Diagnosis

Before my son was diagnosed with autism, I was making excuses that he wasn't autistic. I was in such denial. I was constantly searching for clues and taking online free quizzes about his development skills. Even the quizzes would result in, "Probably Autistic."

Still, seeing those words made me think, "No, that's not right."

I was searching up MMR vaccines with thirmersol or mercury causing symptoms of autism, early signs of autism, aspergers syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). I wanted specifics! "Tell me what I want to hear! My son is fine! He will outgrow these weird habits and start talking I know it!"

This may be why you are here reading this. You want to know the truth what is going on with your child. I know. I've been there. You know the truth but your thoughts are setting you back telling you that that's not possible. There is another explanation why my child is doing the things he or she is doing.

You talk to other parents what their child is doing or not doing. You compare you child to theirs. You want to know, "Is this normal?"

Deep down, you know something is wrong. You choose not to accept it like I did. You want to wait and see the results that everything is okay. Nothing to worry about, right?

You enroll your child in school. The teachers are seeing things your not. They also give you quizzes about what you see your child doing at home. You and your spouse take separate quizzes and then the school psychologist compares. You put in your comments. It boils down to where the school wants your child labeled. Finally, you get them screened. Diagnosis, Autism.

After that long day with the doctor, occupational therapist and speech therapist the results come in. The doctor says it appears your child has autism.

I took that news in trying not to choke up and held back. The doctor says not to give up hope. I knew this was gonna be the final result but I didn't think it was real.

After the facts were laid out, I also felt a sense of relief. Now, I know it's not all behavior problems. It's things inside that aren't connecting. We have to figure out a way to cope with this. He is our son and we love and accept him unconditionally.

I just hope I can break a barrier with you. Stop denying and get your child screened for autism. It may not be autism. Whatever it is you'll feel better knowing what it is and what you can do about it.

Chelation

When I first got the results that my son was diagnosed with autism, I wanted answers. What do I do now? Who do we go to? Can we do anything about this? Will my child grow out of it?

Thinking back within the last decade, I don't recall ever hearing much about autism. Now, since my son was diagnosed over a year ago, it seems like it's all I hear about. Billboard signs, radio ads, TV, magazine articles, etc. I guess someone who doesn't have kids pays attention to things like that. After kids and becoming parents the first time, you ask yourself, "Is this normal for my child?" You begin to talk with other parents and compare your kids. You need to know.

My sister talked of a woman who has two autistic children who were given something that the woman said, "Changed their children and seen a difference within a week." Could this be a treatment their not telling us? What is it?

Chelation treatment involves chemical removal of metals from the body. Some people say it can help and even cure autism. Chelation has been used for lead poisoning with successful results. The chemicals in the chelation bind to the metals and then are excreted from the body by urination.

Some people think that thimersol, a preservative, mercury based vaccine is responsible for causing autism. By disposing of the metal people hope to reverse the effects of autism caused by the mercury. There may be potential dangers of using chelation therapy and really no scientific research backing up if it is safe and effective. I'm not sure. If your curious about the subject I suggest you do more research.

There are no studies linking mercury to the development of autism or showing that children with autism had greater exposure to mercury than children who are unaffected from what I've read up on.  So, what causes autism?  Genetics being mutated or a link to vaccines?  Someday we will know more about it from studies being done.

I don't know what to think about this cleansing of metals to help autism cases. It's interesting to know that it's out there but I'd have to check into it more before I went through with it. My child's safety comes first over any treatment.

Summer School

Danes teacher thought it would be a good idea to have him enrolled in summer school. Even if the teacher didn't suggest this I was going to enroll him. This is to keep in into a routine and meet new teachers and students to help with his social skills and prepare him for kindergarten. This will also give him a chance to do things that he is more interested in.

Children on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD) don't take routine breaking easily. Life changes and new obstacles lay ahead. It is best to keep him in a active school environment, or extended before the following school year.

Next year, Dane will have a new teacher and possibly new students added to his classroom. He will have to adjust like any other student but it will take longer with his autism. We show him his class picture to get to know the faces of his classmates.

