Social Situations

Dane is more comfortable with adults to interact with but he is starting to explore more of his peer interactions.  A strength of his is complying to his teachers directions and willingness to try something new.  He is showing an interest in stories being read out loud and computer activities presented in his class.  He is beginning to start conversations with one or two children his age during play activities especially on the playground without being asked something.  He is starting to hold conversations and ask questions about what they are doing daily.  He is expanding his social interactions to other peers more often and is being worked on throughout the day as well as activity including himself in whole group sessions.  He works better with one or two children then he does with five or more to be more active with his class.  He is starting to state his first and last name but is currently working on spelling and writing his last name.  Overall, his teachers believe he is doing very well and is a pleasure to work with.

Children Learn From Homelife

If a child lives with Criticism, they learn to Condemn

If a child lives with Hostility, they learn to Fight

If a child lives with Fear, they learn to be Apprehensive

If a child lives with Pity, they learn to feel sorry for themself

If a child lives with Ridicule, they learn to be Shy

If a child lives with Jealousy, they learn to feel Guilty

If a child lives with Tolerance, they learn to be Patient

If a child lives with Encouragement, they learn to be Confident

If a child lives with Praise, they learn to be Appreciative

If a child lives with Acceptance, they learn to Love

If a child lives with Approval, they learn to Like Themself

If a child lives with Recognition, they learn it's good to Have a Goal

If a child lives with Honesty, they learn what Truth is

If a child lives with Fairness, they learn Justice

If a child lives with Security, they learn to have Faith in themself and those about them

If a child lives with Friendliness, they learn that the world is a nice place to which they live

What's your child living with?

by Dorthy Low Nolte

Different

My wife was dropping Dane off at his Kindergarten class today.  She usually stands by his hook to hang his coat and change into his gym shoes.  We need to stand back and let him do it himself.  Other kids his age dress and undress themselves.  Dane needs to learn this and be more independent.  He needs help buttoning and zipping up his coat and pants.  If he can't do it after a few tries then we help him. He has problems with his fine motor skills.

Dawn led Dane into his class and was listening in on a conversation he was having with the other children.  Dane said that when he gets big that he will ride bike to school.  One of the boys at the table looked at my wife and told her, "I don't know why he talks like that.  He always does."  My wife responded, "Because he's awesome!"  The other kids seem to really like Dane.

I talk to my wife on the phone on break at work to see how things are going.  When she told me about the boy's comment he made about my son it made me think.  I thought that other kids are starting to notice that he's different from the others.  It also scared me a bit to think that the other kids might gang up on him and pick on him.  Dawn assured me that the other kids really like Dane.  I hope that these kids back him up also if there is trouble down the road.

Therapy Plus School

With Dane now in Kindergarten, his routine of therapy on Tuesdays and Thursdays for 3 hours have been set off.  He will now have his autism therapy 1 day a week for one hour after school.  I hope that this isn't too hard on the little guy.

I have to get up at 4:50 in morning and get ready for work.  I need to be out the door by 5:40.  In that time I have to get ready, eat a quick breakfast if I'm lucky, get the kids ready and get out the door to meet my wife in the parking lot at work.  We exchange a few words.  She gives me the keys.  I say goodbye to my family and go to work for the day.

Usually my wife would have to work all night and then take Dane to therapy.  She has been so exhausted from working all night and then driving home, changing and then driving 40 minutes to get to Dane's therapy session.  For the next few hours she needed to wait or go window shopping just to stay awake.  A mountain dew or McDonalds cafe' usually perked her up just enough to get her back home and crash.

Along side the stress of raising the kids and working separate shifts has taken a tole on our marriage.  We bickered a lot causing tension in the house.  The kids could sense it.  We felt like we were growing apart.  We realized there was a problem and got it all out on the table of our issues.  The biggest one of getting my wife off of the night shift and to go part-time.  Now to assess the situation and work on our budget.

Patience

Dane has little to no patience.  When he has it in his head that he wants something or go somewhere he yells at me, "Now!"  This happens right when I get home from work.  I only ask that I eat and take a quick shower before we do anything together. 

Today, Dane wanted to go to Grandpa's, as usual.  "Now Daddy!"  I tell him that we would leave soon.  Soon isn't soon enough.  He wants to go, now!  He grrs, clenches his fists, stomps his feet and then says, "Fine, I'm going!"  I try to hurry and get dressed and he's out the door and in my vehicle.  He adjusted the rearview mirror and got fingerprints all over it.  He had the dome lights on and was sitting in the back seat.  He was more then ready to leave.  With or without me.  But he has a problem.  I am his ride.  If he's going anywhere, its through me to decide.  I don't like being yelled at and told to "Shut up" whenever I tell him to do something.  Then he grumbles and say's that I'm naughty.  When I turn around and say that he's naughty he rolls up into a ball and cries.

