When I want Dane to do something and I tell him to do it he responds differently. I do not know if he is not listening, doesn't hear me, doesn't understand, not paying attention or completely ignoring me. It gets very frustrating. I am tired of telling him over and over. It has to be his auditory processing disorder part of his autism.
When I tell his sister to do something she stands there and shakes her head "no." Then comes times where she has something she shouldn't have. She had a marker in her hand this morning and was walking around the house with it. I wanted to take it from her and she ran off with it. She got to her room and dropped it and slammed the door. I picked up the marker to put it up so she can't get to them. She came back out and screamed she wanted to color.
Last night at Grandpas the kids got out the garden hose. Dane was soaked to the bone spraying himself. He ran away from me when I wanted to get him back into dry clothes. Eventually he came up to my dad and wanted to be changed. About 10 minutes later he came back full of mud from playing in the wet grass they sprayed with the hose.
Ally came up to me and said that Dane put dirt down her pants. I looked and her underwear was full of dirt. She was filthy! I made her go in the house and take bath. I had to sweep up the mess after she got undressed. It was a lot of dirt. After Ally got out of the tub, Dane wanted a bath. Of course he had to have his sandbox toy he calls, "Spinner." That seems like the only toy that brings him joy. He sleeps with it even.
My basement is a mess. Not only do they drag toys all over the house and make me pick up constantly after them. They got into the guinea pig bedding and threw it down the stairs and all over the basement floor. We have a social story to pick up toys I will have to use with Dane. We have had success with the no hitting social story. Instead of hitting Ally he growls, clenches his fists and yells, "I'm mad at you!"
This is my online diary about my son diagnosed with autism at age 2. His progress and regressions. His behavior and his sensory overloads. Therapy and picture schedules. Drama and humor to figure out how his mind works.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Triggered Emotion
Tonight I had to work a bit late because there was no production at the plant on 2nd shift. I had to get everything put away and finish up as fast as possible. I do not wish to work any overtime. 8 hours is enough working in the factory. Get to work, do the job and get the hell out. Done and done.
It seemed like a long drive home after work. Maybe it felt like that to prepare what was coming when I got home. I pulled into the driveway and my wife was putting the kids into the other vehicle. Dane is a basket case. "The house is trashed." Says my wife. "We're going to your dads."
The kids are loaded into my vehicle and Dane gets more upset that he's not in the black vehicle. We get them out and I get down on my knees and ask Dane if he needs squeezes. He says "Yes." I rub his back and give him tight hugs and press down on his shoulders. I tell him that he will get through it. It seemed to help. I don't know what it is other then it's the sensory input he needs to calm down.
Lately Dane has been having some pretty unbelievable meltdowns. The last one was over the weekend when we went to visit my sister. Grandpa and my sister left to go to the store. Dane didn't notice they left, until they got back. Then it started. He wanted to go to the store. He stormed off and down the road. He has no idea where we are. We start off after him and he is far ahead of us. I run to catch him.
Finally we catch up to him and try to turn him around to walk back to the house. He screams bloody murder and that he's not going back. He wants to go to the store. He runs ahead of us back to the house and then curls up into a ball on the ditchline. I try to pick him up but he screams and kicks at me. He notices his cousin, Alex, back at the house and runs back meet him. What just happened?
I ask my wife later tonight, "What set him off?" She says, "Nothing." I say, "Something had to set him off?" She said he woke up from his nap and wet himself in his sleep. "There ya go." Normally we have to put a pull up on him when he naps and when he sleeps at night to prevent an accident. On that note, either wake him up earlier from his nap or let him sleep longer but don't forget to put training pants on him. He's fully potty trained except for cleaning himself and wetting when in a deep sleep. If I happen to wake up in the night I try to drag him to the bathroom to release and he usually will wake up dry.
The sad part about all of this emotion is that Dane wants to be normal but he just can't control this part of himself. I remember asking him what was wrong during this episode and he said that he didn't know. He's so upset, over nothing, and can't calm himself down. It hurts me to see him like that. One minute he's happy and playful. Next, he's a train wreck with emotions and can't control himself. It's like walking on eggshells with him.
It seemed like a long drive home after work. Maybe it felt like that to prepare what was coming when I got home. I pulled into the driveway and my wife was putting the kids into the other vehicle. Dane is a basket case. "The house is trashed." Says my wife. "We're going to your dads."
The kids are loaded into my vehicle and Dane gets more upset that he's not in the black vehicle. We get them out and I get down on my knees and ask Dane if he needs squeezes. He says "Yes." I rub his back and give him tight hugs and press down on his shoulders. I tell him that he will get through it. It seemed to help. I don't know what it is other then it's the sensory input he needs to calm down.
Lately Dane has been having some pretty unbelievable meltdowns. The last one was over the weekend when we went to visit my sister. Grandpa and my sister left to go to the store. Dane didn't notice they left, until they got back. Then it started. He wanted to go to the store. He stormed off and down the road. He has no idea where we are. We start off after him and he is far ahead of us. I run to catch him.