We are slowly working Dane into a 5 day full time school week. We started with 1 three hour day on Fridays when he was 4 years old. At 5 years old we bumped him up to 2 full days a week. On Friday, he has his special education with more one on one time with his Speech Therapist, Behavioral Therapist, Musical Therapist, Occupational Therapist and Psychologist. Friday is the most important day for him and it upsets me when school is called off or there is no school. That is the day that focuses entirely on his needs.

Since Dane has been enrolled in school, he has gained much more in his social skills. He is talking more and not echoing back as much as he once did. Some of his vowels sound like other letters and is hard to understand what he wants. He gets frustrated until we figure out what he wants. After he gets across to us what he wanted he is very relieved as are we.

Being around children his age has had such an advantage to helping him learn to be more independent. He now can get himself dressed with less help. Sometimes it takes a few commands to get him started. Hearing him start to ask questions is very exciting also. Learning is an entirely different story with those of a certain disability. It takes more patience and time. Early intervention was the best option.

Responsibility

We have taken on 2 guinea pigs to help with our children to learn responsibility. I make it my son's duty to water them. I make him check the water level every day and when it's close to empty, I make him fill it.  Soon, he will do it himself when he sets his routine.

When the bedding and food need to be filled and changed I have him hold the garbage bag when I empty. This makes him feel like he is needed and helping out.

It took him until past the age of 5 to finally dress himself. He will ask all the time if his shirt, pants, shoes and underwear are backwards. When I tell him "no" he tries to put on his clothes. He still needs help from time to time. Part of his autism always wants to know if he is doing things right.

Learning to take on responsibility for ones self is an important part of life. Occupational Therapy seems to be helping with that aspect of learning. Having a son on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD) I feel like I need to take on more chores to have him watch and learn from me.

When I put dishes away, I try to encourage him to help out. He usually wants to take out all the saucer lids and spin them or spin the sprayer inside the dishwasher. I want to break him of those autistic routines. It's okay to let him do it for a little bit but then it's time to stop. To let him do things like that and get away with it, that's all he would want to do.

Laundry time I let him put in the dirty clothes in the washer. Letting him take out the dry clothes also teaches him responsibility.  He still throws a tantrum if he doesn't start the dryer.  To avoid a meltdown and get away from the drama I let him start it.  He needs autism services to help brake these routines.

Picking up his toys also. We needed to use a picture schedule with this showing him what he needed to do. A picture schedule was needed for him to dress himself, bath time and bed time. He needed to see how these routines were needed to take on responsibility for himself.

We finally have been able to get Dane to sleep all night in his own bed.  For some reason he has to have the guinea pigs next to his bed.  He also needs a fuzzy warm blanket to swaddle himself in.  I think the blanket reminds him of Grandpa's house because they have the same blanket.

Children are fast learners. When you have a child with special needs it takes more time to teach them what they need to know. Eventually, they will have to do things for themselves. That's just how it is and that's the way it's going to be. I can't be around to wait on my son hand and foot every day because he has autism. He needs to learn to do things for himself.

Over Tired

The over tired mind of my son sets him into overdrive. It is complicated for him and for me to get him to rest. This is not only for nap time. Most days, there is no nap. By bed time he is really tired.  One would think that being up all day would be no trouble at night going to bed.

With darkened eye lids and a screaming chuckle I know he is tired. He is running around the house and not stopping unless it's for water. Then he runs and laughs more. Hopefully his sister stays clear from him or he will hit her thinking it's part of the game.

His little sister thinks this is a game and joins in the fun. For me, it's trying to unwind him to get him ready for bed. Trying to separate the two so one can rest is a quite a task at hand. I literally have to let him run until he runs out of energy. I wish to stop this and settle him down. How to go about this?

I turn off the television, dim the lights and read them a book. Rocking them in my chair usually will help settle his nervous system. He calms down with the sound of my voice and having a blanket tightly wrapped around him. This goes well, unless, his sister and him start to push away at each other.  They fight over me all the time.  Giving them individual attention at this age while my wife and I work opposite shifts can't be done unless one falls asleep.

