Dentist Cleaning and Sealants

Dane's 2nd trip to the dentist went well. He needed a teeth cleaning and they added sealants to 4 of his molars. I hope he will never have to sit through cavity drilling again. The sealants should help prevent cavities at least in those areas. The last time he was at the dentist he had 3 cavities drilled.

The first thing the dental hygienist did was put sunglasses on him. Good thing because he's looking strait up at fluorescent lights that scramble his vision. The flickering of the lights could have put him into a sensory over-load and probably would have prompted him into a meltdown.

For the first 5 minutes or so he was doing as told. Something started to scare him or hurt his ears because they have those little screaming instruments inside his mouth. That had to have been hard and hurt his hearing. He started to have tears run down his face. I know he badly wanted to cup his ears but the dentist kept telling him to put his hands down.

The part I didn't like was how fast they tried to work with him. I know when I get my teeth cleaned it's like they can't wait to get me out of that chair and get the next paying patient in. Slow down already! My kid has autism and he's very sensitive. Sure, she kept saying "This doesn't hurt, it's only air." What does she know what hurts him and what doesn't?

The best thing was when it was over and he got his picture taken for the "no cavity club." He's the only kid in there with sunglasses on.

I had my 3 year old daughter in there with me to see what happens at the dentist. She liked that she got a sticker after it was over. Dane got to pick out a couple toys of his own. Nothing that would spin did they have so he picked out 2 bouncy balls.

When we got home he was excited that he got to put his pinwheels into the ground. He must have played and organized them for about an hour.


Tomorrow he has intensive therapy. It will last about 3 hours and my wife will have to take him alone. I will be at work and my father will have to watch my daughter. The therapists don't want his sister there as she will cause distraction.

Some days I have to take family medical leave from work to be at the therapy session when needed. Part of the therapy is family counseling for my wife and I. They recommended that for all parents involved with the therapy. I have no say if I want to or not.  The family counselor has given us very good advice as to how we need to address problems so far.

It would have been different if my daughter was born first and we would have had prior experience parenting.  Parenting an autistic child is a lot to learn and how to deal with how they react to their environment.  Once you get to know what sets them off the better prepared you become once your aware. 

Road Safety - Boundaries

I am really trying to stress roadside safety to my son. He needs to stay off the road and watch for cars. I don't think he fully understands the dangers of oncoming traffic. I live in town where traffic should drive slow but some people drive by faster than they should.

He has training wheels on a 20" bike now and he wants to go on the road. I have a small driveway and it's not exciting enough for him to stay in it anymore. I tell him in short sentences like when he was little, "No Road!" That's the way Birth to 3 taught us to speak to him so he learned to talk. Sometimes he listens and sometimes not. He will go on the edge and creep out into the road. I really have to keep a close eye on him. I turned around for a split second and he ran out with his dump truck through the curb and gutter running through the dirty water and leaves.  I have set up orange cones at the end of the driveway to give him a visual of where he needs to stop. 

He wants to go for bike rides ever since the other weekend my nephews rode off without him. They are twice his age and he wants to be like the big boys. He gets very heartbroken and trying to tell him he's too little makes him angry. This is when I first took him on the road. I have his little sister in a bike trailer and pull her while I make him stay on the side of the road.

Tonight we rode up to the elementary school playground. I have to warn him several times about the intersection with Yield and Stop signs. I tell him to "Stop and Look both ways. Stay on the side." He's doing good at staying at the side as long as I'm with him.

We got to the playground and there were 3 other kids there with their father. Dane played around with the wood chips and threw them down the slide and played by the water puddles mostly. The other kids left and he tried to follow them on his bike. I had to scurry and get his sister in the trailer and catch up to him. I yelled at him to "Stop!" but it's like he just spaces me out.

When we got to the end of the street those kids were saying "Hi, Dane!" One of the girls was in his class. Dane waved hi back. The girl went on to say how he was invited to a birthday party. I didn't know what to do so we kept on riding. It's nice to know that other children want to include him.

