Danes therapist that he sees 3 hours twice a week has noticed that Dane can recognize emotions and facial expressions. That is only when someone is really sad and crying. Happy and laughing. Angry and yelling. Only when it is to the extreme emotion that Dane understands what the other is feeling. She will be working with him more on this to make him understand emotions more clearly. There is no in-between with emotions that Dane can relate to. If I say to him with a stern voice, he cannot understand that I am getting upset. If I turn that into yelling, he will understand that I am getting mad. That goes for happy and not laughing and sad without crying. He cannot read between the lines on how people feel.
Dane needs to work hard on his fine motor skills. When the therapist worked with him on writing his name, the longer they worked at it the better he got. After they switched around to play therapy and then back to writing his name it was back to where he started. He has troubles doing a tripod grasp around a crayon. His teachers would break his crayons in half to help teach him the proper way to write. He also lacks control when coloring. By now, he should be able to stay in the lines when coloring a picture. He scribbles all over with no control. Also, his darker and harder pressed scribbles are turning into light strokes that are barely visible.
Dane knows and can recognize the letters of the alphabet. When he writes his name, it is not horizontal. The therapist hopes to have this corrected because he is now in Kindergarten. The letters seem to be all over with no control.
This is my online diary about my son diagnosed with autism at age 2. His progress and regressions. His behavior and his sensory overloads. Therapy and picture schedules. Drama and humor to figure out how his mind works.
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Emotional Behavior
Behavior. What set's it off? Sometimes something as little as shutting off the kitchen sink. Dane will have to turn the water on then off or he will have a meltdown. He has been getting better with his intensive 3 hour therapy sessions two days a week.
Over the weekend we had a cookout at my parents. We were looking at how bad my dads shingles are on his roof over his house. 45 years old those shingles are and now dad is considering putting a steel roof on. The shingles on the garage that my brother and I helped roof less then 8 years ago look like crap. Most of them are curling up already? Everything is made so cheap. Those shingles had a 30 year warranty I thought? Dad says shingles these days your lucky to get 15 years use.
The neighbor down the road stopped in on his 4 wheeler. He told dad about his steel roof that he put on and wanted to show him. He wanted dad to jump on the wheeler and take him down the road. Dad didn't want to go but my brother and I told him to go.
Dane didn't see that Grandpa left on the 4 wheeler and then seen him down the road. He got really upset. He stood on the edge of the driveway crying until Grandpa got back. After he came back, in the neighbors truck, Dane stormed off because the 4 wheeler didn't come back. He wanted to go for a ride. He stormed off down the road and I had to run to catch him. He stayed on side because I have really been pushing him to stay on the side of the road. I never let him close to the road unless I am with him. I don't know if he'd just walk out into traffic. Eventually I got him turned around to walk back to the house with me.
Later that evening then neighbor came back on his 4 wheeler and I got to give Dane a ride. I took him down the road to their farm. We looked at the cows and turned around. I knew the whole while he was thinking about riding it. I think that made him happy for the rest of the night.
Over the weekend we had a cookout at my parents. We were looking at how bad my dads shingles are on his roof over his house. 45 years old those shingles are and now dad is considering putting a steel roof on. The shingles on the garage that my brother and I helped roof less then 8 years ago look like crap. Most of them are curling up already? Everything is made so cheap. Those shingles had a 30 year warranty I thought? Dad says shingles these days your lucky to get 15 years use.
The neighbor down the road stopped in on his 4 wheeler. He told dad about his steel roof that he put on and wanted to show him. He wanted dad to jump on the wheeler and take him down the road. Dad didn't want to go but my brother and I told him to go.
Dane didn't see that Grandpa left on the 4 wheeler and then seen him down the road. He got really upset. He stood on the edge of the driveway crying until Grandpa got back. After he came back, in the neighbors truck, Dane stormed off because the 4 wheeler didn't come back. He wanted to go for a ride. He stormed off down the road and I had to run to catch him. He stayed on side because I have really been pushing him to stay on the side of the road. I never let him close to the road unless I am with him. I don't know if he'd just walk out into traffic. Eventually I got him turned around to walk back to the house with me.