So here I am at my dads venting out on this blog my frustration while he watches the kids for a bit while I write this.  I work all day and am very tired and just want to sit down.

The neighbors dog, Spud shows up here all the time.  He's a cute Jack Russel and looks like that dog from the tv series, Frasier.  Dane just adores that dog and says its his dog.  I don't mind the dog coming to visit but my problem is when it runs across the road, Dane wants to follow.  Dane gets on the edge of the driveway and waits for that dog to come back.  He isn't on the road and I keep telling him to get back.  He's too close to the road.  Finally Spud comes back and he chases it around the yard.

In writing this, Ally, my daughter comes in and said that Dane peed on her.  Great, now I have to explain or have Danes therapist, Katie draw him a picture showing him that it is not polite to pee on others.  The last story she drew was about him not spitting on others.  Dane was spitting on Ally, chewing up his food and then spitting it out on her plate and laughing histaricly.  That's bad behavior and needs to be disciplined.  A time out is an order.  Dane is so tall and strong and I try to keep him in the chair and look disappointed at him like our family counceler told us to do.  Bad behavior needs no attention drawn to it.  She told us to use the words, "You Will Not!"  and not over explain because he's not listening anyway.

mind games

When I want Dane to do something and I tell him to do it he responds differently.  I do not know if he is not listening, doesn't hear me, doesn't understand, not paying attention or completely ignoring me.  It gets very frustrating.  I am tired of telling him over and over.  It has to be his auditory processing disorder part of his autism.

When I tell his sister to do something she stands there and shakes her head "no."  Then comes times where she has something she shouldn't have.  She had a marker in her hand this morning and was walking around the house with it.  I wanted to take it from her and she ran off with it.  She got to her room and dropped it and slammed the door.  I picked up the marker to put it up so she can't get to them.  She came back out and screamed she wanted to color.

Last night at Grandpas the kids got out the garden hose.  Dane was soaked to the bone spraying himself.  He ran away from me when I wanted to get him back into dry clothes.  Eventually he came up to my dad and wanted to be changed.  About 10 minutes later he came back full of mud from playing in the wet grass they sprayed with the hose.

Ally came up to me and said that Dane put dirt down her pants.  I looked and her underwear was full of dirt.  She was filthy!  I made her go in the house and take bath.  I had to sweep up the mess after she got undressed.  It was a lot of dirt.   After Ally got out of the tub, Dane wanted a bath.  Of course he had to have his sandbox toy he calls, "Spinner."  That seems like the only toy that brings him joy.  He sleeps with it even.

My basement is a mess.  Not only do they drag toys all over the house and make me pick up constantly after them.  They got into the guinea pig bedding and threw it down the stairs and all over the basement floor.  We have a social story to pick up toys I will have to use with Dane.  We have had success with the no hitting social story.  Instead of hitting Ally he growls, clenches his fists and yells, "I'm mad at you!"

Parent/Teacher Conference

I was pretty leery about what was going to be said with Danes teacher.  Are they having troubles with him in class?  Is he keeping up to his peers?  Has he had any meltdowns?  I was worried going at this alone because my wife works the night shift and she sleeps at this time of the day. 

Grandpa came and took the kids while I went to the conference.  To my surprise I got right in and didn't have to wait.  Sweet.  This shouldn't take too long I hope.  I was there for 25 minutes.  I asked a guy I work with who's daughter is in the other class how long his was.  He said 10.  I must have rambled on.  We had a few laughs as well.  I cannot believe what they want kids this young to be learning.  How well they should be reading and tying their shoes by the end of the school year.  All about this "no child left behind" deal.  Even the teacher said that kids learn at different paces.  True, and what of his autism?  Is that affecting him from learning?

It sounds that Dane is doing well in school.  She had concerns that he isn't paying attention but when he's looking away and she calls on him, he answers her.  This was like when he was in pre-K.  During that time Dane had to have a matchbox car with him all the time.  He would spin the wheels while the teacher was talking.  It would appear that he is not paying attention to the teacher.  Also, when asked a question he would answer correctly.  I am thinking because of his auditory processing disorder that he cannot visually watch and listen at the same time.  He needs to be looking away to listen to process what he is being taught.  I think.  How else would he know the answers if he's not paying attention.  This is his way of paying attention.  By looking away.