I would like to try and keep a set routine for bed time. Sometimes that routine gets broken mostly because I am over worked and very tired from my day job. This is when I let the t.v. on a cartoon that is turned down low for my daughter. She will lay on the couch and watch Yo Gabba Gabba, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Little Bear or Wubbzy. This gives me a little one on one with my son to help get him to sleep.

He does not like to lay down by himself. He needs me to lay by him until he falls asleep. Then I sneak away and get his sister ready for bed.  Usually she isn't very hard to get to sleep on her own.  Some nights I end up playing musical chairs with our bedrooms trying to keep Dane asleep in his own bed.  He wakes up a lot during the night.  I think he sleep walks.  I get out of my bed and lay back by his side to get him to sleep.  I want this routine broken.  He is old enough where he needs to sleep in his own bed.

Our family doctor recommended melatonin, a natural vitamin, to help with his sleeplessness. 3 milligrams 1/2 hour before bedtime. It helps to release serotonin in the brain and helps him get sleepy. I have seen some positive effects of this. It does help unwind him and get him ready faster for bed time.  He still seems to wake up during the night several times.

My wife and I work opposite shifts and hardly see each other. I know she is going though tough times dealing with the kids when I am not around. Then we switch. She goes to sleep and I get to raise them. It's like were two single parents.

"MIRRORING"

Mirroring is a term used when a person copies another while in a social interaction.  This includes body language, tones of voice, gestures, attitude and other aspects of communication.  My daughter has taken on some of these mirroring situations.  She copy's gestures and attitude of my sons autistic traits.

This is hard to deal with when I am teaching my son not to do something.  I have to show him something like a social story to explain why he shouldn't do that, like hit his sister.  My daughter understands why she should not do something wrong.  Since my son has a harder time to understand these situations, my daughter thinks it is okay to keep wrong doing.  She thinks, if he can do that so can I.

What really grinds my gears is when one tells the other to do something they know is wrong.  They think that by telling the other that they won't get into trouble because the other one did it.  That's actually smart thinking but they are both in trouble.

Some days I have to lock myself in the bathroom to shave or shower and I can hear both kids outside the door telling one another to "Kick the door."  I have real trouble getting away for just a couple minutes to get something done myself.  They are always fighting over me.

We used to have this really loud flushing toilet.  When Dane was very little he would scream, even in a dead sleep it would wake him, and come to the bathroom door and do a bicycle kick.  He has kicked doors so hard that he broke the trim off one of them.  This was way before he was diagnosed with autism and we didn't know what to think.  He taught his sister how to do this.  I am in the bathroom and they are outside kicking it down.

We changed the toilet a while later.  I sort of broke the insides trying to fix the loud noise.  I was trying to make it quieter by replacing the insides of the old tank. I guess it was a blessing because our new toilet uses a lot less water and Dane doesn't freak out over the sound of the flush he once did.  Sometimes he misses out on flushing it and throws a tantrum trying to flush it over and over while the tank is refilling.  I wish he could understand that some things he misses out on and other things he is too little to do himself.  Either way, he needs to control his emotions and get over something he wasn't involved in.  He needs to understand that is the way life is.  Sometimes you can do it, sometimes you can't.  Get over it already and move on.

Paying Attention in Class

My son used to always have a matchbox car with him when he went to school. It helped him focus and pay attention during class. While the teacher was doing her scheduled class, Dane would take out his matchbox car and spin the wheels.

We had a discussion about this at Danes Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting . His teacher said that having the little car was no trouble in class as long as he is paying attention and not playing with it.

To make sure he was paying attention and not spacing off was she would kneel down after she had her classroom talk and ask him what she was talking about. At this age he's learning mostly colors, numbers and letters in early education. He would tell her the letter she was talking about. Even though he wasn't watching her, he was listening intently. Spinning the wheels is his way of focusing on her words.

During nap-time, Dane would lay down and take out his car and spin the wheels while the other children napped. His mind is so over active that it is hard for him to relax and close his eyes.

From matchbox cars to pennies.  Dane needs exactly 3 pennies in his pocket before he goes to school. He doesn't take them out of his pocket like the matchbox car. Every so often he takes his hand and pats his pocket to hear them clink against each other. He still doesn't make much eye contact with his teacher but he is still focusing by patting his pocket. In time I am guessing he will get sick of the pennies and advert to something else.