Later that evening then neighbor came back on his 4 wheeler and I got to give Dane a ride. I took him down the road to their farm. We looked at the cows and turned around. I knew the whole while he was thinking about riding it. I think that made him happy for the rest of the night.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
No Easy Explanation
I feel that you really need to tell an autistic child several times about something before it happens. I try to tell my son about leaving for work and he goes through a range of emotions.
He will ask, "I come to?" To tell him that he can't go gets him really sad. He cries and walks away. A while later we will tell him again that I have to leave and that I will be back later. This time he will get angry and stomp his feet and storms off crying.
This happened again at his grandparents house. Grandma was having a dinner award for her 40 years in the factory. Grandpa had to go with, and why not, it's a free meal. Telling him that Grandpa has to leave and he can't go set him off. Sadness, anger, agitation. It's very overwhelming. It leaves me stressed trying to make him understand that he will be back. Some things he just can't do with us or his grandparents.
The time came when Grandpa was leaving for the dinner party. He didn't take it so hard at the final moments of his leaving. What a relief. I thought he would go into a tantrum and we would have to deal with that for the next hour. Maybe it was worth telling him 5 times prior leaving to not deal with him screaming. I could have dealt without the tantrums the other 4 times however.
With therapy and hope, he will eventually be able to control his emotions from what his therapists tell me. Autism is not cured but it is treated. It is not easy dealing with situations that you have no control over. Once control is regained, the bitter sweetness of happy children who we love is upon us until the next fight or meltdown. Enjoy it while you can. With fingers crossed, it will get better with each passing day.
He will ask, "I come to?" To tell him that he can't go gets him really sad. He cries and walks away. A while later we will tell him again that I have to leave and that I will be back later. This time he will get angry and stomp his feet and storms off crying.
This happened again at his grandparents house. Grandma was having a dinner award for her 40 years in the factory. Grandpa had to go with, and why not, it's a free meal. Telling him that Grandpa has to leave and he can't go set him off. Sadness, anger, agitation. It's very overwhelming. It leaves me stressed trying to make him understand that he will be back. Some things he just can't do with us or his grandparents.
The time came when Grandpa was leaving for the dinner party. He didn't take it so hard at the final moments of his leaving. What a relief. I thought he would go into a tantrum and we would have to deal with that for the next hour. Maybe it was worth telling him 5 times prior leaving to not deal with him screaming. I could have dealt without the tantrums the other 4 times however.
With therapy and hope, he will eventually be able to control his emotions from what his therapists tell me. Autism is not cured but it is treated. It is not easy dealing with situations that you have no control over. Once control is regained, the bitter sweetness of happy children who we love is upon us until the next fight or meltdown. Enjoy it while you can. With fingers crossed, it will get better with each passing day.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
water, left out & noises
It really heated up this week. Yesterday and today reached a high of 96 degrees. For the rest of the week we're back into the mid 60's. It will probably storm with this cold front moving in. It was so hot in the house I had to set up a sleeping area in our basement so we could all sleep. I'd run our air conditioner but our electric bill goes way up. I switched over to box fans for our windows but from what happened last summer the bill was no different then if I ran the air conditioner. Why waste the energy if the house doesn't cool down? Just go downstairs I figure.
Dane loves water unless it involves getting his hair washed. My sister-in-law bought a water sprinkler system from the dollar store. She thought that the older kids would have played with it but Dane was the only one. Allyson, my daughter, stayed in the clear because the water was cold. Once Dane ran through it once, he had fun with his cousins spraying him with their super soakers. I originally bought the water guns thinking Dane would play with them but he can't squeeze the trigger. I'd like to go back and maybe find him a battery operated water sprayer so he can play and get back at his cousins.
Grandma had 5 tickets to see the same circus we just seen last week. I do not wish to see it again but my nephews didn't see it. Grandma took my 2 nephews and had 2 tickets left for kids 12 and under free admission. Dane overheard that they were going to the circus. I told him that he already seen the circus and now it is Damian and Tylers turn. He went to our truck and threw the booster seats in the back and then buckled himself in. There he stayed spinning the wheels on his little car. I came to check on him from time to time and ask if he was going to come out and play. He said "No" and that he's going to the circus. As long as he wasn't getting out of control I thought I'd let him sit in the car until he was ready to come out.
