feelings

When Dane wants something or to do something, it's NOW!  There in no patience involved.  He doesn't get the fact when someone is busy that he needs to wait a bit.  It is always about him.  He doesn't seem to think of others or how it will affect their feelings.

My wife bought a baby book with pictures to show the feelings of others.  I can see why she bought it.  I don't think he knows or understands facial expressions.  To see and visualize what these people are feeling in the photos helps him to see expression.

The first picture was a happy family.  I had to tell him over and over that this is the kind of family we want.  Happy Family.  Next picture was sad.  I want him to know that we want and need a happy family and not a sad or angry family.  I go on to explain that when he is sad or angry that the whole family is affected.  I hope it sinks in that happy is so much better then angry.  We can do more when everyone is happy.  When the kids don't listen we have to discipline and not go to the store.  Not go outside.  It affects everyone.  Parenting is not as fun as they make it look on television.  Especially when you have one with special needs and needs special attention given to.

I hope with his therapy that he will be able to control his frustration in time.  When he is frustrated, he will storm off and say he's gonna do it, go outside, hit something or break something.  "Daddy, go outside?"  he says.  "No, Dane.  It's raining and windy and cold."  I say.  "Alright!  I'm going outside!"  and he storm off trying to get out.  No is never an answer with him.  Again, it's always what he wants and feels nothing about others.  Even when I say, "Pretty soon."  That's not soon enough and he gets angry and try's to storm out without anyone being ready.  Not even he is ready to go out.  Skip the shoes and coat.  He wants out and he's going with or without me or his shoes and jacket.  Everything has to be done at the drop of a hat.

Confused

I don't think that people see the way my wife and I see our son.  I know that from looking at him that he appears that there can certainly be nothing wrong.  He is a smart and handsome young man from looks.  On the inside is what people don't see and what we deal with.  Behavior wise.  If I were to record and show one of his meltdowns they would be in shock that this is the same boy.

Medical terminology has not given us a term to describe my sons autism.  I am sure that he is high functioning (HF).  He is now using speech to ask and get what he wants.  It is hard to figure out what he is saying at times and he gets frustrated. He is using fine motor skills at school to bead a string into a necklace.  He is starting to ride a bike with training wheels.   He is doing lots of normal little boy stuff.

He does good at early education in school.  They give him sensory breaks every two hours and take him out of class.  He had only had 1 fairly difficult meltdown the year so far.  He seems to be making some friends and getting to socialize better.  He used to shy off to the corner by himself away from everyone and play with his toys.  Nobody else existed in his world.  He has come a long way so far.

However, it seems that no one sees the inside behavior that my wife and I put up with.  My father has seen how his temper can change over something small.  I see it every day.  Everything at home sets him off the wall.  Turning on the microwave, starting the dryer, pushing down the toaster.  Little things all the time.  If he does it first or has the chance that I let him he will be fine.  Then a while later I forget and do something that throws off his routine all hell breaks loose.  He will hit the floor, bang his head, hit the walls, hit his sister, tip over chairs and stomp on the floor with his feet.  That is very aggravating.  That is not normal.  His therapist said something about an audio processing disorder.  This causes him to do the things he does without thinking because their is more hormone in that part of his brain that sets him over the edge.  Fight and Run she also described it as.

At therapy for the time hes there, he cooperates.  At school, he listens.  At home it can be a nightmare.  We have been seeing improvements with his therapy and he holds back from hitting his sister.  In turn he hits himself and bites his hand. Thinking about it now it seems that frustration sets him off a lot.