An autistic child receives information differently then the normal mind. By looking like their not paying attention and listening to you, they are, in a different way. My son doesn't always understand what were saying to him. Showing him pictures and speaking slow has helped him understand better. As his brain grows I think he will be able to process information faster and not always need several explanations to explain something.

"RESEARCHING EARLY AUTISM"

Sitting at my parents house I couldn't help notice their World Book Encyclopedias. Copyright 1975. More than a little outdated. I grab the A version and flip to the meaning of Autism. I didn't expect to find it but for sure it was in there. This is what I found.

An American psychiatrist named Leo Kanner first identified autism in 1943. He believed it to be an inborn disorder of body chemistry. Researchers had discovered abnormal amounts of chemicals in blood and urine of autistic children. Some experts at the time believed that autism was caused by child-rearing practices of the mother. Today, we know that is untrue.

In 1975, 1 child in 30,000 had symptoms of autism. The most noticeable was a strange, vacant stare. About 75 percent of autistic children were male. What happened since then that cases of autism skyrocketed to about 1 in every 110 children? 1 in 70 for boys.

Symptoms displayed at this time were unresponsiveness, detachment, insistence on sameness and gracefulness. Those still are present signs today to help identify the disorder in small children.

I also found out tonight that 1 in 80 people with autism are in the military. What's up with that?

Autism can't be cured but it can be treated. We still love our children unconditionally and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. We have to learn to live with how they grow into our world and except them because they are our children. We want the best for them. The best therapy and safety. We want them to grow up and make us proud. We have to stay by their side and help guide them in the right direction. This is our job as parents.

FAMILY COUNSELING

Let's face it.  Everyone has problems.  Throw in a child with special needs is like riding a bicycle up hill.  It makes it that much harder.  To make things easier for you, wouldn't you want to get off that bike and walk up it.  That's the way I think about it.

Some days are better than others.  Some are horrible.  Throw in a full days hard work and then taking care of kids is yet another full time job in itself.  Would you like just to sit down and relax for once?  I sure would.

Divorce is on the rise of parents with special needs children.  Taking care of my autistic son some days is no walk in the park.  Other days it seems like he is a normal boy smiling and playing with his little sister. 

They like to take turns on who is naughty.  When they are fighting over their toys there is no pleasing either one.  If they can't play nice, no one gets to play with that toy.  Then I'm the bad guy.  Why can't they get along when I am so exhausted after a long day?  That would be nice.

Time to get out.  Drop the kids off with the grandparents or the baby sitter.  Even a trip to the store without the children can take the edge off.  Life and marriage with children is stressful.  Take the time to get reconnected with your spouse.  Talk about you want from each other or go on a date.  Time off is a good thing.

Family counseling is going to be a part of my sons intensive therapy for his autism.  I did not like the idea at first but its worth saving my marriage and working out the kinks.  The best thing I think people can do with children is work out their differences.  For the children. 

I've seen the effects divorce does to children.  It messes with their heads.  One parent bashes the other.  I do not like that.  I do not want to be one of those fathers who just walks out.  Long story short. Work things out and think about your kids first.  Maybe family counseling is the right thing for you to save your family.

"DISCIPLINE"

My autistic son has a hard time dealing with his emotions.  They take over and run his life.  As a parent dealing with behavioral meltdowns it is complicated to not set off his temper.  When he has his mind set on something, like, going to the store with Grandpa, telling him "No" can trigger this emotion.  We try to explain that, "Grandpa will be right back!" doesn't help.  He can't deal with being left out for a few minutes.

This brings up his behavioral meltdown/tantrum.  His mind is over-loaded with sadness and heartache that he is left out.  Then comes anger.  He throws, stomps his feet, slaps the wall and slams the doors.

What do you do with a child who learn these life situations and can understand?  You use discipline.  Autistic or not, discipline has to be a used practice.  To not discipline the child for being naughty and not listening to you lets that child walk all over you.  Soon, you will not have any control over bad moments if they get away with bad behavior all the time.