A while later Grandma and the boys left and Dane came out. He took it pretty well seeing that Grandpa stayed back. He got out his power wheels jeep and rode around the yard with his sister on her 4 wheeler power wheels. I got out the go cart and we chased each other around the yard. Dane wanted a ride because I gave Ally one. He would have had a complete meltdown if I wouldn't have but it was no trouble.
Dane has his therapy tomorrow and I have FML off of work. I get to talk with one of the counselors with my wife to discuss how things are going and if we need to work on anything new. The noises he is making sticking out his tongue and unresponsive when we talk to him is to be of concern. The counselor wants us to try and capture on video what he looks like during the process. It may be seizure activity and may lead up to an EEG scan on his brain.
Dane loves water unless it involves getting his hair washed. My sister-in-law bought a water sprinkler system from the dollar store. She thought that the older kids would have played with it but Dane was the only one. Allyson, my daughter, stayed in the clear because the water was cold. Once Dane ran through it once, he had fun with his cousins spraying him with their super soakers. I originally bought the water guns thinking Dane would play with them but he can't squeeze the trigger. I'd like to go back and maybe find him a battery operated water sprayer so he can play and get back at his cousins.
Grandma had 5 tickets to see the same circus we just seen last week. I do not wish to see it again but my nephews didn't see it. Grandma took my 2 nephews and had 2 tickets left for kids 12 and under free admission. Dane overheard that they were going to the circus. I told him that he already seen the circus and now it is Damian and Tylers turn. He went to our truck and threw the booster seats in the back and then buckled himself in. There he stayed spinning the wheels on his little car. I came to check on him from time to time and ask if he was going to come out and play. He said "No" and that he's going to the circus. As long as he wasn't getting out of control I thought I'd let him sit in the car until he was ready to come out.
A while later Grandma and the boys left and Dane came out. He took it pretty well seeing that Grandpa stayed back. He got out his power wheels jeep and rode around the yard with his sister on her 4 wheeler power wheels. I got out the go cart and we chased each other around the yard. Dane wanted a ride because I gave Ally one. He would have had a complete meltdown if I wouldn't have but it was no trouble.
Dane has his therapy tomorrow and I have FML off of work. I get to talk with one of the counselors with my wife to discuss how things are going and if we need to work on anything new. The noises he is making sticking out his tongue and unresponsive when we talk to him is to be of concern. The counselor wants us to try and capture on video what he looks like during the process. It may be seizure activity and may lead up to an EEG scan on his brain.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sensory or Behavioral Meltdown?
There has to be two forms of an autistic meltdown. Sensory meltdown and behavioral meltdown. I'm not positive of this. This is just my concerns from what I witness with my son.
A sensory meltdown occurs when the nervous system goes into a sensory over-load. This involves the sense of touch, smell, taste, sound and vision. When an over stimulating environment causes the mind to scramble and not process the information fast enough.
A behavioral meltdown happens when the autistic child doesn't get to do something and can't get a hold of themselves till they get it done with. No matter how small the situation.
Tonight my dad was on the phone and he hung it up without my son saying hello and goodbye to who was on the other end. This upset him to a point of a tantrum that wouldn't end. It is one of his routines to say "hello and goodbye" to the other person on the phone. Thus, the behavioral meltdown in my view.
I put it off and tried to let him cry himself out and calm down without my help. I thought it would only last a few minutes but it lasted a long time. Usually I try to rub his back or give him a tight hug for sensory stimulation but tonight he wouldn't let me near him. Maybe being tired and a nap cut short triggered this?
Going on to 40 minutes he wasn't getting any better emotionally. I had to do something about this. He was making himself sick he was crying so much. All because he didn't say "hello" on the phone.
It came to the point where I called my parents home phone from my cell phone. The phone rang and he finally got to say hello and goodbye to me on the other line. Now the tears turned into sniffles and sighs of relief. All it took was for me to call and have him answer.
It makes me sick thinking that it will be like this until he has more therapy. He needs to understand that some things he cannot do. He needs to not get so upset over the smallest things. I know I could have prevented the prolonged tantrum by calling earlier. I should have. I wanted to see if he could end it on his own but it wasn't happening. How do I redirect his attention to not focus on the phone? Nothing was changing his mind.
