mind games

When I want Dane to do something and I tell him to do it he responds differently.  I do not know if he is not listening, doesn't hear me, doesn't understand, not paying attention or completely ignoring me.  It gets very frustrating.  I am tired of telling him over and over.  It has to be his auditory processing disorder part of his autism.

When I tell his sister to do something she stands there and shakes her head "no."  Then comes times where she has something she shouldn't have.  She had a marker in her hand this morning and was walking around the house with it.  I wanted to take it from her and she ran off with it.  She got to her room and dropped it and slammed the door.  I picked up the marker to put it up so she can't get to them.  She came back out and screamed she wanted to color.

Last night at Grandpas the kids got out the garden hose.  Dane was soaked to the bone spraying himself.  He ran away from me when I wanted to get him back into dry clothes.  Eventually he came up to my dad and wanted to be changed.  About 10 minutes later he came back full of mud from playing in the wet grass they sprayed with the hose.

Ally came up to me and said that Dane put dirt down her pants.  I looked and her underwear was full of dirt.  She was filthy!  I made her go in the house and take bath.  I had to sweep up the mess after she got undressed.  It was a lot of dirt.   After Ally got out of the tub, Dane wanted a bath.  Of course he had to have his sandbox toy he calls, "Spinner."  That seems like the only toy that brings him joy.  He sleeps with it even.

My basement is a mess.  Not only do they drag toys all over the house and make me pick up constantly after them.  They got into the guinea pig bedding and threw it down the stairs and all over the basement floor.  We have a social story to pick up toys I will have to use with Dane.  We have had success with the no hitting social story.  Instead of hitting Ally he growls, clenches his fists and yells, "I'm mad at you!"

Time Out in School

After picking up Dane from school Monday I asked the usual question.  "How was school today?"  Dane usually responds with, "Good."  Okay, that's a start.  "Did you have fun?  What did you learn today?"  Dane says he likes school and that he got a time out.  A Time Out!?

I ask, "What happened?  Dane said, "I dunno."  Then all he said what that, "Teacher is naughty!"  I was getting ready for bed and my wife was out the door going to work.  I told her, "Dane got a time out today."  "For what? " She says.  I said he didn't tell me why.

The next morning my wife was getting Dane ready for school and she asked about the time out.  He responded with a horrible meltdown.  He may have been getting sick and not feeling well so he stayed home from school.

I brought up with Danes therapist that he had a time out and won't tell me what happened.  I asked her if she can get it out of him.  He gave her two stories what happened.  Either the whole class got a time out or just a small group including him got a time out for hitting.  I told the therapist that the teacher didn't say anything to me about this time out incident.  Maybe it wasn't that serious and that's why she didn't tell me or send home a note. I said that it was interesting that he told me and brought it to my attention.  That's progress with his communication that something happened.

Play Date

Since my wife works the night shift I need to keep the kids entertained to let her get sleep.  Usually I have to run out to the country to visit their Grandpa.  Out there I get a chance to put my feet up and let the kids run around.  I also get to get caught up on my family and talk with dad.

I have to discipline the kids when they don't listen or do bad things so I punish them by not going to their Grandpa's.  That also hurts me because there I can unwind and have help watching my kids.  I feel they see too much of their Grandpa and that's probably why they don't listen to me.  Grandpa likes to give in way too much and not say "no."  That causes trouble for me when I get the kids home.  They feel like they can do whatever they want and walk over me.

Some days I am so exhausted after working all day.  My feet hurt, I'm tired and hungry.  All I want to do is get home some days and take a shower and sit down.  Luckily today the kids were actually napping when I got home and I got to catch a cat nap with them.

After they woke up that's the start of another full time job keeping them happy and entertained.  I let them go outside and Dane organizes his pinwheels and played with the bubble mower.  Ally plays on the swings.  Sometimes Ally will take things from Dane and he hits her in the back.  I hate it when he does that.  He needs to learn to use his words and not his fists.  He needs to hear that makes his sister sad and it hurts her.  The no hitting social story from the school helped explain that to him.  His therapist also explains to him.  He has a hard time seeing how others feel.

I told them we'd go up to the park because I had to send out a letter for another speech evaluation on Dane.  I went the wrong way and instead of turning around I went to my cousin's place.  He has 2 boys the same age as mine.

It is important for Dane to have someone close to him to play with.  I have seen many benefits with his behavior watching and learning from other children.  Daycare is very beneficial having him see all the other kids dressing themselves and how they use their manners.  We do not need daycare the way our work schedules line up.  We use it 2 days a week for Danes benefit.  It also helps my wife to get some sleep after working all night.  It also gives me a couple hours to get something done around the house and a break from the kids.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays Dane has his therapy after Dawn works all night.  She has to come home and quickly get the kids back out the door for the next few hours.  I don't know how she stays awake.  This is just something we have to do to help Dane overcome some of his issues.  He is maturing and learning to do things more independently.  Right at the moment his fine motor skills are declining and therapy and us have to help him work on that.

No Hitting - Social Story

This is the social story I have to teach my autistic son not to hit his sister. I got this information from my son's Behavioral Therapist through the school system. I hope this is able to be printed and used by parents and educators to teach the child not to hit. I have meant to have this uploaded at an earlier post but my scanner was not working.

What is a social story? It is a simple picture story that helps use a visual way of teaching an autistic child how to do something or show how others feel. It consists of:

1. Descriptive sentences show information about specific social situations or settings. They provide what the person sees, who is involved, and what happens.

2. Perspective sentences describe the feelings, emotions, thoughts, and/or mood of others. This is the way a situation is viewed by someone else. Children with autism have difficulties understanding how others see things.

3. Directive sentences provide the autistic child with information about what they should try to do and be successful in that situation.

4. Control sentences provide the autistic child with how to control their emotions. In this case with my son. His anger and wanting to hit his sister.

I think the picture scanned will be able to take to full screen and zoomed for a better look and to be printed. Hope this helps for those who have been asking.