We got home and he took a bubble bath. He jumped out before I got to wash his hair. He hates his hair being touched. I can wash it but it takes patience. He screams the whole time. I try and show him a picture of hair washing to let him know he needs his hair washed. Sometimes it works better then others. Hair cuts are no better.

Dane has therapy from 9-12 tomorrow. I have to take a day off work soon under Family Medical Leave (FML) because the therapists want me there also. I wonder if his weighted vest came in yet? The therapists ordered one a few weeks ago. A women in the area makes them. I hope that helps.  I am having a hard time understanding when to use it on him.  Is it all the time? During sensory breaks?  When?

Family Medical Leave (FML) for autism services

I took a personal day off from work tomorrow to meet with Danes therapists. I went into my employer's office and talked to Human Resources about taking Family Medical Leave for the following Thursday. After the doctors fill out the form I have up to 15 days to return it to the office or that day(s) will count against me.

Dane went on his first field trip and rode the big yellow bus to a local farm today. He had to wear rubber boots because of all the mud. The ground is sopping wet. He said that "Cows poop a lot." He's right.

I spent the remainder of the day trying to keep the kids entertained outside. I put training wheels on a 20" bike for Dane and put Ally in the bike trailer. I took the 3' wire fence down I used around my backyard that was supposed to contain them. They always ran around the front of the house or garage leaving me to chase them home from the neighbors yard. Dane was mostly over there for their pin wheels in their flower bed and Ally would follow.

I put the batteries back in their power wheels and they chased each other around the yard. The 90 year old lady was putting her garbage out and the kids ran over to her and said "hi." That left me to go talk to her. She's a nice old lady but she always tears up when I talk to her. She is very lonely and really wants someone to talk to.

After I got the fence rolled up I asked if the kids wanted to go for another bike ride. They both got into the bike trailer. I rode our way up to the park. When I say "rode" I mainly mean, walked. Having 2 kids weighing 90 lbs. combined pulling them behind you uphill is not easy work.

We arrived at the small park and they went on the merry-go-round. The ground was soaked and we didn't stay very long. After a small crying spell I got the kids ready to go home.

It was getting dark so the solar lights begin to come on. Dane got fixated on why some worked and some didn't. Some of them he had in the light yet and he started to hit them on the ground and yell. He took the old, broken pin wheel from the old lady's house. All that was left was the center and he spun it for some time.

I made the kids a turkey and cheese sandwich. Dane ate his. Ally ate half and gave me the rest. I don't like to waste food so I went to eat it. Gritty I thought. I opened up the sandwich and it was full of sand. She dropped it and gave it to me. No wonder why she didn't want it.

Dane got back on his bike and tried to ride in the road by himself. I ran out and told him to stay on the side. A car was coming and he did a quick turn around right in the middle of the car. It's a good thing I was there or something bad could have happened. I am trying to teach him to watch for cars and stay on the side of the road. I also don't want him on the road without me.

Every thing needs to be explained "why" he can't do things he does from what his therapists tell us. I really don't know how much he understands so I have to still use short sentences around him. Something like, "No road! Danger. Cars can hit you! It scares me that he thinks he can just do it and run off by himself. I always have to keep a close eye on him.

stress

Why is it when parents work so hard all week, coming home to kids who don't listen and being together as a family make your work life much happier then your home life? I cannot understand this. All I want is a happy family. Having an autistic son and a daughter who copy's his behavior makes things harder.

My wife works 3rd shift in a factory. I work 1st at that same job. We do this in order to eliminate day care and make ends meet. Do ends ever meet? Why is it so hard to get our kids to listen to us and make our home life happier?

The way I see it is that my wife has a certain way of raising our kids. When I get the kids is a different way of control. When were together as parents our kids take control over our household. They do not want to listen to either one of us. They fight and tell us "No."

They listen to my wife when it is just her watching the kids. They listen to me when I have the kids. Our structure as a family when were all together seems to diminish some days. Were unhappy. Then the kids settle down and then there is serenity where we can be happy again. It's the time of disagreement and the kids fighting and not listening that brings us to our knees wondering, "What are we doing wrong?"