Sometimes a parent feels lost what way they can do or should have done earlier to prevent a situation like this. The best way to handle a meltdown, is to prevent it from happening. You just don't know what will trigger it off.
A sensory meltdown occurs when the nervous system goes into a sensory over-load. This involves the sense of touch, smell, taste, sound and vision. When an over stimulating environment causes the mind to scramble and not process the information fast enough.
A behavioral meltdown happens when the autistic child doesn't get to do something and can't get a hold of themselves till they get it done with. No matter how small the situation.
Tonight my dad was on the phone and he hung it up without my son saying hello and goodbye to who was on the other end. This upset him to a point of a tantrum that wouldn't end. It is one of his routines to say "hello and goodbye" to the other person on the phone. Thus, the behavioral meltdown in my view.
I put it off and tried to let him cry himself out and calm down without my help. I thought it would only last a few minutes but it lasted a long time. Usually I try to rub his back or give him a tight hug for sensory stimulation but tonight he wouldn't let me near him. Maybe being tired and a nap cut short triggered this?
Going on to 40 minutes he wasn't getting any better emotionally. I had to do something about this. He was making himself sick he was crying so much. All because he didn't say "hello" on the phone.
It came to the point where I called my parents home phone from my cell phone. The phone rang and he finally got to say hello and goodbye to me on the other line. Now the tears turned into sniffles and sighs of relief. All it took was for me to call and have him answer.
It makes me sick thinking that it will be like this until he has more therapy. He needs to understand that some things he cannot do. He needs to not get so upset over the smallest things. I know I could have prevented the prolonged tantrum by calling earlier. I should have. I wanted to see if he could end it on his own but it wasn't happening. How do I redirect his attention to not focus on the phone? Nothing was changing his mind.
Sometimes a parent feels lost what way they can do or should have done earlier to prevent a situation like this. The best way to handle a meltdown, is to prevent it from happening. You just don't know what will trigger it off.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Case Worker Observation
I knew it would be like this. Our case worker came by at 4 pm today to observe Dane and how severe his autism is. He did everything she asked him to do within an hours time. She asked him questions while I watched his sister. He mostly played with his water table but took the time to bring me a broken screw that was sitting on my deck. She asked him to bring the screw to me.
Allyson, my daughter, was playing with her push mower that blows bubbles and I needed to get the mail. I took her by the hand thinking I had time to get it without Dane noticing. Dane and his observer were on the other side of the house so I thought it would be safe. Just as I was back on my side of the street with my mail, Dane seen that I got the mail without him. He ran and grabbed it out of my hand and went to put it back into the mail box, closed it, and then took the mail back out. He was on the verge of a meltdown. His eyes were wide open and it looked like he was going to cry his eyes out. That was adverted by him getting the mail. If I did not let him, things would have gotten ugly with his emotions.
I took the mail into the house and then got Allyson her 4 wheeler power wheels ready for her to ride on. The case worker had Dane fill a cup with water and put 3 dandelions in the cup. He pulled out the flowers and counted, "1, 2, 3." and put them in the cup.
I am clueless to some of the things she asked of him because I was busy keeping his sister away from him.
The case worker asked me what kind of discipline I use. I told her it depends if were inside or outside. If we are outside, I told her we go back in the house if he doesn't listen. If we're inside, I take his toys away. I told her we tried "time out" with him but he would kick down the door. Time out never worked because of that. I told her that not going to Grandpa's house was how I disciplined because he always looks forward to going there.
Dane was a perfect angel during the whopping hour observation. If she could only see what he's like when she isn't there to observe his behavior the other 23 hours of the day.
Allyson, my daughter, was playing with her push mower that blows bubbles and I needed to get the mail. I took her by the hand thinking I had time to get it without Dane noticing. Dane and his observer were on the other side of the house so I thought it would be safe. Just as I was back on my side of the street with my mail, Dane seen that I got the mail without him. He ran and grabbed it out of my hand and went to put it back into the mail box, closed it, and then took the mail back out. He was on the verge of a meltdown. His eyes were wide open and it looked like he was going to cry his eyes out. That was adverted by him getting the mail. If I did not let him, things would have gotten ugly with his emotions.
