words made me think, "No, that's not right."

I was searching up MMR vaccines with thirmersol or mercury causing symptoms of autism, early signs of autism, aspergers syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). I wanted specifics! "Tell me what I want to hear! My son is fine! He will outgrow these weird habits and start talking I know it!"

This may be why you are here reading this. You want to know the truth what is going on with your child. I know. I've been there. You know the truth but your thoughts are setting you back telling you that that's not possible. There is another explanation why my child is doing the things he or she is doing.

You talk to other parents what their child is doing or not doing. You compare you child to theirs. You want to know, "Is this normal?"

Deep down, you know something is wrong. You choose not to accept it like I did. You want to wait and see the results that everything is okay. Nothing to worry about, right?

You enroll your child in school. The teachers are seeing things your not. They also give you quizzes about what you see your child doing at home. You and your spouse take separate quizzes and then the school psychologist compares. You put in your comments. It boils down to where the school wants your child labeled. Finally, you get them screened. Diagnosis, Autism.

After that long day with the doctor, occupational therapist and speech therapist the results come in. The doctor says it appears your child has autism.

I took that news in trying not to choke up and held back. The doctor says not to give up hope. I knew this was gonna be the final result but I didn't think it was real.

After the facts were laid out, I also felt a sense of relief. Now, I know it's not all behavior problems. It's things inside that aren't connecting. We have to figure out a way to cope with this. He is our son and we love and accept him unconditionally.

I just hope I can break a barrier with you. Stop denying and get your child screened for autism. It may not be autism. Whatever it is you'll feel better knowing what it is and what you can do about it.

Summer School

Danes teacher thought it would be a good idea to have him enrolled in summer school. Even if the teacher didn't suggest this I was going to enroll him. This is to keep in into a routine and meet new teachers and students to help with his social skills and prepare him for kindergarten. This will also give him a chance to do things that he is more interested in.

Children on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD) don't take routine breaking easily. Life changes and new obstacles lay ahead. It is best to keep him in a active school environment, or extended before the following school year.

Next year, Dane will have a new teacher and possibly new students added to his classroom. He will have to adjust like any other student but it will take longer with his autism. We show him his class picture to get to know the faces of his classmates.

We are slowly working Dane into a 5 day full time school week. We started with 1 three hour day on Fridays when he was 4 years old. At 5 years old we bumped him up to 2 full days a week. On Friday, he has his special education with more one on one time with his Speech Therapist, Behavioral Therapist, Musical Therapist, Occupational Therapist and Psychologist. Friday is the most important day for him and it upsets me when school is called off or there is no school. That is the day that focuses entirely on his needs.

Since Dane has been enrolled in school, he has gained much more in his social skills. He is talking more and not echoing back as much as he once did. Some of his vowels sound like other letters and is hard to understand what he wants. He gets frustrated until we figure out what he wants. After he gets across to us what he wanted he is very relieved as are we.

Being around children his age has had such an advantage to helping him learn to be more independent. He now can get himself dressed with less help. Sometimes it takes a few commands to get him started. Hearing him start to ask questions is very exciting also. Learning is an entirely different story with those of a certain disability. It takes more patience and time. Early intervention was the best option.

No Hitting - Social Story

This is the social story I have to teach my autistic son not to hit his sister. I got this information from my son's Behavioral Therapist through the school system. I hope this is able to be printed and used by parents and educators to teach the child not to hit. I have meant to have this uploaded at an earlier post but my scanner was not working.

What is a social story? It is a simple picture story that helps use a visual way of teaching an autistic child how to do something or show how others feel. It consists of:

1. Descriptive sentences show information about specific social situations or settings. They provide what the person sees, who is involved, and what happens.

2. Perspective sentences describe the feelings, emotions, thoughts, and/or mood of others. This is the way a situation is viewed by someone else. Children with autism have difficulties understanding how others see things.

3. Directive sentences provide the autistic child with information about what they should try to do and be successful in that situation.

4. Control sentences provide the autistic child with how to control their emotions. In this case with my son. His anger and wanting to hit his sister.

I think the picture scanned will be able to take to full screen and zoomed for a better look and to be printed. Hope this helps for those who have been asking.

"DISCIPLINE"

My autistic son has a hard time dealing with his emotions.  They take over and run his life.  As a parent dealing with behavioral meltdowns it is complicated to not set off his temper.  When he has his mind set on something, like, going to the store with Grandpa, telling him "No" can trigger this emotion.  We try to explain that, "Grandpa will be right back!" doesn't help.  He can't deal with being left out for a few minutes.

This brings up his behavioral meltdown/tantrum.  His mind is over-loaded with sadness and heartache that he is left out.  Then comes anger.  He throws, stomps his feet, slaps the wall and slams the doors.

What do you do with a child who learn these life situations and can understand?  You use discipline.  Autistic or not, discipline has to be a used practice.  To not discipline the child for being naughty and not listening to you lets that child walk all over you.  Soon, you will not have any control over bad moments if they get away with bad behavior all the time.