Things would be totally different if just one of us could stay home. We are living as single parents raising these kids. Will things get better? I sure hope so.

With the intensive therapy starting for my son and my daughter getting out of diapers things should be getting back on the right track. God I hope so.

Seizures

When my son was little, we used to notice him clench and shake like he suddenly got the chills. It would only last a few seconds and we weren't sure what to think of it. As he got older it is not as noticeable but it still happens at times.

His teacher noticed this. During class he gets little tremors and goes into a daze. The teacher will wave her hand in front of his face to try to get his attention back. What is this about?

When we got the diagnosis of autism last year we had mentioned this symptom that we were witnessing. The doctor and Occupational Therapist didn't mention anything about it. We were referred to have intensive therapy to treat autism in my son. It was up to us to look into centers to find one that would be best for him. Luckily we live in a center part of the state where we live within a 40 minute drive one way.

A few weeks ago was my sons first day of intensive therapy for autism services. They took him into a separate room and did play therapy with him for about an hour. After the session the therapist told us what she had witnessed. "He's having seizures."

We brought up what we seen when he was little and what the teacher had told us what happens in class. Some time during his therapy they will include a neurologist and will hook him up to an electroencephalogram (EEG) and find out what triggers these seizures. 1 in 4 children on the spectrum disorder have seizures.

Day 1 of Intensive Therapy

My sons first day of therapy went very well. The therapist came in and asked my son if he wanted to play. He took her by the hand and went into a room where we watched from the other side through a 2 way mirror. This was mostly "play therapy" on his first day. The therapists do not want any disturbances from the parents or other siblings. This is intensive one one one focus working with my son.

We got some interesting observations and learned something about them. When my son is moaning he is crying for sensory stimulation. He also has little seizures which I have noticed when he was still a baby starting to sit up on his own. Soon he will have to have an electroencephalogram (EEG) scan done on his brain. They want to trigger a seizure to find out what causes them. I think they do this by flashing lights at him while monitoring his brain waves. I'm not sure though what they will do. I pray it's not epilepsy. 1 in 4 autistic children have seizures from what I have read.

The therapists ordered us a weighted vest to help with his sensory issues. We tried a weighted blanket in the past when he was being observed through the Birth to Three program. At the time we didn't know how to use it. The same with that little brush they gave us to brush him when he was having sensory-overload. We were supposed to brush his arms to stimulate his nervous system every couple hours. I don't know what ever happened to that brush. I know we gave the blanket back and shrugged our shoulders because we were new parents. A baby doesn't come with directions and what were we supposed to know about autism at the time?

As parents of a child with special needs you learn as you go. I am trying to document what therapy does for my son as to help my readers new to autism learn more about what they may expect. Parenting autism is hard work. Keep faith and hope that the future is bright filled with happiness.

Therapy Drama

Over a month ago we were set to have my sons "intensive therapy" to treat his autism. The day of the appointment, the center called and canceled. They said that one of their doctors went to the emergency room. I can understand that. Even doctors get hurt. The center said that "They would call back and set up another appointment."

Days turn into weeks. They did not call back. What's going on here? We call them and again, "We'll call you." Another week goes by. Same answer. This is getting a little ridiculous. Our case worker called us to see how things are going with my sons therapy. We tell her that they never called us back.

Our case worker calls the center and asks, "What is going on?" The center tells our case worker that, "We canceled our appointment with them!" We explain to our case worker what happened and within a couple days we finally got him a new appointment to start his therapy.

Is this a problem of mixed communication or did they have no intent on calling us back due to budget cuts? A co-worker of mine also has not heard back from this center for his son with autism. Something just doesn't seem right here.

Spring Time

Finally a nearly warm day with no snow left on the ground. Yesterday would have been awesome with the nice weather, which it was, until 3 storms moved on through the area. We were in the red zone and tornado watch till 2 a.m. An area within 30 miles got nailed with a tornado in the west. Another area school and 5,000 people without power about 45 miles in the east got hit also. We got high winds about 40 mph and some heavy rain fall. Hail showers in the north golf ball size. I'm glad that didn't hit us.