I took the mail into the house and then got Allyson her 4 wheeler power wheels ready for her to ride on. The case worker had Dane fill a cup with water and put 3 dandelions in the cup. He pulled out the flowers and counted, "1, 2, 3." and put them in the cup.
I am clueless to some of the things she asked of him because I was busy keeping his sister away from him.
The case worker asked me what kind of discipline I use. I told her it depends if were inside or outside. If we are outside, I told her we go back in the house if he doesn't listen. If we're inside, I take his toys away. I told her we tried "time out" with him but he would kick down the door. Time out never worked because of that. I told her that not going to Grandpa's house was how I disciplined because he always looks forward to going there.
Dane was a perfect angel during the whopping hour observation. If she could only see what he's like when she isn't there to observe his behavior the other 23 hours of the day.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
"DISCIPLINE"
My autistic son has a hard time dealing with his emotions. They take over and run his life. As a parent dealing with behavioral meltdowns it is complicated to not set off his temper. When he has his mind set on something, like, going to the store with Grandpa, telling him "No" can trigger this emotion. We try to explain that, "Grandpa will be right back!" doesn't help. He can't deal with being left out for a few minutes.
This brings up his behavioral meltdown/tantrum. His mind is over-loaded with sadness and heartache that he is left out. Then comes anger. He throws, stomps his feet, slaps the wall and slams the doors.
What do you do with a child who learn these life situations and can understand? You use discipline. Autistic or not, discipline has to be a used practice. To not discipline the child for being naughty and not listening to you lets that child walk all over you. Soon, you will not have any control over bad moments if they get away with bad behavior all the time.
Take something away like their favorite toy to teach them that they were bad. When they are good they can have it back. Think of a way to teach your child that they were doing something wrong and not listening to you. Discipline has its key role to teach our children right from wrong.
My sons Behavioral Therapist through the school gave us a reward chart to use. When he is good and does as he is told, he gets a smiley face sticker on the chart. When his goal is not reached, he gets a sad face sticker. When he sees more smiley faces on that chart it makes him feel that he is meeting his goals. That also makes a parent happy to see your child doing what they are supposed to do.
With discipline comes rewards. A child who maintains his self-discipline deserves something for his/her good work. You have to let the child know that you are pleased with the results you are seeing. Let the child choose their reward also. Something like a small toy or to play at the park. It doesn't have to be big, just something the child enjoys. Giving the child a choice in their rewards makes them feel happy and in control.
That is what discipline is about. Taking something bad and making something good come out of it. Like their behavior.
This brings up his behavioral meltdown/tantrum. His mind is over-loaded with sadness and heartache that he is left out. Then comes anger. He throws, stomps his feet, slaps the wall and slams the doors.
What do you do with a child who learn these life situations and can understand? You use discipline. Autistic or not, discipline has to be a used practice. To not discipline the child for being naughty and not listening to you lets that child walk all over you. Soon, you will not have any control over bad moments if they get away with bad behavior all the time.
Take something away like their favorite toy to teach them that they were bad. When they are good they can have it back. Think of a way to teach your child that they were doing something wrong and not listening to you. Discipline has its key role to teach our children right from wrong.
My sons Behavioral Therapist through the school gave us a reward chart to use. When he is good and does as he is told, he gets a smiley face sticker on the chart. When his goal is not reached, he gets a sad face sticker. When he sees more smiley faces on that chart it makes him feel that he is meeting his goals. That also makes a parent happy to see your child doing what they are supposed to do.
With discipline comes rewards. A child who maintains his self-discipline deserves something for his/her good work. You have to let the child know that you are pleased with the results you are seeing. Let the child choose their reward also. Something like a small toy or to play at the park. It doesn't have to be big, just something the child enjoys. Giving the child a choice in their rewards makes them feel happy and in control.
That is what discipline is about. Taking something bad and making something good come out of it. Like their behavior.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
New Teacher
Today, my sons early education teacher found another teaching job closer to her home. She left without warning and didn't say goodbye to her class. My son took this quite hard. This is a break in his routine and now what he knows so well has suddenly changed.