Take something away like their favorite toy to teach them that they were bad.  When they are good they can have it back.  Think of a way to teach your child that they were doing something wrong and not listening to you.  Discipline has its key role to teach our children right from wrong.

My sons Behavioral Therapist through the school gave us a reward chart to use.  When he is good and does as he is told, he gets a smiley face sticker on the chart.  When his goal is not reached, he gets a sad face sticker.  When he sees more smiley faces on that chart it makes him feel that he is meeting his goals.  That also makes a parent happy to see your child doing what they are supposed to do.

With discipline comes rewards.  A child who maintains his self-discipline deserves something for his/her good work.  You have to let the child know that you are pleased with the results you are seeing.  Let the child choose their reward also.  Something like a small toy or to play at the park.  It doesn't have to be big, just something the child enjoys.  Giving the child a choice in their rewards makes them feel happy and in control. 

That is what discipline is about.  Taking something bad and making something good come out of it.  Like their behavior.

"SOCIAL SKILLS"

I believe in having your child with autism to be around peers their own age to help with their social skills. Children learn from watching and imitating others around their social environments.

I have seen many improvements with my own son diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

He is in early childhood class, 4k. 2 days a week for 8 hours he is involved with normal childhood activities within his class and peers his own age. Monday and Wednesday are his classes. On Fridays he is involved in a more special education class with other students of learning disabilities.

On Fridays he has one on one therapy with a Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Behavioral Therapist, Psychologist, his teacher and a Musical Therapist. He has developed to socialize with other students a lot better than he did over the past school year.

2 days a week we have our children in childcare for 5 hours. Tuesdays and Thursdays. The daycare consists of the mothers own 4 children. They are aged from 7 down to 3. There are also several more boys and girls throughout the day that my son has social interaction with.

Watching these kids eat, play and get dressed has helped my son with autism learn abilities he should be doing in his own age group. Instead of playing off in the corner by himself, he has learned to interact more with these children.

Taking my son to the playground has had positive effects on his social skills. Children want to play tag with him but he didn't understand what to do. He was off in his own world putting wood chips down the slide. Either way, getting him around other kids still made him happy.

We choose to have as much social interaction with my sons autism. This is a most definite plus in learning what children do to socialize with one another. Set up play dates with other families. Take your child to the zoo and playground. Get them away from their autistic traits. Get them into the world and be a part of life. "The worst thing a parent can do is do nothing." Quoted by Temple Grandon.

"EARLY INTERVENTION"

A parent knows when something is wrong with their child. You see things that the child should be doing but their not. Or, they were doing it but now it stopped. Whats going on here?

We took our son in to see his family doctor for a well-being check up. We told her about the weird things he was doing and that he stopped talking. She referred us to the Birth to Three program through our county. This was the start of my sons early intervention.

If we had not taken my son to the doctor, or, if the doctor didn't refer us to the early intervention, Birth to Three program, my family would be lost today. 2 days a week for 45 minutes a speech therapist and occupational therapist came to our house to study our son and give us advice.

Birth to Three early intervention ended when Dane turned 3 years old. After that, we had our son involved in school 1 day a week for 3 hours. This was to help get him into the routine of going to school and being around other children. Early intervention was the key to help with my sons social skills. This was before he was diagnosed with autism.

The school gave my wife an I a quiz to narrow down why my son is not meeting his peers activities. The school psychologist would narrow it down to where it was a possibility of autism. Eventually, we took him in to be screened for autism and he was diagnosed.

Without a diagnosis, our son would probably be not getting the treatment he needs. This gave us the opportunity to have him involved with specialists who are trained to help children with disabilities.

Currently my son sees an Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist, Musical Therapist, Behavioral Therapist and a school Psychologist. All these people play a very important role in helping my son develop his social skills, behavioral issues and how to do things more independently.

Without early intervention I would be lost with my son. Recognize there is a problem and do something about it before it is too late. The sooner the intervention, the better.

New Teacher

Today, my sons early education teacher found another teaching job closer to her home. She left without warning and didn't say goodbye to her class. My son took this quite hard. This is a break in his routine and now what he knows so well has suddenly changed.