I got home from work and Ally was a beast. I picked up Dane from school and all he wanted to do was play with his pin wheels and go for a bike ride. I was tired but I pulled Ally in the wagon and Dane rode through the water puddles in his big wheel to the end of the block. When we got back I put water in his water table and he played with that for a while and got all wet. Usually a small drop of water bothers him and he wants to change right away. I don't know why tonight was different but he wasn't trying to take his shirt off when it was wet.

Our neighbor is a police man. Dane was pointing his finger at his car at the stop sign yelling,"Daddy, police car!" The cop put on his lights for him and then drove off. Dane thought that was cool. It's good to know we live in a patrolled area with little crime. Living next to a cop helps also.

A neighbor lady stopped by with her dog. Of course the kids want to pet it and say "Hello." I was on the phone and had to hang up to talk to a neighbor I've never met before about her dog. I wish the kids wouldn't try to bother all the people going for a walk and make me start conversations with them. She didn't seem to mind though.

Got the kids in the house around 7:30 and they watched "Disneys Little Einsteins." I don't know what they like so much about that cartoon. After a while I think it get's annoying. We have the On Demand feature with our cable and they can watch it when ever they want. I try and tell them it's not on so hopefully they will watch something else. Ally knows I'm lying and she demands to watch it. If they'd only play some different episodes.

Dane has his therapy at 9 a.m. tomorrow for 3 hours. My wife has to get home from working all night, get home, shower and head out 40 miles to meet his therapists. I don't know how she does it. She might be getting on 2nd shift to where she will be able to sleep at night. That will damper our daycare plans and we will have to figure something out on that note. I guess everything happens for a "good" reason, right?


Small clip someone captured of the weather that day.

FAMILY COUNSELING

Let's face it.  Everyone has problems.  Throw in a child with special needs is like riding a bicycle up hill.  It makes it that much harder.  To make things easier for you, wouldn't you want to get off that bike and walk up it.  That's the way I think about it.

Some days are better than others.  Some are horrible.  Throw in a full days hard work and then taking care of kids is yet another full time job in itself.  Would you like just to sit down and relax for once?  I sure would.

Divorce is on the rise of parents with special needs children.  Taking care of my autistic son some days is no walk in the park.  Other days it seems like he is a normal boy smiling and playing with his little sister. 

They like to take turns on who is naughty.  When they are fighting over their toys there is no pleasing either one.  If they can't play nice, no one gets to play with that toy.  Then I'm the bad guy.  Why can't they get along when I am so exhausted after a long day?  That would be nice.

Time to get out.  Drop the kids off with the grandparents or the baby sitter.  Even a trip to the store without the children can take the edge off.  Life and marriage with children is stressful.  Take the time to get reconnected with your spouse.  Talk about you want from each other or go on a date.  Time off is a good thing.

Family counseling is going to be a part of my sons intensive therapy for his autism.  I did not like the idea at first but its worth saving my marriage and working out the kinks.  The best thing I think people can do with children is work out their differences.  For the children. 

I've seen the effects divorce does to children.  It messes with their heads.  One parent bashes the other.  I do not like that.  I do not want to be one of those fathers who just walks out.  Long story short. Work things out and think about your kids first.  Maybe family counseling is the right thing for you to save your family.

EARLY SIGNS OF AUTISM AND MY DENIAL

We were involved in a program called Birth To Three when Dane was 2 and a half.  The county got us on this program because we let our family doctor know we were having troubles getting Dane to talk.  The most he could do to communicate at the time was whine and cry while pointing.  The trouble was: What is he pointing at?  What does he want?  The doctor made the call and referred us.  If she had not I don't know where we would have started.

Christmas 2007 Dane received a toy dump truck for a present.  The first and only thing he did was flip it over and spin the wheels.  The same went for a toy wagon we had.  You could put blocks in this wheel in the center and music would play.  He would spin that wheel so fast sometimes he would get his fingers pinched.  Anything that could spin, Dane would spin it.  He would sit and examine what kinds of spins were resulting in.  This came to saucers and spoons as well.  Nothing else mattered.