I told the teacher about forewarning Dane when certain things will happen.  Like the fire drill they had.  He wasn't prepared and the bell scared him.  She said he sat at the table and cupped his ears.  I asked if the fluorescent lights bother him also.  She told me that she usually only has the front row of lights on because of the sunlight that comes in.  As far as him learning she is not concerned that he is lagging.  That was very good news that he is catching up to his peers. 

The teacher mentioned that the therapists from the center where Dane receives his services faxed over his records what they are working on with him.  She couldn't believe this was the same child from what she read.  I am thinking because school is so structured that he has learned to go with the flow.  At home, our structure is bad.  As I said, my wife and I both work full time opposite shifts.  The structure is her way, then my way, then the weekend we are both home with the kids and they don't know who to listen to.  It's hell. 

Structure is very important.  Routine wise.  Break the routine and pay the price.  Dane relies on a set system of his daily activities.  If something is out of sync it drive him over the edge.  Thus, the meltdown.  Tipping over chairs, hitting his sister, banging his head, slamming doors, knocking over books, and so on.  Destroying the house. 

The best way to handle a meltdown or tantrum in other words is to avoid it.  Get to know the child in what sets them off.  That's a bit of the problem.  You may think you have something figured out and then something else arrives that triggers off the emotions.  Keep a log of when and where things out of the ordinary happen.  Piece together and pinpoint the problems.  Work with them and talk to the therapists about what needs to be addressed to.  Work with the child and don't yell.  It never helped with Dane.  He never understood why I would raise my voice.  Before he was diagnosed it seemed like that would make him learn right from wrong.  It didn't.

Moaning Noises

It was a fairly decent day and I went to pick up Dane from school.  He was happy and ready to go home.  One of the teachers was standing off in the distance with a radio controlled miniature school bus.  He was talking into a headset microphone and the words would come through the bus and talk to the kids.  The bus also sprayed water at the children.  They loved it.  The bus reminded me of Thomas the Tank Engine.

Things are getting slow around work because of high gas prices and the economy.  Every 3rd Thursday I am expected to go to Danes intensive therapy to observe and talk with the counselors.  I am approved for Family Medical Leave for those days.  I am not sure if many employers approve FML for autism services.  These days are unpaid.  Work also has been having plant shutdown for lack of work for the past several Fridays.

The main topic today at therapy was Danes noises and moaning he makes.  He curls his tongue and makes weird loud noises constantly.  We have to pay close attention to one of the noises in which he is unresponsive and is staring off.  That is a sign of a seizure and we need to document that with video footage.  She wants to know what he looks like before, during and after the episode. The counselor is concerned that she is referring us to a Neurologist for an brain scan to see what triggers the seizure.

Other noises he makes I think are normal.  When he drives his little cars around, he makes motor boat noises with his tongue.  Another noise he makes is when he is active.  He curls his tongue and makes loud Luuu noise.  Those can be redirected. We tell him to stop and he answers and then continues to do it.  On the other hand, his moaning and lip biting and staring off and doesn't answer when spoken to is the one we need to really watch.  That is the concerning noise we need to document.  I haven't been documenting anything video wise with his unusual behaviors.  I really think that it is time to start a separate taping of these instances that we are trying to figure him out with and learn more about his stims.

Disrespect / Defiance

Is it too much to ask for a little respect from my kids?  I tell them to do something and I get "Shut Up"  in a under tone voice.  I also get told to "Go Away", "Be Quiet", "Your Naughty" and "Your not my best friend anymore!"

I have also heard some swear words lately.  Dane kept saying the F word over and over before bed.  I told him that is a naughty word and that's not nice to say.  I also told him that it makes daddy sad and that he will get in trouble in school for saying that.  Not to mention I heard him say G*d Da**it when angry.

Yesterday Dane was just waking up from a short nap.  Allyson was playing with one of his tractors.  He ran up behind her and slapped her bare back leaving a hand print.  That was the hardest he has ever hit her.  She did nothing to deserve that.  He got a 5 minute time out for that.

Usually when he got a time out he would go to his room and slam the door.  Then he would lay on the floor and do a bicycle kick shaking the entire house.  He broke the trim off he kicks so hard.  This time out was different.  He stayed in there the entire time and was quiet.  He didn't put up a fight.  I think it clicked that he really did something wrong and knew he deserved this discipline.