His new teacher seems very nice. She also has experience dealing with special needs children and those especially on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD). In time, my son will learn to grow close to her as well as he did his last teacher.

This is a shock to my wife and I how his teacher left the way she did. I am sure she has her own reasons. Maybe she wanted to make a clean break and hold back her emotions? Maybe with this government bill with the teachers union she was afraid of a pink slip? I know she loved her class very much. My son adored her. She was a very good teacher and I will miss her and so will her students.

We have my sons class picture hanging up on the tack board with his old teacher on it. We told him that he can still look at her picture to remember her when he wants. We are still trying to figure out how to explain why she left. All we can tell him now is that he has a new teacher and that she will be good to him like the other teacher.

I hope he will deal with this issue. This is a big change that happened so fast. If I feel shocked and awed by this, how can he feel? Routines are very hard to break with a child of autism. I've dealt with small things such as toys. But a person who has brought him so much inspiration and admiration? That has to be a greater heart ache than moving one of his toy cars out of alignment.

"SENSORY STIMULATION"

Sensory stimulation is a vital role of sending information to the brain of the autistic child to help settle their nervous system. It is important to have sensory breaks to help the child be alert and focus on learning.

Sensory issues can involve how the child sees, hears, smells and how their bodies react to their environment. This can result in the child's mind as conflict, bringing overwhelming sensory information the brain cannot process. The child could appear fearful or clumsy. The textures of what they touch may irritate their skin and make them feel uncomfortable.

Spinning on a sit and spin, jumping on a trampoline, brushing the arms, deep pressure massage, being pressed between bean bag chairs, swaddling, squeezing stress balls and being covered with a weighted blanket are some examples used for a sensory break. Sensory techniques like these help increase alertness.

My son has to start his school day in his classroom and slowly be emerged in the lunchroom where all the other children start their mornings. Eating breakfast. To start him off in the cafe with all the loud children and smell of food sets off sensory over-load. To walk him into it helps his brain prepare for whats coming.

Our sons teachers send him off on sensory breaks about every two hours. Taking this time off from the classroom to help settle his nervous system. Sensory integration helps him come back and focus on learning with the other children.

With my son, when he goes into sensory over-load it's like he is full of energy. His body gets jittery. He clenches his fists. He makes moaning noises and bangs his head on me. He can't sit still. How can he sit and focus at school if he would act like that? He wouldn't be able to if he wasn't getting the sensory breaks.

I think the most effective sensory stimulation involves the playground. This is where they can run, jump, swing, slide and just be a child at play. It will also give you the chance to sit back and watch your special child enjoy being young and stimulate his/her brain to all the sensory needs that need to be filled.

"OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY"

An Occupational Therapist is someone who promotes health by enabling people with disabilities to perform meaningful occupations with daily purpose.  Occupation not only means "work related."  This is the active process of taking care of ourselves and others, doing every day routines, and being socially and economically productive throughout our lives.

With Occupational Therapy, the therapist helps the disabled person learn how to do things to enhance their skills to get involved with their surroundings.  This is the use of physical, environmental, psychosocial, mental, spiritual, political and cultural factors to identify things that disrupt their abilities.

While in therapy, the therapist will observe how well the child performs tasks and how they act when participating in age-appropriate activities or situations.  Within their observations, the therapist will know what aspects of the disability to work on with the child.

My son right now has seen 2 of these occupational therapists dealing with his autism.  I think there will be more to come.  One of these therapists work with him at school. He is doing well learning new abilities to be accepted in a social environment.  It is very important that he learns how to deal with life situations and be able to act responsibly for his actions.

The main goal of Occupational Therapy is to increase the individuals function and independence of life.  We are very lucky to have people trained in these areas to help parents learn more what we can do to overcome stressful situations.  They will teach you how to handle sensory meltdowns and give you advice on other topics troubling you.  All you have to do is ask.

"EMOTIONS"

I try my best to keep my son with ASD happy.  Some times it is virtually impossible.  The slightest thing sets him off.  Tonight it was a straw to drink his milk.