Take something away like their favorite toy to teach them that they were bad.  When they are good they can have it back.  Think of a way to teach your child that they were doing something wrong and not listening to you.  Discipline has its key role to teach our children right from wrong.

My sons Behavioral Therapist through the school gave us a reward chart to use.  When he is good and does as he is told, he gets a smiley face sticker on the chart.  When his goal is not reached, he gets a sad face sticker.  When he sees more smiley faces on that chart it makes him feel that he is meeting his goals.  That also makes a parent happy to see your child doing what they are supposed to do.

With discipline comes rewards.  A child who maintains his self-discipline deserves something for his/her good work.  You have to let the child know that you are pleased with the results you are seeing.  Let the child choose their reward also.  Something like a small toy or to play at the park.  It doesn't have to be big, just something the child enjoys.  Giving the child a choice in their rewards makes them feel happy and in control. 

That is what discipline is about.  Taking something bad and making something good come out of it.  Like their behavior.

"SOCIAL SKILLS"

I believe in having your child with autism to be around peers their own age to help with their social skills. Children learn from watching and imitating others around their social environments.

I have seen many improvements with my own son diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

He is in early childhood class, 4k. 2 days a week for 8 hours he is involved with normal childhood activities within his class and peers his own age. Monday and Wednesday are his classes. On Fridays he is involved in a more special education class with other students of learning disabilities.

On Fridays he has one on one therapy with a Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Behavioral Therapist, Psychologist, his teacher and a Musical Therapist. He has developed to socialize with other students a lot better than he did over the past school year.

2 days a week we have our children in childcare for 5 hours. Tuesdays and Thursdays. The daycare consists of the mothers own 4 children. They are aged from 7 down to 3. There are also several more boys and girls throughout the day that my son has social interaction with.

Watching these kids eat, play and get dressed has helped my son with autism learn abilities he should be doing in his own age group. Instead of playing off in the corner by himself, he has learned to interact more with these children.

Taking my son to the playground has had positive effects on his social skills. Children want to play tag with him but he didn't understand what to do. He was off in his own world putting wood chips down the slide. Either way, getting him around other kids still made him happy.

We choose to have as much social interaction with my sons autism. This is a most definite plus in learning what children do to socialize with one another. Set up play dates with other families. Take your child to the zoo and playground. Get them away from their autistic traits. Get them into the world and be a part of life. "The worst thing a parent can do is do nothing." Quoted by Temple Grandon.

"EARLY INTERVENTION"

A parent knows when something is wrong with their child. You see things that the child should be doing but their not. Or, they were doing it but now it stopped. Whats going on here?

We took our son in to see his family doctor for a well-being check up. We told her about the weird things he was doing and that he stopped talking. She referred us to the Birth to Three program through our county. This was the start of my sons early intervention.

If we had not taken my son to the doctor, or, if the doctor didn't refer us to the early intervention, Birth to Three program, my family would be lost today. 2 days a week for 45 minutes a speech therapist and occupational therapist came to our house to study our son and give us advice.

Birth to Three early intervention ended when Dane turned 3 years old. After that, we had our son involved in school 1 day a week for 3 hours. This was to help get him into the routine of going to school and being around other children. Early intervention was the key to help with my sons social skills. This was before he was diagnosed with autism.

The school gave my wife an I a quiz to narrow down why my son is not meeting his peers activities. The school psychologist would narrow it down to where it was a possibility of autism. Eventually, we took him in to be screened for autism and he was diagnosed.

Without a diagnosis, our son would probably be not getting the treatment he needs. This gave us the opportunity to have him involved with specialists who are trained to help children with disabilities.

Currently my son sees an Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist, Musical Therapist, Behavioral Therapist and a school Psychologist. All these people play a very important role in helping my son develop his social skills, behavioral issues and how to do things more independently.

Without early intervention I would be lost with my son. Recognize there is a problem and do something about it before it is too late. The sooner the intervention, the better.

"SOCIAL STORIES"

Lately we have had problems with our autistic son hitting his little sister.  Danes behavioral therapist has given us a sheet with a social story on it.  This is a short and simple story with simple pictures that help him to understand why he should not hit others.  The story goes like this:

Sometimes I feel mad <shows angry picture>
I do not hit people <image of no hitting>
Hitting Hurts <image of no hitting and someone crying>
___________ does not like hitting <shows person and no hitting pictures>
I do not hit friends <no hitting picture plus people image>
I say, "I am mad." <shows mad picture with person cringing>

The social story is made up of four different types of sentences.

1.  Descriptive sentences show information about specific social situations or settings. They provide what the person sees, who is involved, and what happens.

2.  Perspective sentences describe the feelings, emotions, thoughts, and/or mood of others. This is the way a situation is viewed by someone else. Children with autism have difficulties understanding how others see things.

3.  Directive sentences provide the autistic child with information about what they should try to do and be successful in that situation.

4.  Control sentences provide the autistic child with how to control their emotions.  In this case with my son.  His anger and wanting to hit his sister.

This is the 3rd social story I have gotten from the school.  When you sit and talk with your child's teachers, let them know what they can do to help you. They will gladly help with any information they can give.