When Dane gets tired he is at his worst.  He keeps bugging Ally.  She cries and screams at him.  He is wired up and doesn't listen.  Does he not understand what I am saying?  Is he ignoring me?  He bangs his head on me, on Ally's back, on his knee and on the arm of the couch.  He makes moaning noises and laughs.

My wife has been taking him for a short drive to get him away when he is like that.  I stay home with Ally and she drives him around the park.  It is a big difference when he gets back in the house.  He is calmed down.  I don't know what it is but that short drive settles him down.  Maybe he is so over stimulated that he needs time alone on a quiet drive around town.  I will have to ask the therapist what we can do for stimulating games for him to settle himself down when he is like this.

It's funny though.  Dane has been coming up to me asking for squeezes.  I give him a tight hug and hold him for a minute or two.  I ask how he is and he says he's better.   It has to be sensory related.  He acts naughty but can't help it possibly.  He doesn't answer when we tell him not to be doing something wrong.  He is off in his own world.

Sharing

My 2 nephews came home with my mother from a rock and fossil exhibit.  Dane was excited and wanted to see their rocks.  One of my nephews is stubborn and didn't even want Dane to see the rocks.  Dane got upset because he felt left out.  He was left out and that is wrong what those boys did.  My older nephew said that they were his rocks.  I'm thinking, your 10 and he's 5.  Show him the damn rocks already.  

My other nephew gave my wife a polished red rock, in turn, gave to my son.  He felt happy and included and had something to talk to my dad about.  Why couldn't my one nephew, who is old enough, just let him look and the rocks.  Is that so much to ask?

I'm actually proud of my younger nephew for standing up to his brother.  He told him that he didn't even buy the rocks, Grandma did!  Later on, he gave Dane a few more of his rocks.  Sure, their polished and look really nice.  These rocks are going to be put somewhere around the house and forgotten about more likely.  I'll probably put them in the fountain my wife bought so that will put them to some use.

I was thinking, okay my nephew is 10 and doesn't want to include on his young cousin, my son, his precious rocks.  Dane knows how to share at least.  What's his excuse?  Makes me feel like a proud father that I'm teaching my son not to be greedy and share with others.  Sure, at times he yells and tries to hit his sister.  That's mostly because she takes things away from him.  That's mostly normal childhood behavior I think.

If Dane gets something he will will usually bring more then 1 and give something to his little sister, or me.  That's pretty impressive how he has manners.  I am teaching him to say please and thank you.  Some times Dane and his little sister, Ally, will say "Now, daddy!"  I don't like that.  I make them say please in a respectful tone before I do anything for them.  I know their a bit spoiled but I demand their respect as well.

writing name & understanding emotions

Danes therapist that he sees 3 hours twice a week has noticed that Dane can recognize emotions and facial expressions.  That is only when someone is really sad and crying.  Happy and laughing.  Angry and yelling.  Only when it is to the extreme emotion that Dane understands what the other is feeling.  She will be working with him more on this to make him understand emotions more clearly.  There is no in-between with emotions that Dane can relate to.  If I say to him with a stern voice, he cannot understand that I am getting upset.  If I turn that into yelling, he will understand that I am getting mad.  That goes for happy and not laughing and sad without crying.  He cannot read between the lines on how people feel.

Dane needs to work hard on his fine motor skills.  When the therapist worked with him on writing his name, the longer they worked at it the better he got.  After they switched around to play therapy and then back to writing his name it was back to where he started.  He has troubles doing a tripod grasp around a crayon.  His teachers would break his crayons in half to help teach him the proper way to write.  He also lacks control when coloring.  By now, he should be able to stay in the lines when coloring a picture.  He scribbles all over with no control.  Also, his darker and harder pressed scribbles are turning into light strokes that are barely visible.

Dane knows and can recognize the letters of the alphabet.  When he writes his name, it is not horizontal. The therapist hopes to have this corrected because he is now in Kindergarten.  The letters seem to be all over with no control. 

sensory sack/body sock

I arrived at the elementary school at 2:50 to get Dane out of school and take him to his therapy.  He was so proud of himself because he walked from his class all the way to the office by himself.  That was very exciting for me also to see how happy he was to walk himself.  For the past 3 weeks a teacher or other student had walked Dane to the office to meet with me.  He leaves 10 minutes before recess and gets ahead of the other classes and away from the noise and clutter of children working their ways through the hallway.  The first thing he told me was, "Daddy, I walked all by myself."  He had a big smile on his face and couldn't wait to tell his mother, Grandpa and his therapist.