It all started when his sister was drinking her milk.  Naturally, he woke up from his nap and wanted milk also.  I get him a glass of milk.  That's not good enough. He wants a straw to drink with.  I try and explain that we are out of straws.  This started off his temper.  Now, to regain control over the situation.

He's sitting in my leather rocker recliner and starts rocking hard.  Then, he goes and tips over his toys.  He grabs other objects and gets ready to throw.  He stomps his feet around the house.  What do I do?  Is this part of his autism or behavior?

I try and pick him up to give him a hug to settle him down.  I tell him it's alright that we will have to get more straws.  He's still really upset.

This goes on for a while.  It seems like it will never end.  When you least expect it, it's over.  He's done with his tantrum.  Wiping away tears from his eyes and taking deep breaths. 

Parenting an autistic child you have to call the signs of a meltdown.  One like this will strike out of no where.  Remain calm. You have to try and control your temper as well.  The child will feed off that emotion and things will get worse.  Bite your lip and take a deep breath. We will get through another day.  One day at a time.  You have to have bad days to appreciate the good ones.

IN SIMPLE TERMS

How do you explain to a visual thinker on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD) everything?  Long story short basically.  When it comes to a long explanation, narrow it down.  Then, narrow it down further.  Than it becomes, just because.

When the explanation is in progress of leaving your lips every word is blah blah blah.  Except the words that they can visualize.  Take for instance when you tell a visual thinker, "It's raining cats and dogs."  That person will actually visualize cats and dogs falling from the sky.

With all the pun in the english language, one thing can mean another.  Instead of telling the child about raining cats and dogs, they need to hear that it's raining hard outside.  That they can understand.

You can actually see the confusion on their faces while you explain.  Their minds are trying to piece that jigsaw puzzle together starting with the border.  After that, pieces start falling into place.  The more they hear and pictures to show, sentences become clearer.

Over time the more they picture words the easier it will become for my son to understand.  It's a matter of how fast the words can be processed visually in his mind.  For now, repeating sentences and shortening them up is helping him to learn faster.  It helps him pick out the words he knows so he can visualize what I'm saying.

"KEY SYMPTOMS OF ASD"

I have been telling so far my experience with my sons autism.  The red flags, his signs of the autism spectrum disorder.  No two children on the spectrum are alike.  The spectrum can range from mild to very severe.

I have been studying on this topic going over  4 years.  Every time there is a new idea about treatment, I have to watch or read that article.  I want to know and understand what other parents, like myself, go through to teach and handle their child with autism.  How to handle their sensory overloads.  How to advert their attention away from their autistic traits.  How to be more social.

As a new parent, you see your child as flawless.  As baby's they are so beautiful and fragile.  You want nothing other than the best care and security for them.  As they grow and you see that child roll over for the first time, it brings tears of joy to your eyes.  Then you see them take their first steps.  You hear their first words.  But then all of a sudden, they stop talking.  What's that about?  Does it make you think, or do you just go on to wait and hope it comes back?

These are more of the key symptoms of autism in infants:

No joyful expressions or big smiles by 6 months

No sharing of sounds or facial expressions by 9 months

No baby babbling by 12 months

No showing of gestures such as pointing, waving, showing or reaching by 12 months

No 2 word meaningful sentences by 24 months (by not repeating)

Loss of speech, babbling or social skills at any age

I never understood how a child younger then the age of 2 could be diagnosed.  The professionals know and can spot the signs as clear as you can read these words. 

I waited to see if my sons routines would break themselves.  That his speech would return and we could understand him.  That his sensory overloads were just behavior that would change in time.  I regret the wait.  I should have taken him in to get him screened sooner.

EARLY SIGNS OF AUTISM AND MY DENIAL

We were involved in a program called Birth To Three when Dane was 2 and a half.  The county got us on this program because we let our family doctor know we were having troubles getting Dane to talk.  The most he could do to communicate at the time was whine and cry while pointing.  The trouble was: What is he pointing at?  What does he want?  The doctor made the call and referred us.  If she had not I don't know where we would have started.