Finally we catch up to him and try to turn him around to walk back to the house. He screams bloody murder and that he's not going back. He wants to go to the store. He runs ahead of us back to the house and then curls up into a ball on the ditchline. I try to pick him up but he screams and kicks at me. He notices his cousin, Alex, back at the house and runs back meet him. What just happened?
I ask my wife later tonight, "What set him off?" She says, "Nothing." I say, "Something had to set him off?" She said he woke up from his nap and wet himself in his sleep. "There ya go." Normally we have to put a pull up on him when he naps and when he sleeps at night to prevent an accident. On that note, either wake him up earlier from his nap or let him sleep longer but don't forget to put training pants on him. He's fully potty trained except for cleaning himself and wetting when in a deep sleep. If I happen to wake up in the night I try to drag him to the bathroom to release and he usually will wake up dry.
The sad part about all of this emotion is that Dane wants to be normal but he just can't control this part of himself. I remember asking him what was wrong during this episode and he said that he didn't know. He's so upset, over nothing, and can't calm himself down. It hurts me to see him like that. One minute he's happy and playful. Next, he's a train wreck with emotions and can't control himself. It's like walking on eggshells with him.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Fine Motor Skills & Gross Motor Skills
A topic brought up at Danes therapy was how his fine and gross motor skills are. We have noticed a decline in his fine motor skills. He is having trouble zipping up his coat and putting on his shoes. When he writes he doesn't hold the crayon correctly and struggles to write his name and draw shapes. He did okay cutting with a scissors in a strait line. Towards the end he just ripped the rest of the way off.
As far as his gross motor skills, he is doing very well. He can run strait and climb. The therapist asked if he was ever clumsy or had trouble with balance. I told her that Dane recently has been able to ride his bike without training wheels. He has very good balance and he is fast. Too fast and he's hard to catch and keep up with.
Dane is a very good problem solver. He loves it outside and always tries to get out of the house. I tell him to wait and he gets upset and storms off outside when told "Not yet." I don't like it that he gets up early in the morning and right away want's outside. I say that we can go out at 11:00 and it's only 7:00.
Dane is capable of telling time by the numbers and understands the little hand on clocks. He pushed a chair up to the battery operated clock on the wall, took it down and turned the small hand to 11. Funny and smart thinking but that's not how it works I told him. Turing the clock ahead 4 hours doesn't make it 4 hours later. Whether he understands that or not that was very interesting (and funny) that he did that.
The therapist recommended getting Dane some small legos to build with to work on his fine motor skills. Usually in school they let the kids put beads on strings to make bracelets and necklaces for that type of skill. Stacking blocks is also a good tool for learning hand-eye coordination.
At the end of the day the therapist suggested that we set the timer for about 5-7 minutes and make it a game to pick up the house. During that time the kids and the parents do as much as they can in that time until the timer goes off. Afterwords is supposed to be a celebration that they were good helpers and to treat them with some type of reward. We're supposed to give them high 5's and really soak it up on how helpful they are. That's actually a good point because the kids are old enough now where they need to help out more. It's always "You do it." I'm tired of the kids making me pick up their mess. It's time for the foot to come down and make them clean up after themselves.
As far as his gross motor skills, he is doing very well. He can run strait and climb. The therapist asked if he was ever clumsy or had trouble with balance. I told her that Dane recently has been able to ride his bike without training wheels. He has very good balance and he is fast. Too fast and he's hard to catch and keep up with.
Dane is a very good problem solver. He loves it outside and always tries to get out of the house. I tell him to wait and he gets upset and storms off outside when told "Not yet." I don't like it that he gets up early in the morning and right away want's outside. I say that we can go out at 11:00 and it's only 7:00.
Dane is capable of telling time by the numbers and understands the little hand on clocks. He pushed a chair up to the battery operated clock on the wall, took it down and turned the small hand to 11. Funny and smart thinking but that's not how it works I told him. Turing the clock ahead 4 hours doesn't make it 4 hours later. Whether he understands that or not that was very interesting (and funny) that he did that.
The therapist recommended getting Dane some small legos to build with to work on his fine motor skills. Usually in school they let the kids put beads on strings to make bracelets and necklaces for that type of skill. Stacking blocks is also a good tool for learning hand-eye coordination.
At the end of the day the therapist suggested that we set the timer for about 5-7 minutes and make it a game to pick up the house. During that time the kids and the parents do as much as they can in that time until the timer goes off. Afterwords is supposed to be a celebration that they were good helpers and to treat them with some type of reward. We're supposed to give them high 5's and really soak it up on how helpful they are. That's actually a good point because the kids are old enough now where they need to help out more. It's always "You do it." I'm tired of the kids making me pick up their mess. It's time for the foot to come down and make them clean up after themselves.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Parent/Teacher Conference
I was pretty leery about what was going to be said with Danes teacher. Are they having troubles with him in class? Is he keeping up to his peers? Has he had any meltdowns? I was worried going at this alone because my wife works the night shift and she sleeps at this time of the day.
