Denial

I forgot that looking back before when my son with diagnosed with autism how I was denying the red flags spotting that there were definite signs of autism. His little sister was born and everything he was accomplishing as a toddler stopped.

The very thought that crossed my mind was that he wants to be the baby. "This is why he's doing what he is doing. That's not autism. That's regression." It took the day of the screening and the final diagnosis of him being autistic that it finally hit me. There is something wrong. Time to accept those facts. Now what?

We are dealing with this one day at a time. I have a hard time accepting that when he get's older that more things will change. I have heard that when autistic children get older, they can get worse. That scares me.

I've been seeing this with his sensitivity. It's hard to wash his hair. He freaks out when I pour water over his head to rinse. I slowly and gently put shampoo on my hand and run it through his hair. He hates it. He screams. Cutting his hair is hard to. I use the clippers and the sound drives him crazy. I have him plug his ears shut while I trim. Afterwords I give him ice cream and tell him he did a good job. The whole time he is just trembling in fright. He is in sensory over-load. Also recently he has been flapping his hands in front of his face. Another symptom that has started coming into his life.

After its all done he is a happy boy playing and fighting with his little sister. Usually he plays off in the corner by himself. It has taken daycare and schooling to help him include himself with other children, especially his little sister. When she wants to play with him, he'd just ignore her and continue to play with his cars alone. He has gotten better to play with and be included in other childhood games. That's good news knowing that he is beginning to socialize.

Diagnosis

Before my son was diagnosed with autism, I was making excuses that he wasn't autistic. I was in such denial. I was constantly searching for clues and taking online free quizzes about his development skills. Even the quizzes would result in, "Probably Autistic."

Still, seeing those words made me think, "No, that's not right."

I was searching up MMR vaccines with thirmersol or mercury causing symptoms of autism, early signs of autism, aspergers syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). I wanted specifics! "Tell me what I want to hear! My son is fine! He will outgrow these weird habits and start talking I know it!"

This may be why you are here reading this. You want to know the truth what is going on with your child. I know. I've been there. You know the truth but your thoughts are setting you back telling you that that's not possible. There is another explanation why my child is doing the things he or she is doing.

You talk to other parents what their child is doing or not doing. You compare you child to theirs. You want to know, "Is this normal?"

Deep down, you know something is wrong. You choose not to accept it like I did. You want to wait and see the results that everything is okay. Nothing to worry about, right?

You enroll your child in school. The teachers are seeing things your not. They also give you quizzes about what you see your child doing at home. You and your spouse take separate quizzes and then the school psychologist compares. You put in your comments. It boils down to where the school wants your child labeled. Finally, you get them screened. Diagnosis, Autism.

After that long day with the doctor, occupational therapist and speech therapist the results come in. The doctor says it appears your child has autism.

I took that news in trying not to choke up and held back. The doctor says not to give up hope. I knew this was gonna be the final result but I didn't think it was real.

After the facts were laid out, I also felt a sense of relief. Now, I know it's not all behavior problems. It's things inside that aren't connecting. We have to figure out a way to cope with this. He is our son and we love and accept him unconditionally.

I just hope I can break a barrier with you. Stop denying and get your child screened for autism. It may not be autism. Whatever it is you'll feel better knowing what it is and what you can do about it.

Oobi - language development

There is a show on TV called Oobi on the NickJr. channel. This show has been on for some time. I thought it was lame the first time I seen it a few years back. Watching it now I see why it is the way it is.

The characters are people's hands with a set of eyes on them. They speak in really reduced sentences for children to develop language skills. My autistic son actually sat and studied the characters. This show also has good moral teachings. That is a hard thing to find now days on cartoons and TV shows.

Cartoons today are either too educational and boring or violent. What ever happened to silly and funny cartoons like Bugs Bunny and Garfield? Even Sesame Street now is about eating veggies. Not that that is a bad thing, but where is the humor? Sesame Street used to have a bunch of segmented clips about numbers, letters, colors and other educational meanings. Now, it focuses on a topic, like bubbles, and has the whole show on that. Then comes Elmo's World. That doesn't teach much either.