Christmas 2007 Dane received a toy dump truck for a present.  The first and only thing he did was flip it over and spin the wheels.  The same went for a toy wagon we had.  You could put blocks in this wheel in the center and music would play.  He would spin that wheel so fast sometimes he would get his fingers pinched.  Anything that could spin, Dane would spin it.  He would sit and examine what kinds of spins were resulting in.  This came to saucers and spoons as well.  Nothing else mattered.

I taught him how the light switch worked when he was little.  It wasn't long until he had to always flip switches.  Cries of anger and tantrums broke out unless he could turn the light on and off before leaving the room.  We would visit friends and family and he would search the house for switches and flip every one.  That was his main concern.  Everyone in the room did not exist to him.

Many of these routines were going on.  He started lining up blocks and matchbox cars.  If you moved one out of line, you broke his routine.  He threw a fit.  Still, I did not know what was going on.  "This is all part of being a kid.  He will outgrow these weird routines."  So I thought.

My denial seeing certain signs of autism and still not wanting to think anything was wrong.  Birth to Three would use the term; (Red Flags).  The doctor said it's a possibility of autism.

I was seeing billboards that had a young girl on it that said. "Autism Speaks.  1 out of 100 children are diagnosed with autism every day!"  I would look at that billboard everyday for a year before turning on the road to go to my house.  Still, I would shake my head and say, "No, that's not my son.  He's fine."  Funny how life was telling me but I just looked away.  After he was tested, that sign turned into an Army sign.  Just that fast.  Strange?

If I could turn back the clock 1 year sooner to have him tested I would.  It is a very long wait and have your child in line for testing.  We had it set up the first time.  They said it was a long wait.  Over a year. One week later they called and said they had an opening.  I couldn't believe this.  "Yeah, long wait.  We can get him in next week?  This is some ploy to scare us into getting him tested.  The hospital just wants our money!"  We let it go.  We were seeing improvements with Dane.

Time went by and he regressed.  This is after my daughter Allyson was born.  "He wants to be the baby."  I thought.  Still denying anything wrong.

When Dane started school, the teachers recommend we have him tested.  That was the final moment for me to make my mind known that there are symptoms of autism.  "We have to get him tested."  We made the call.

Again the hospital said.  "It's a long list."  History repeated itself and we were luckily able to get him tested.  This still boggles my mind.  If there is such a long list of those to be tested, how were we lucky enough to get in within a couple weeks!  Is that the scare tactic to get your child tested?  Or, was it fate that helped us?

I just hope that if you have concerns over your child to not wait and see.  This took a year off of early intervention and therapy that could have helped my son.  Do not make the same mistake I did.  Get your child tested ASAP!

"INTENSIVE THERAPY"

Today was to be the first of many intensive 3 hour treatments for my sons autism.  We are expected to go 2 days a week.  We were advised to get around 40 hours in home treatment for intensive therapy.  That would complicate things further we thought.  Not to mention they canceled his 1st appointment today.  That was disappointing because I could have went with to meet the doctors and what they will do.  The other times, I will be at work and miss out.

My wife and I work opposite shifts.  We are practically 2 single parents raising our 2 children.  We want to get top of the line specialists who know how to treat this.  During these sessions he will see 4 different doctors who will work with different types of his social disorders.

We want to eliminate his sensory meltdowns.  We want to break his routines without him getting so upset.  He is very heartbroken over almost everything.  The phone rings.  I start talking.  He will stand there and cry until he says hello on the phone.  No matter who is on the other line.  After he says hello, bingo, all better.

When I do laundry, he will be upstairs playing.  As soon as I push the dryer button to start he runs downstairs and throws a fit.  "Push start!  Let me do it!"  He tantrums just over the push of a button.  This goes for starting the microwave and making toast.  It's alright if he is there and I will let him do it.  I should not have to go out of my way to get him just to push the button to advert a tantrum.

People look at him and see nothing wrong.  He is a beautiful, sweet boy.  They just don't see what it is like all day dealing with keeping him happy.  He is very smart and he likes to sing along to music.  He likes Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber.

Autism is known as the silent disease.  On the outside, the person looks normal.  On the inside, however, their brain is wired completely different.  They see the world in a whole different way.  This is why as parents we need to spread Autism Awareness.  1 in 100 children are diagnosed every day.  It may affect you or someone you know.