I told Danes therapist about at times how he enters his own world.  He makes lots of noises.  He bothers his sister constantly even while I try to separate the two.  He bangs his head and his body twitches.  I told the therapist that Dane has been asking for "squeezes" also.  After I give him a firm hug and put pressure on his joints that helps to calm him.  Usually my wife would take him for a short drive around town and get him out of the house and away from his sister.  When they return, Dane settles down a lot.  I asked if there were any "sensory" toys or games he could use to entertain and calm himself without having to go for a drive all the time.

Dane in a sensory sack for comfort

Kate, Danes therapist, recommended a few things.  Bean bag chairs that he could be placed between for pressure.  She said he didn't think much of the weighted vest and didn't have one in his size to borrow.  She said he enjoys playing with the beans and running his hands through them and letting them fall through his fingers.  The last idea she has was the sensory sack or body sock it's called.  Kate used it during his therapy and he did good with it.

The sensory sack Dane really likes and we got to borrow it and see if it is worth getting one.  I noticed a difference letting him use it tonight.  The sack must be made from nylon that stretches and forces pressure on him and helps calm him down.  Nonetheless, he has fun with it and tucks completely in it and hides.  The only problem is that his sister, Ally, wants one too.  The first night I had to have them take turns because they fought over it.  It looks like I will have to buy two of them just to prevent constant fighting over it.

Time Out in School

After picking up Dane from school Monday I asked the usual question.  "How was school today?"  Dane usually responds with, "Good."  Okay, that's a start.  "Did you have fun?  What did you learn today?"  Dane says he likes school and that he got a time out.  A Time Out!?

I ask, "What happened?  Dane said, "I dunno."  Then all he said what that, "Teacher is naughty!"  I was getting ready for bed and my wife was out the door going to work.  I told her, "Dane got a time out today."  "For what? " She says.  I said he didn't tell me why.

The next morning my wife was getting Dane ready for school and she asked about the time out.  He responded with a horrible meltdown.  He may have been getting sick and not feeling well so he stayed home from school.

I brought up with Danes therapist that he had a time out and won't tell me what happened.  I asked her if she can get it out of him.  He gave her two stories what happened.  Either the whole class got a time out or just a small group including him got a time out for hitting.  I told the therapist that the teacher didn't say anything to me about this time out incident.  Maybe it wasn't that serious and that's why she didn't tell me or send home a note. I said that it was interesting that he told me and brought it to my attention.  That's progress with his communication that something happened.

Loud Noises - sensory intake

I had gotten the kids to sleep last night around 9 pm.  I sat down and read the new Wall E book with Dane and Ally.  Afterwords, it was time for them to get to sleep.  I was tired out from the sunny day we actually had.  Will this rain and cold and wind just go away so the kids can run around outside?    Where did summer go?

I woke up on the couch around 2 this morning.  I was going to go to my own bed and go figure, Dane wakes up crying and looking for me.  I have to get him back to his bed and lay down by his side and then Ally wakes up screaming.  Dane pushes away at Ally so I have to lay between them to get them to sleep.  I wake up at 4 and sneak out to get into my own bed.  Dane wakes up 5 minutes later crying for "Daddy!"  I swear these kids have instinct when I leave.  How else do they always wake up?

6 am I wake up with both kids again and I lay on the couch trying to get a little more sleep while they are wide awake scaring the guinea pig.  Eventually, I pull myself off the couch to get the house picked up. 

We go out to eat at the family restaurant in town.  We place our orders and get our food.  I am sick of ordering meals for the kids when they don't eat.  When we get home they say that their hungry.  We lock up all the cabinets because I don't want them snacking all the time.  We try and have a nice sit down family meal and Ally is falling asleep and antsy.  Dane is staring at the ceiling and shaking his head.  He has been shaking his head a lot lately and looking up.  That is something new.  Probably something to do with his sensory input.  My wife gives him a back rub to make him settle down.

I'm halfway through my meal and the kids have to go potty.  My wife takes them.  I make her take the kids to the womens room because mens rooms are disgusting.  After they do their business Dane washes his hands and is frightened to push the blow dryer butten.  He doesn't want to but he's curious if it will be loud or not.  He always gets ready to plug his ears.  He pushes it and runs out of the bathroom back to our table.  The kids are getting tired so I guess it's time to go.