Speech delay was a big factor in my son's autism. He didn't start speaking until the age of 4. When he started speaking, he was echolalic. He would copy things we would tell him to do. Now, he is starting to ask questions for himself instead of copying what we say. He still has a puzzled look on his face sometimes we tell him to do something.

I will say that Oobi is a really good tool of language providing and morals when you have a child who has a delayed speech. Speaking slow, short sentences is how to get the communication skills working.

"RESEARCHING EARLY AUTISM"

Sitting at my parents house I couldn't help notice their World Book Encyclopedias. Copyright 1975. More than a little outdated. I grab the A version and flip to the meaning of Autism. I didn't expect to find it but for sure it was in there. This is what I found.

An American psychiatrist named Leo Kanner first identified autism in 1943. He believed it to be an inborn disorder of body chemistry. Researchers had discovered abnormal amounts of chemicals in blood and urine of autistic children. Some experts at the time believed that autism was caused by child-rearing practices of the mother. Today, we know that is untrue.

In 1975, 1 child in 30,000 had symptoms of autism. The most noticeable was a strange, vacant stare. About 75 percent of autistic children were male. What happened since then that cases of autism skyrocketed to about 1 in every 110 children? 1 in 70 for boys.

Symptoms displayed at this time were unresponsiveness, detachment, insistence on sameness and gracefulness. Those still are present signs today to help identify the disorder in small children.

I also found out tonight that 1 in 80 people with autism are in the military. What's up with that?

Autism can't be cured but it can be treated. We still love our children unconditionally and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. We have to learn to live with how they grow into our world and except them because they are our children. We want the best for them. The best therapy and safety. We want them to grow up and make us proud. We have to stay by their side and help guide them in the right direction. This is our job as parents.

IN SIMPLE TERMS

How do you explain to a visual thinker on the autism spectrum disorder (ASD) everything?  Long story short basically.  When it comes to a long explanation, narrow it down.  Then, narrow it down further.  Than it becomes, just because.

When the explanation is in progress of leaving your lips every word is blah blah blah.  Except the words that they can visualize.  Take for instance when you tell a visual thinker, "It's raining cats and dogs."  That person will actually visualize cats and dogs falling from the sky.

With all the pun in the english language, one thing can mean another.  Instead of telling the child about raining cats and dogs, they need to hear that it's raining hard outside.  That they can understand.

You can actually see the confusion on their faces while you explain.  Their minds are trying to piece that jigsaw puzzle together starting with the border.  After that, pieces start falling into place.  The more they hear and pictures to show, sentences become clearer.

Over time the more they picture words the easier it will become for my son to understand.  It's a matter of how fast the words can be processed visually in his mind.  For now, repeating sentences and shortening them up is helping him to learn faster.  It helps him pick out the words he knows so he can visualize what I'm saying.

"KEY SYMPTOMS OF ASD"

I have been telling so far my experience with my sons autism.  The red flags, his signs of the autism spectrum disorder.  No two children on the spectrum are alike.  The spectrum can range from mild to very severe.

I have been studying on this topic going over  4 years.  Every time there is a new idea about treatment, I have to watch or read that article.  I want to know and understand what other parents, like myself, go through to teach and handle their child with autism.  How to handle their sensory overloads.  How to advert their attention away from their autistic traits.  How to be more social.

As a new parent, you see your child as flawless.  As baby's they are so beautiful and fragile.  You want nothing other than the best care and security for them.  As they grow and you see that child roll over for the first time, it brings tears of joy to your eyes.  Then you see them take their first steps.  You hear their first words.  But then all of a sudden, they stop talking.  What's that about?  Does it make you think, or do you just go on to wait and hope it comes back?

These are more of the key symptoms of autism in infants:

No joyful expressions or big smiles by 6 months

No sharing of sounds or facial expressions by 9 months

No baby babbling by 12 months

No showing of gestures such as pointing, waving, showing or reaching by 12 months

No 2 word meaningful sentences by 24 months (by not repeating)

Loss of speech, babbling or social skills at any age

I never understood how a child younger then the age of 2 could be diagnosed.  The professionals know and can spot the signs as clear as you can read these words. 

I waited to see if my sons routines would break themselves.  That his speech would return and we could understand him.  That his sensory overloads were just behavior that would change in time.  I regret the wait.  I should have taken him in to get him screened sooner.