His new teacher seems very nice. She also has experience dealing with special needs children and those especially on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD). In time, my son will learn to grow close to her as well as he did his last teacher.
This is a shock to my wife and I how his teacher left the way she did. I am sure she has her own reasons. Maybe she wanted to make a clean break and hold back her emotions? Maybe with this government bill with the teachers union she was afraid of a pink slip? I know she loved her class very much. My son adored her. She was a very good teacher and I will miss her and so will her students.
We have my sons class picture hanging up on the tack board with his old teacher on it. We told him that he can still look at her picture to remember her when he wants. We are still trying to figure out how to explain why she left. All we can tell him now is that he has a new teacher and that she will be good to him like the other teacher.
I hope he will deal with this issue. This is a big change that happened so fast. If I feel shocked and awed by this, how can he feel? Routines are very hard to break with a child of autism. I've dealt with small things such as toys. But a person who has brought him so much inspiration and admiration? That has to be a greater heart ache than moving one of his toy cars out of alignment.
His new teacher seems very nice. She also has experience dealing with special needs children and those especially on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD). In time, my son will learn to grow close to her as well as he did his last teacher.
This is a shock to my wife and I how his teacher left the way she did. I am sure she has her own reasons. Maybe she wanted to make a clean break and hold back her emotions? Maybe with this government bill with the teachers union she was afraid of a pink slip? I know she loved her class very much. My son adored her. She was a very good teacher and I will miss her and so will her students.
We have my sons class picture hanging up on the tack board with his old teacher on it. We told him that he can still look at her picture to remember her when he wants. We are still trying to figure out how to explain why she left. All we can tell him now is that he has a new teacher and that she will be good to him like the other teacher.
I hope he will deal with this issue. This is a big change that happened so fast. If I feel shocked and awed by this, how can he feel? Routines are very hard to break with a child of autism. I've dealt with small things such as toys. But a person who has brought him so much inspiration and admiration? That has to be a greater heart ache than moving one of his toy cars out of alignment.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
"EMOTIONS"
I try my best to keep my son with ASD happy. Some times it is virtually impossible. The slightest thing sets him off. Tonight it was a straw to drink his milk.
It all started when his sister was drinking her milk. Naturally, he woke up from his nap and wanted milk also. I get him a glass of milk. That's not good enough. He wants a straw to drink with. I try and explain that we are out of straws. This started off his temper. Now, to regain control over the situation.
He's sitting in my leather rocker recliner and starts rocking hard. Then, he goes and tips over his toys. He grabs other objects and gets ready to throw. He stomps his feet around the house. What do I do? Is this part of his autism or behavior?
I try and pick him up to give him a hug to settle him down. I tell him it's alright that we will have to get more straws. He's still really upset.
This goes on for a while. It seems like it will never end. When you least expect it, it's over. He's done with his tantrum. Wiping away tears from his eyes and taking deep breaths.
Parenting an autistic child you have to call the signs of a meltdown. One like this will strike out of no where. Remain calm. You have to try and control your temper as well. The child will feed off that emotion and things will get worse. Bite your lip and take a deep breath. We will get through another day. One day at a time. You have to have bad days to appreciate the good ones.
It all started when his sister was drinking her milk. Naturally, he woke up from his nap and wanted milk also. I get him a glass of milk. That's not good enough. He wants a straw to drink with. I try and explain that we are out of straws. This started off his temper. Now, to regain control over the situation.
He's sitting in my leather rocker recliner and starts rocking hard. Then, he goes and tips over his toys. He grabs other objects and gets ready to throw. He stomps his feet around the house. What do I do? Is this part of his autism or behavior?
I try and pick him up to give him a hug to settle him down. I tell him it's alright that we will have to get more straws. He's still really upset.
This goes on for a while. It seems like it will never end. When you least expect it, it's over. He's done with his tantrum. Wiping away tears from his eyes and taking deep breaths.
Parenting an autistic child you have to call the signs of a meltdown. One like this will strike out of no where. Remain calm. You have to try and control your temper as well. The child will feed off that emotion and things will get worse. Bite your lip and take a deep breath. We will get through another day. One day at a time. You have to have bad days to appreciate the good ones.
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