My wife takes the kids out the door and they run off towards the highway.  She yells at them to stop and they do.  They get into the truck and I stay back to clean up the table and pay the bill.  We decide to go to Grandpa's house to relax.  The kids fall asleep within minutes of driving.  If they could only fall asleep that fast when it is bed time at home.

Play Date

Since my wife works the night shift I need to keep the kids entertained to let her get sleep.  Usually I have to run out to the country to visit their Grandpa.  Out there I get a chance to put my feet up and let the kids run around.  I also get to get caught up on my family and talk with dad.

I have to discipline the kids when they don't listen or do bad things so I punish them by not going to their Grandpa's.  That also hurts me because there I can unwind and have help watching my kids.  I feel they see too much of their Grandpa and that's probably why they don't listen to me.  Grandpa likes to give in way too much and not say "no."  That causes trouble for me when I get the kids home.  They feel like they can do whatever they want and walk over me.

Some days I am so exhausted after working all day.  My feet hurt, I'm tired and hungry.  All I want to do is get home some days and take a shower and sit down.  Luckily today the kids were actually napping when I got home and I got to catch a cat nap with them.

After they woke up that's the start of another full time job keeping them happy and entertained.  I let them go outside and Dane organizes his pinwheels and played with the bubble mower.  Ally plays on the swings.  Sometimes Ally will take things from Dane and he hits her in the back.  I hate it when he does that.  He needs to learn to use his words and not his fists.  He needs to hear that makes his sister sad and it hurts her.  The no hitting social story from the school helped explain that to him.  His therapist also explains to him.  He has a hard time seeing how others feel.

I told them we'd go up to the park because I had to send out a letter for another speech evaluation on Dane.  I went the wrong way and instead of turning around I went to my cousin's place.  He has 2 boys the same age as mine.

It is important for Dane to have someone close to him to play with.  I have seen many benefits with his behavior watching and learning from other children.  Daycare is very beneficial having him see all the other kids dressing themselves and how they use their manners.  We do not need daycare the way our work schedules line up.  We use it 2 days a week for Danes benefit.  It also helps my wife to get some sleep after working all night.  It also gives me a couple hours to get something done around the house and a break from the kids.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays Dane has his therapy after Dawn works all night.  She has to come home and quickly get the kids back out the door for the next few hours.  I don't know how she stays awake.  This is just something we have to do to help Dane overcome some of his issues.  He is maturing and learning to do things more independently.  Right at the moment his fine motor skills are declining and therapy and us have to help him work on that.

Emotional Behavior

Behavior.  What set's it off?  Sometimes something as little as shutting off the kitchen sink.  Dane will have to turn the water on then off or he will have a meltdown.  He has been getting better with his intensive 3 hour therapy sessions two days a week.

Over the weekend we had a cookout at my parents.  We were looking at how bad my dads shingles are on his roof over his house.  45 years old those shingles are and now dad is considering putting a steel roof on.  The shingles on the garage that my brother and I helped roof less then 8 years ago look like crap.  Most of them are curling up already?  Everything is made so cheap.  Those shingles had a 30 year warranty I thought?  Dad says shingles these days your lucky to get 15 years use.

The neighbor down the road stopped in on his 4 wheeler.  He told dad about his steel roof that he put on and wanted to show him.  He wanted dad to jump on the wheeler and take him down the road.  Dad didn't want to go but my brother and I told him to go.

Dane didn't see that Grandpa left on the 4 wheeler and then seen him down the road.  He got really upset.  He stood on the edge of the driveway crying until Grandpa got back.  After he came back, in the neighbors truck, Dane stormed off because the 4 wheeler didn't come back.  He wanted to go for a ride.  He stormed off down the road and I had to run to catch him.  He stayed on side because I have really been pushing him to stay on the side of the road. I never let him close to the road unless I am with him.  I don't know if he'd just walk out into traffic.  Eventually I got him turned around to walk back to the house with me.

Later that evening then neighbor came back on his 4 wheeler and I got to give Dane a ride.  I took him down the road to their farm. We looked at the cows and turned around.  I knew the whole while he was thinking about riding it.  I think that made him happy for the rest of the night.

Air Show

My wife wanted to go see the EAA Air Show 3 hours away.  We decided this could be good family bonding experience.  My family doesn't get to do much together because we work opposite shifts.  It doesn't help that the kids are as little as they are also. I hope to change our life styles soon to help my marriage. 

I was surprised and happy how well the children took the long car ride.  There was a park near by with a splash pad.  We wanted the kids to go to the bathroom before we got to the airport.  We had a couple hours to spare and luckily my wife packed their bathing suits.  They got to play and run through the water with all the other kids.