I taught him how the light switch worked when he was little.  It wasn't long until he had to always flip switches.  Cries of anger and tantrums broke out unless he could turn the light on and off before leaving the room.  We would visit friends and family and he would search the house for switches and flip every one.  That was his main concern.  Everyone in the room did not exist to him.

Many of these routines were going on.  He started lining up blocks and matchbox cars.  If you moved one out of line, you broke his routine.  He threw a fit.  Still, I did not know what was going on.  "This is all part of being a kid.  He will outgrow these weird routines."  So I thought.

My denial seeing certain signs of autism and still not wanting to think anything was wrong.  Birth to Three would use the term; (Red Flags).  The doctor said it's a possibility of autism.

I was seeing billboards that had a young girl on it that said. "Autism Speaks.  1 out of 100 children are diagnosed with autism every day!"  I would look at that billboard everyday for a year before turning on the road to go to my house.  Still, I would shake my head and say, "No, that's not my son.  He's fine."  Funny how life was telling me but I just looked away.  After he was tested, that sign turned into an Army sign.  Just that fast.  Strange?

If I could turn back the clock 1 year sooner to have him tested I would.  It is a very long wait and have your child in line for testing.  We had it set up the first time.  They said it was a long wait.  Over a year. One week later they called and said they had an opening.  I couldn't believe this.  "Yeah, long wait.  We can get him in next week?  This is some ploy to scare us into getting him tested.  The hospital just wants our money!"  We let it go.  We were seeing improvements with Dane.

Time went by and he regressed.  This is after my daughter Allyson was born.  "He wants to be the baby."  I thought.  Still denying anything wrong.

When Dane started school, the teachers recommend we have him tested.  That was the final moment for me to make my mind known that there are symptoms of autism.  "We have to get him tested."  We made the call.

Again the hospital said.  "It's a long list."  History repeated itself and we were luckily able to get him tested.  This still boggles my mind.  If there is such a long list of those to be tested, how were we lucky enough to get in within a couple weeks!  Is that the scare tactic to get your child tested?  Or, was it fate that helped us?

I just hope that if you have concerns over your child to not wait and see.  This took a year off of early intervention and therapy that could have helped my son.  Do not make the same mistake I did.  Get your child tested ASAP!

"INTENSIVE THERAPY"

Today was to be the first of many intensive 3 hour treatments for my sons autism.  We are expected to go 2 days a week.  We were advised to get around 40 hours in home treatment for intensive therapy.  That would complicate things further we thought.  Not to mention they canceled his 1st appointment today.  That was disappointing because I could have went with to meet the doctors and what they will do.  The other times, I will be at work and miss out.

My wife and I work opposite shifts.  We are practically 2 single parents raising our 2 children.  We want to get top of the line specialists who know how to treat this.  During these sessions he will see 4 different doctors who will work with different types of his social disorders.

We want to eliminate his sensory meltdowns.  We want to break his routines without him getting so upset.  He is very heartbroken over almost everything.  The phone rings.  I start talking.  He will stand there and cry until he says hello on the phone.  No matter who is on the other line.  After he says hello, bingo, all better.

When I do laundry, he will be upstairs playing.  As soon as I push the dryer button to start he runs downstairs and throws a fit.  "Push start!  Let me do it!"  He tantrums just over the push of a button.  This goes for starting the microwave and making toast.  It's alright if he is there and I will let him do it.  I should not have to go out of my way to get him just to push the button to advert a tantrum.

People look at him and see nothing wrong.  He is a beautiful, sweet boy.  They just don't see what it is like all day dealing with keeping him happy.  He is very smart and he likes to sing along to music.  He likes Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber.

Autism is known as the silent disease.  On the outside, the person looks normal.  On the inside, however, their brain is wired completely different.  They see the world in a whole different way.  This is why as parents we need to spread Autism Awareness.  1 in 100 children are diagnosed every day.  It may affect you or someone you know.