Grandpa came and took the kids while I went to the conference. To my surprise I got right in and didn't have to wait. Sweet. This shouldn't take too long I hope. I was there for 25 minutes. I asked a guy I work with who's daughter is in the other class how long his was. He said 10. I must have rambled on. We had a few laughs as well. I cannot believe what they want kids this young to be learning. How well they should be reading and tying their shoes by the end of the school year. All about this "no child left behind" deal. Even the teacher said that kids learn at different paces. True, and what of his autism? Is that affecting him from learning?
It sounds that Dane is doing well in school. She had concerns that he isn't paying attention but when he's looking away and she calls on him, he answers her. This was like when he was in pre-K. During that time Dane had to have a matchbox car with him all the time. He would spin the wheels while the teacher was talking. It would appear that he is not paying attention to the teacher. Also, when asked a question he would answer correctly. I am thinking because of his auditory processing disorder that he cannot visually watch and listen at the same time. He needs to be looking away to listen to process what he is being taught. I think. How else would he know the answers if he's not paying attention. This is his way of paying attention. By looking away.
I told the teacher about forewarning Dane when certain things will happen. Like the fire drill they had. He wasn't prepared and the bell scared him. She said he sat at the table and cupped his ears. I asked if the fluorescent lights bother him also. She told me that she usually only has the front row of lights on because of the sunlight that comes in. As far as him learning she is not concerned that he is lagging. That was very good news that he is catching up to his peers.
The teacher mentioned that the therapists from the center where Dane receives his services faxed over his records what they are working on with him. She couldn't believe this was the same child from what she read. I am thinking because school is so structured that he has learned to go with the flow. At home, our structure is bad. As I said, my wife and I both work full time opposite shifts. The structure is her way, then my way, then the weekend we are both home with the kids and they don't know who to listen to. It's hell.
Structure is very important. Routine wise. Break the routine and pay the price. Dane relies on a set system of his daily activities. If something is out of sync it drive him over the edge. Thus, the meltdown. Tipping over chairs, hitting his sister, banging his head, slamming doors, knocking over books, and so on. Destroying the house.
The best way to handle a meltdown or tantrum in other words is to avoid it. Get to know the child in what sets them off. That's a bit of the problem. You may think you have something figured out and then something else arrives that triggers off the emotions. Keep a log of when and where things out of the ordinary happen. Piece together and pinpoint the problems. Work with them and talk to the therapists about what needs to be addressed to. Work with the child and don't yell. It never helped with Dane. He never understood why I would raise my voice. Before he was diagnosed it seemed like that would make him learn right from wrong. It didn't.
Grandpa came and took the kids while I went to the conference. To my surprise I got right in and didn't have to wait. Sweet. This shouldn't take too long I hope. I was there for 25 minutes. I asked a guy I work with who's daughter is in the other class how long his was. He said 10. I must have rambled on. We had a few laughs as well. I cannot believe what they want kids this young to be learning. How well they should be reading and tying their shoes by the end of the school year. All about this "no child left behind" deal. Even the teacher said that kids learn at different paces. True, and what of his autism? Is that affecting him from learning?
It sounds that Dane is doing well in school. She had concerns that he isn't paying attention but when he's looking away and she calls on him, he answers her. This was like when he was in pre-K. During that time Dane had to have a matchbox car with him all the time. He would spin the wheels while the teacher was talking. It would appear that he is not paying attention to the teacher. Also, when asked a question he would answer correctly. I am thinking because of his auditory processing disorder that he cannot visually watch and listen at the same time. He needs to be looking away to listen to process what he is being taught. I think. How else would he know the answers if he's not paying attention. This is his way of paying attention. By looking away.
I told the teacher about forewarning Dane when certain things will happen. Like the fire drill they had. He wasn't prepared and the bell scared him. She said he sat at the table and cupped his ears. I asked if the fluorescent lights bother him also. She told me that she usually only has the front row of lights on because of the sunlight that comes in. As far as him learning she is not concerned that he is lagging. That was very good news that he is catching up to his peers.
The teacher mentioned that the therapists from the center where Dane receives his services faxed over his records what they are working on with him. She couldn't believe this was the same child from what she read. I am thinking because school is so structured that he has learned to go with the flow. At home, our structure is bad. As I said, my wife and I both work full time opposite shifts. The structure is her way, then my way, then the weekend we are both home with the kids and they don't know who to listen to. It's hell.
Structure is very important. Routine wise. Break the routine and pay the price. Dane relies on a set system of his daily activities. If something is out of sync it drive him over the edge. Thus, the meltdown. Tipping over chairs, hitting his sister, banging his head, slamming doors, knocking over books, and so on. Destroying the house.
The best way to handle a meltdown or tantrum in other words is to avoid it. Get to know the child in what sets them off. That's a bit of the problem. You may think you have something figured out and then something else arrives that triggers off the emotions. Keep a log of when and where things out of the ordinary happen. Piece together and pinpoint the problems. Work with them and talk to the therapists about what needs to be addressed to. Work with the child and don't yell. It never helped with Dane. He never understood why I would raise my voice. Before he was diagnosed it seemed like that would make him learn right from wrong. It didn't.
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