Dane didn't want to leave but we told him he didn't want to miss the airplanes and big jets.  He likes Big Jet from Disney's Little Einsteins.

When we got there we needed to find a place to park.  8 dollars.  Then we had to get into the airport and get 2 adult wrist bands and 2 bands for the kids.  75 dollars.  Whoa.  I hope I had enough money to get through the day with the 90 degree heat.

Now what?  We walked around not knowing how to get to the air show.  We went outside and there was a line of people waiting for buses.  That is how we get there?

Dane was hungry so we got 3 hot dogs and a bottle of water.  He wanted catsup but I didn't want him to get messy. I told him that catsup was cooked into it and he didn't need to put any on.  A little white lie on my part.

On the bus a nice guy let my kids sit in his spot.  Allyson was excited about her first bus ride.

When the bus stopped and we were on the airfield I figured the kids would be okay to walk.  I wanted to get Danes picture next to a Bomber jet but he knelt down and didn't want his picture taken.  He was already pre exhausted from the heat.  We went back and got the last 2 seater wagon for 15 bucks deposit.  They needed to hold on to my drivers license.

We looked at a lot of big cargo planes and helicopters.  Dane got to sit in a helicopter but didn't seem to excited.  He looked like he was going to have a heat stroke.

I thought that sonic booms were going off because of the planes taking off but they actually were dropping bombs.  That was cool.

My wife went to get us some more water and a veteran pilot gave Dane and Ally stickers while the next planes were flying in formation.

After the final bomb which was a wall of fire that the announcer said, "Changed the war," a big, black cloud was rolling in.  I was expecting a torrential downpour so we wanted to get out of there.

We were walking faster and faster trying to get back to the buses and I looked to the right.  A big mess of dust and gravel was coming at us.  We tried to make it inside a tent but it was already there.  That wind must have been 60 mph.  People were scattering everywhere looking for shelter.  We got to the side of the tent and knelt down on top of the kids.  I put the kids hats over their faces to protect their eyes from flying debree.  Another boy asked his father if that was a tornado.  Dane was so frightened and couldn't tell us how scared he was.

We got back to the wagon rental station and their tent was blown over.  I needed to get my license back and people kept budding in front of me.  Finally a nice old man asked if those were my kids.  I was the only one in the line with kids.  Everyone was returning motorized karts.  He let me get in front of him.  All the licenses were messed up because the wind knocked over their file cabinet.  People were getting distressed because they wanted their cards back.  I thanked the man and we finally go my license back.

Dane fell asleep on the ride back home.  When we got home he was still shaking.  My wife said she'd take him for a quick drive to calm him down.  I'm like, "We just drove 3 hours."  It worked.  She got back and Dane settled down a lot.  She took him around the park and he told her a bit about the ducks there.  A little one on one bonding seems to help even if it's for a short drive. 

Imaginative Play

What a wonderful thing to come home from work to.  Silence.  Both kids taking their naps at the same time on the couch with Maisey on the television.  Food on the stove and a hot bath run.  Wonderful.  I like it.  I like it a lot!

I'd like the kids to start playing video games.  These new systems are so complicated with all the buttons and action going on.  I brought out from storage the old 8 bit Nintendo Entertainment System from my childhood.  What junk.  None of the games would stay on.  I kept getting the blue flashing screen.  The only game I actually got to work was the original Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt combo game.  I wanted to play Duck Hunt and the kids wanted to shoot the ducks.  I think this would help Dane with his hand, eye coordination and fine motor skills.

There must be something with the new flat screen TV's.  BANG BANG BANG!  Then that laughing piece of shit dog comes up.  "Let me see that."  I say.  Same thing.  3 misses and the laughing dog.  Even with the zapper up to the screen would miss the ducks.  There I go.  Getting the kids hopes up for something cool and turns out to be a let down.

The wife is off to bed and the kids are wound up.  Dane wants to go to Grandpas, go figure.  He gets upset and takes it out on Ally.  He starts to slam doors in her face and slap her arm.  He even started to scratch her.  When he gets in that attitude frame of mind I have to keep Allyson distant from him or he tries to hurt her.  Sometimes I think she brings it on and irritates him by taking his toys from him.

Looks like rain so I have to bring the kids inside and get some laundry done.  First thing they do in run around the basement with those loud dump trucks.  Dawn wakes up and tells me to take their trucks away.  I'm trying to do laundry.  After I get a load in I'll take them back upstairs and "try" to keep them quiet.

I thought I'd bring out Ally's doll house and try some imaginative play with the kids.  Dane showed no interest at all.  Not because of the doll house.  Because he lacks imaginative play.  That really sucks that all Dane see's is reality and can't use his imagination.  He did laugh when I used the small dog to pretend play drinking out of the toilet and then lick at Ally and his faces.

Kindergarten

Dane was excited to go back to school.  He still talks about his teacher from last year.  It's sad for him knowing that she is not his teacher this year.  He is in a new classroom with all new students.  Only a couple familiar faces are in his class this year.  I don't understand why they didn't put him in a class with more students he got to know from last year.  That really stinks.  I told him that he will make lots of new friends this year.  Most of the kids are latino.

There was a young hispanic girl starting kindergarten this year.  She was crying and scared.  She couldn't speak any english.  Her parents dropped her off and left her on her own.  The teachers had to find an interpreter to speak to her and calm her down.  The girl was new to the area and didn't know anybody.

Danes first day of Kindergarten before class

The school wants the kids entering the school to go strait to the cafeteria.  This is for breakfast and for those who will eat before their first class.  I understand if someones kid has to get up early and ride the bus to school who don't have time to eat to have this option.  I live about 5 blocks from the school and Dane has time to eat breakfast at home.  I told his teacher that he will not be getting to school early to wait in the lunch room with all the loud kids eating their breakfast.  He will arrive right before class starts between 8:15 and 8:25.  I am not paying for 2 or 3 meals a day when he can eat at home before school starts.

It sounds from Danes teacher that he had a good day and I am happy about that.  Hopefully she is telling me the truth for me not to be concerned.  I need to set up a M-Team meeting to get the personnel involved with Dane to let the staff know about his condition.  A lot of the teachers and people working close with him don't know he has autism.  I could have knocked the librarian over with a feather when I told her last year.  I couldn't believe she didn't know.  I thought that the school would have brought this to their faculty's attention.  I guess that is up for me to let them know.  What if something sets off a meltdown and the teacher thinks he is misbehaving?  Anyone involved around Dane must know his condition.  That is the importance of the M-Team meeting.  Like an IEP but with all who is involved with Dane to bring it to their attention.

First Big Rides

I am in shock.  Dane went on the rides at the fair and loved them.  Allyson really wanted to go on the ferris wheel.  She is 3.  I rode with her and my wife rode with Dane.  My sister was in the area and we met with her.

On one of the inflated jumping kids areas, Allyson got her skin on her heel peeled back.  My sister took Dane and went on some rides with him while we took Ally back to the car.  We needed to get her some socks or a band aid.  Something to protect that raw mark on her foot.

What are the odds of finding only 1 sock in the car?  It was black and wearing it with sandles it looked like a small cast.  Needless to say now she could walk because it wasn't rubbing against her shoe anymore.

Dane with cousin and aunt

We needed to catch up with my sister and find Dane.  We walked around the fair looking for her and decided we'd catch up with her when the entertainment started.  Ally wanted to go on the ferris wheel again.  We stood in line and there was Dane and my sister and her daughter waving at us.

Dane went on the ferris wheel, scrambler, spinning strawberry ride, hang glider and tilt a whirl while we were catering to Ally.  Those I thought would be intense for him but he had fun.  Later, my mother wanted to go on the tilt a whirl.  We took Dane and his cousin, Mia on the ride.  It was a fast ride and a car that spun a lot!  Dane was shaking and I told him to "Hold On."  He looked at me and said, "Daddy, this is cool!"  I laughed.  I did not expect him to go on these rides.

It is hard to believe he will be in kindergarten this year.  Tonight we met with his teacher.  She seemed nice.  Looking at his class mate list he only has 2 kids he knows from last year.  I wish they could have had him in a class with more kids he knew.  I told him that he will make lots of new friends.  He is happy to be going back to school.  The school system has a good routine and I think that helps Dane adapt better off in the long run.

Instead of Dane having therapy in the morning on Tuesdays and Thursdays he will have it after school.  That will be easier on my wife who works all night in the factory and takes him.  Now, I will have to take him after work and after I pick him up from school.  I just worry how wore out he will be after going to school all day and then having a few hours therapy afterwords.  I am guessing he will sleep for the 40 minute drive there.  By that time he probably won't want to do anything because he will be too tired.  I hope it all goes well.  He has been through a lot the past few years since birth to 3 and intensive therapy.